Jesse's on his way to pick up our computer.  I won't miss this laptop (and all my typos) one bit!

Be blessed  ~

oing the

My heart is warmed by all of the outpouring of sympathy you have shown me and my family!  I know many people have prayed and my heart is being healed.  Death is so final and I've seen my share of things I love die in recent months.

The past 12 months have been an unnerving span of time.  So much bad news and so much death around me.  Yet, the key words in that are "the past" and, as I move forward, I remember God's faithfulness and His promises to heal our broken hearts, as well as our illnesses or diseases. 

We had a bad morning with Luci - a huge out of control fit.  She growled and screamed so much (and for so long, like hours) she has given herself laryngitis!    I continue to pray about that situation.  Since Jesse hasn't been working and has been home daily, he is loosing patience like I do.  We have come up with some consequences for her "overboard" behaviors.  Granted she takes medication and yada yada yada, but, she wasn't allowed to leave with Jesse and the other girls this afternoon, because she refused to do her schoolwork today.  After they left and it was *REAL* that she had lost the battle, she became docile and did her work in 10 minutes.  (sigh)      Prayer for God's wisdom, once more, takes the front seat!

Because of the upheaval this week and this morning, I baked some triple chocolate fudge/chocolate chip cookies and that was my lunch.  Three cookies later, things are looking brighter!     I'm incredible shallow and easily pacified with chocolate.  Pathetic, I know!  

I ordered a bunch of books from an auction on eBay. They arrived yesterday,  I paged through them last night and Jesse laughed at my enthusiasm!  We joke, HE loves shoes . . . and *I* love books!     I have two John Piper books; "Desiring God" and "What Jesus Demands from the World" and one by Charles Sheldon, "In His Steps."  I started "In His Steps" last night and read until after midnight!  It's been a long time since a book really grabbed my attention.

There were several more books that I thumbed through last night before deciding on the Sheldon book.  Then, another book arrived today.  I read about it on another friend's site and ordered it for my girls.  "A Girl of Beauty," by Carol Fiddler.  It is written about character traits that make a girl beautiful (not her eyes, her nose, etc.).  Each lesson is very short with questions geared toward girls in the 8 to 12 year old bracket.

I've been doing a lot of eBay browsing.  Rissy's b-day is at the end of February and I'm thinking along the lines of adding an American Girl Doll to her collection.  Can't decide whether to buy one new or from eBay.  I also can't decide which doll.  I lost an auction last night for 15 American Girl books BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID LAPTOP COMPUTER!!!!!!!       I couldn't get the cursor to move so I could bid during the last 20 seconds.  That's why I haven't been on here much - it's difficult for me to use this laptop and it tries my patience!

That said, I think I'll move back to my bed and lie down and read or watch Jeopardy!  My back needs a rest.

Thank you again to all who have left nice notes regarding Stormy's death.  Your kind spirits have really ministered to my whole family! 

Be Blessed  ~

I'm so sad.  Jesse took Stormy to the vet (after a long night of vomiting, despite the medication to stop it) and it was decided we should put her to sleep.

I think I knew.  I had such a bad sense about her sickness.

The vet was reluctant to say what he really thought, but (as Jesse said) he beat around the bush about expensive and heroic measures that offered no guarantee. 

She would have been six years old in April.  Not very old.  She had come from a farm where the entire two litters of kittens and their mothers were killed by coyotes. 

So, she definitely had a longer life being with us and was treated well, even pampered, by us.

She slept with Jesse on the sofa last night (he and Luci had a vomiting bug), and she went to my closet, early this morning, after throwing up again.  She slept on the floor on my soft bathrobe and a fluffy pink blanket that was "SO VERY STORMY"!!!

It's a sad day for us.  She slept in Rissy's room a lot and Rissy isn't taking the news well.

I'm praying, now, that our hearts mend and we can move on.  I've cleaned up the areas she was in (disinfected them) and have taken away her bowls and other painful reminders.

Such a heavy feeling.  It's hard for me, but even harder to see my children hurting.

Be Blessed  ~

I'm still here in the cold, with "my cold" - or whatever you call this "throat thing" that's hanging on!

Still no voice, and still don't have our computer back.

Last week, I agonizingly went through all of the pictures from February 2008 through January 2009 and loaded them onto a Wal-Mart account, to be printed at a later date.  I figured I was protecting those pictures in case the computer crashed.  I've already accidentally erased them from my camera's card.

Well, the idea was a good one, but, yesterday, when I went to pull up the pictures, to order prints, I found I HAD NO PICTURES, nor an account set up with Wal-Mart!!!!  Have no idea what I did wrong, but my computer pictures definitely need to be saved along with my documents before the repair guy dumps stuff and reloads our computer!!!  I'd hate to loose birthday parties and a year's worth of our lives on film!  Or "not film" but whatever technology calls camera pictures these days!

I've cleaned up some of the obvious Christmas decorations.  Those of you who have known me for a long time KNOW I leave up the greenery and berries through January.  The stockings, gingerbread man, dining room table centerpiece, and other things are wrapped and back in boxes, to be taken to the garage, to be taken to the attic, to be taken to infinity!

I have thank you notes to write (some to a few of you - you know who you are!) but I can't muster the strength.  Not having a voice, and having children who are taking advantage of that fact, is a handful!  Jesse left for a bit.  He can't stand to be cooped up in the house for more than a day or two!  I don't have the strength to assign the review of schoolwork pages or anything of the kind.  So the natives are running rampant.

Stormy was doing better yesterday, but threw up this morning and again this afternoon.  I called the vet and they said to bring her in tomorrow morning, and they'll try shots and some subcutaneous fluids.  She's lost a lot of weight and just doesn't look good.  I wish I could drive.  As it is, I have to tell Jesse what he needs to do each day.  I'd like so much to be able to whip over to the vet (and other places) and not give him lists "To Do" all the time!

It's cold.  Bitterly cold, and only getting colder.  I think our next shot at receiving snow is Wednesday or Thursday.  I know Thursday is supposed to be down into the single digit temperatures.  Brrrrr!

Our anniversary dinner turned out nice.  Amazingly, I haven't lost my ability to taste (just my desire to eat!).  I took pictures of what I cooked, but will have to wait to show them.

Today I received a book in the mail from eBay, "Desiring God" - John Piper.  Can't wait to get started reading it.  I have several books I'm  reading, something unusual for me to do.  I normally focus on only one.  I don't think I know exactly what I'm in the mood for, so I'm reading several at one time.

Guess that's all in my boring life.    I've been lying on the bed and playing a game on my Nintendo DS to pass the time!  Stormy is there (in the middle of my bed) and I supposed I should go check on her again, poor dear.

Be Blessed  ~

Yes, today is our anniversary!  And, in my last post, I said it would be our thirteenth.  It's not.  More chemo brain, I guess!!! LOL

I was reading in bed last night, unable to go to sleep, and Jesse climbed into bed saying it was after midnight, "So, Happy Anniversary!"  I said the same and we turned off the lights.  That's when he said, "You know, I thought we were married for 13 years . . . "  I interjected, 'We have been," and he said, "No, add it up.  1998 to 2008 was ten years . .  . " and I interrupted, " . . . and two more makes . . . oh! . . . twelve, not thirteen."  We laughed, because we have both been telling everyone it would be our 13th anniversary.  Maybe it just SEEMS like that, I don't know!  We then went on to decide how old we each were and decided I was a year younger than I thought I was (always a good thing!), but, admittedly, we had to do math again to figure out my age!

I came down with a lousy throat "condition" on Wednesday night.  I woke up Thursday with a diminished voice and gunky stuff in my throat.  The doctor told me what was safe to take and to call if my fever reached a certain temp.  I've been on bed rest ever since.  I didn't even bother to get dressed today.  Yesterday and today have found me with NO VOICE, just a whisper.  I don't have much of an appetite, but have some sea scallops to cook for our dinner (chicken breasts for the girls), rice, and some kind of vegetable I'll pull out of my hat last minute!

I played Uno! with the girls for a while today.  Tried to read the directions to Dutch Blitz and decided I would have to do too much talking to explain it to the girls.   I pulled out a geography game I recently bought them, but that's when Jesse came home and then left again with Rissy and Luci.

Jesse came back with this borrowed computer until ours is fixed.  It's slow, but it's better than no computer.  I don't have pictures loaded on here (the software) and I won't bother with it.  I am definitely enjoying my new camera!

The snow is still hanging around the house (especially in the front yard - a northern exposure) and now they are predicting a week of VERY cold temps and 3 more chances of snow.  What a bang 2010 has started off to be!  We're loving it, because Jesse can be home and there is just something very cozy about snowy, cold weather, a warm fire, delicious candles burning, and the family being together.  It's a rare combination and I intend to enjoy every second of it!

I may even pull out Wava the 1960's Waffle Iron and make waffles for breakfast in the morning!

Our cat, Stormy, got sick right before Christmas.  I didn't think she was going to live, but she appears to be pulling out of it and is coming out during the day from wherever she hides.  I'm having to be the horrible witch that gives her a once a day antibiotic.  She no longer trusts me and I get the evil eye whenever I enter the same room as her!  I say, "Hi Stormy!" and she winces and walks in the opposite direction.  For you animal lovers, please pray that she pulls through this illness.  She's been vomiting and has lost a LOT of weight.  Like I said, she's eating and not vomiting, so that's a good sign!

I can't think of anything else news worthy.  I don't know how long I'll have this computer, so I'm cramming everything into this one entry!

Be Blessed  ~