It’s been a while (again!) since I’ve been here.

I’ve had an enormously busy January.  Can’t believe it’s January twenty-something, already!  We’ve had a gazillion medical appointments between Jesse, me, and the little girls.   Mostly routine except for Jesse.  He will be having hernia surgery and then everything should slow down.

I’ve also successfully staved off our Christmas celebration.  Plans are to have it next weekend.

There are a few things that still need ribbon and one or two that need wrapping.  AND, only one gift left to purchase (one Rissy needs to get and one *I* need to get) and then it will be time to concentrate on our traditional Christmas dinner: tenderloin roast beef, twice baked potatoes, and a head of cauliflower with green beans around it.   I’ll also be making a beautiful dining room table in reds and whites.

        
                                                  Stocking stuffers hidden at the top of my closet.

I’ll honestly miss the decorations, once they come down.  That den is a beautiful place with all those twinkling lights around the doorways and on the mantle!  If it had snowed, it would have been a perfect “Hallmark card” sort of scene!!!  Who knows, maybe our family WILL have a white Christmas!!!   LOL

I have a routine appointment to see the oncologist next week.  I finished all of my MRIs and CT scans last week. 

The nurse called after one of the MRIs and told me it showed CONTINUED IMPROVEMENT!  Guess that means even the scar tissue (where the cancer tumors had attached) is shrinking and maybe even some bone growth in my spine.   Wouldn’t that be just marvelous???!!!!

The changes were significant enough that when the nurse called and told me the news and I said, “Ok.”  She asked, “That’s it?  Just ‘ok’???” 

I mustered enthusiasm and said, a little louder, “OKAAAAY!” and she told me that was more like it. 

So, I’m taking it that the changes for the better are significant.  I’ll find out the total results next week at my appointment.

At one of the MRIs, last week, I was given a paper to take to the MRI desk and for the very first time saw my diagnosis written down on paper:

                                                                         STAGE 4 CANCER 

It made me shutter. 

That’s the exact reason I told my oncologist (the first day I met her), “I don’t want to know what the report says, nor do I want to see any pictures of the tumors.” 

I was afraid my faith would waiver if I had a picture, or the written diagnosis, in my brain.  You know?  If I *saw* that the cancer was THAT BAD, I might not be able to trust God to be big enough to heal me;  even though we know how big our God is. 

I didn’t want the enemy to make my circumstances any clearer or to etch the diagnosis in my brain.

I knew it was Stage 4 Cancer – but, I focused on and trusted God.

 I told Dr. Bova, “I don’t want to know what the report says or to see pictures of my spine and the tumors in my chest.  *You* do what you do best and treat me; and, *I’ll* do what I do best, and that is to pray!”

And I’m still giving my testimony of what God has done and how I’ve had not one bit of surgery to remove the cancerous tumors.  Praise God!!!!

On a happier note:

I’m home alone in a quiet house. 

Everyone has gone to church and will go by Jesse’s mother’s house afterward to drop off some laundry Jesse did for her.  I had a rare but rough day with pain, yesterday, so Jesse let me sleep too long this morning, and I didn’t have enough time to get ready for church.  He assumed I wouldn’t be feeling good enough to go. 

Wrong!  I feel good enough (thank you, Lord!) but it IS a nice break to have a bit of silence!

We gave Little Bit away this past week. 

I know – a shock!

We’ve been so busy and gone so much that he has been very lonely.  He needed a home where someone could attend to him 24/7.  The gal doing my cleaning said she had several people wanting him and gave him to a family (her husband’s relatives) with lots of children.  She told us, “I don’t think his feet have touched the ground since he arrived.  Someone is always carrying him around and he looks like he’s in heaven – SO very happy!”

In my whole life, this is the second animal I’ve had to give away.  My horse was the first.  If I get a pet, I commit to that pet.  But, Little Bit and the horse both needed more attention then they were getting.  So giving them to GOOD owners made me feel better.

Sushi is doing well without him.  And, we were shocked by how quiet our house has been since Little Bit left.  I didn’t realize he created so much excitement and noise!  He barked all the time and, I guess, I had just become used to it!

I really need to get dressed and get Sunday dinner underway – so, I need to say “good-bye” for now.

Be blessed  ~

First of all, we have not had our “real Christmas” – not yet.

That sounds peculiar  -  and I *will* explain.

I’ve recovered from the “leg episode” and the E.R. visit with the hospital MRI that followed (that all happened the week before Christmas).   I’m back up to my new “normal” speed.

                              
                                         Not sure why everyone’s eyes were closed. 
                         I don’t think this was one of my famous irreverent praying pictures!
                              I think they must have both blinked at the same time!!!

We had Jesse’s birthday on December 4th.  He was 47 and the cake was the only thing I could offer.  I had that mysterious “throat illness” right after Thanksgiving and was in bed 8 or 9 days just weak as a kitten.  I hadn’t even been out to buy birthday a card. 

I felt like a heel, even though I knew there was nothing I could do about it.  He does SO MUCH for me and our family and I had hoped to give him more recognition of our appreciation.  I baked the cake while he was at church.  Strawberry – his favorite.

 
I didn’t have enough candles in one color, nor did I have enough candles in all colors put to together!!  So, I tried the “secret code” candle trick, you know?

The four blue and green stand for 10 years each;

and, then the blue & white are in the shape of a 7 and there are seven of THOSE candles – thus 47 years old.

The one all by itself is the “one to grow on” candle.  

And, it just gets more and more complicated – this crazy little world in which I live!!!!

Totally confused?  Yeah – me too!

Anyway, I think Jesse was (confused) in awe, but he smiled and said, “Thanks babe it looks great” and so we ate cake.

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The next thing we did (once I was well enough) was decorate the house.  Each year it becomes more and more scaled back. and simpler.  This year is was white and cream only.

White and cream on the mantle.  Branches and pine cones I had frosted with canned snow.  A few snowflakes, trees in cream and white.  Candles in cream & white.  And a couple little old men carrying sacks on their backs.

It lit up beautifully at night.  And it makes me NOT want to lose the twinkling lights in the room.  Winter becomes bleak without those extra lights!

The wide doorway into the kitchen was hung with garland and clear lights.  In the garland was white ornaments, both shimmery and satin, and white and clear icicles with a few curled silver ribbons.

A close up of the corner.

And, ditto for the doorway from the dining room into the den.

This year, we let the dining room doorway hang low enough to be seen from the den, too.   Anyone tall, had to dip lower than those center icicles or risk hitting them!  That’s okay.  I’m tall and I got used to it!

The front of the house was left alone except for some table top thingies here and there.  You could see the doorway into the den lights – but those were the only lights.  I leave the lights on the fig trees lit all year round.  I like that ambiance the lights create and I like not having to turn on a lamp.

Of course, I’m not smart enough to know how to take a picture of the lights and not have the camera’s flash override the room’s darkness.  But you get the idea!

This all happened a few days before Christmas.  I was feeling low.  Christmas had come and I was no where near ready.  The decorations were barely up in time, no groceries or gifts had been purchased . . .  It was a HUGE feeling of pressure – and NO feeling of enjoyment or that delightful feeling of “Ahhh, it’s Christmas!”

I talked with Stephanie, then Jesse and the little girls and it was agreed by all, we would postpone celebrating Christmas until sometime in January.  Due to the lack of money and my lack of time to do the things I love to do with the little girls, it became a win/win plan.

We woke up Christmas/Sunday morning and got ready for church.  There were some things performed as a Christmas tribute at church and I took a few pictures.

   
                                                               Dancers performed.

                    
                                               There was a pantomime performed.

And our children were involved in a little skit/play.

Rissy and Adrienne sat on the floor in front of the puppet show and Annamarie was behind scenes holding the star – which, several times, moved up and down, to the left and the right, and even rested on the house itself!!!!!!  LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

               
That’s Rissy in the pink dress and Adrienne’s head over the girl with the striped dress.

We opened stockings for the 3 girls and 1 granddaughter, which contained Dollar Tree gifts.  I hadn’t even wrapped a gift MUCHLESS bought many to wrap.  The girls were given one gift that Jesse had picked up before and I had been able to wrap.  That was their one gift.  The rest of their gifts and a second stocking will be given at the end of January when we do our regular Christmas Day routine.  Stephanie and JanaLyn came over and we had a nice meal, but it was at the kitchen table with regular every day dishes. 

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The week after Christmas, I felt well enough to bake cookies.  It worked out really well because JanaLyn (granddaughter) spent the week with us while her mom worked.  I don’t know how many  cookies I made.   I doubled the batch from a HUGE recipe – one from a real baker, who had sold them in a real bakery!  They were PERFECT!!   I prebaked most of them and gave the girls canned frosting I had tinted with colors.  Each girl got one sheet of raw cut out cookies to decorate and THEN bake.

The cookies I had baked ahead of time was the way to go, and how I’ll do it in the future.  Less mess and no waiting for them to cool down before being touched.

We did a whole batch one day, and the next day my 3 and me decorated a second large batch.  JanaLyn had to go to her dad’s house.  She took a bunch of her cookies and some of my girls’ cookies to her dad’s.  There were STILL plenty of cookies for our house!

I became very creative  after the little girls had tired of decorating (can you believe anyone could ever get TIRED of decorating cookies?????!!!!!) and I made some giant snowmen. 

The brown frosting I had tinted didn’t look brown but more of an eggplant deep purple.  If I had it to do again, I would have used chocolate frosting.  I started with butter cream flavored frosting and didn’t care for the flavor.  I switched to fluffy white frosting and liked the taste better.

These cookies are all gone, and didn’t last until our January Christmas celebration.  I will probably make up a batch several times this winter (or ALL throughout the year, for that matter) and use standard shapes to cut them out and frost them.  No dye or colored sugars and messy things.  The recipe was superior and it was also made easy by baking them on (and rolling them out with) parchment paper.

I have almost all of my gifts purchased except for a few people.  I also bought extra stocking things from the dollar store, from the trip I made when purchasing the first time around.   We’ve also delighted in buying some thing grossly marked down from the After-Christmas sales.

We haven’t tired of the Christmas music channel (although they quit playing Christmas songs this week) and we are still enjoying reading poems and Christmas stories from my old issues of “Ideals” Christmas magazines.    The girls and I drink hot chocolate and read the magazines together or take turns.  The stories are great to hear on our cold January nights!

I finished wrapping the gifts we’ve bought and still need to  put ribbons and bows on them to make them pretty.  The girls have bought almost all of their gifts to each other (sisters give to sisters) and like I said, only a few lack gifts and have to buy something. 

We’re having an awesome time.  We have successfully drug out the celebrating season to a time frame that suits our family’s needs this year.  December 25th arrived here at a very bad time. 

Our calendar dictates when we are to celebrate the birth of our Savior – but no one has any idea of the actual day He was born.  So, why not changed celebrating to a better time??? – a time which all of us have enjoyed. 

We’ve been grateful for the lack of pressure and have enjoyed the traditions not ripping by us at break neck speed in a blur of red and green. 

We are all grateful (except Jesse – who wishes he could put the decoration boxes up in the attic for good!) that this season has been savored slowly.

While all of you friends post Valentine pictures and pictures of January snows, I’ll be posting pictures of our Christmas traditional dinner and gift openings. 

The girls got to decorate a ton of cookies – a big first for them this year; we have learned second (and even third) verses to Christmas songs; we’ve enjoyed the twinkling lights around the house; the scent of Christmas candles burning and Christmas tree smells coming from the oil burner; and the feeling of security in family, being in a warm house with enough food to eat while the outside temperatures drop; and what all of that really means to us.  GOD IS GOOD!!!

So, be looking forward to my white tablecloth Christmas dinner with candle light and red flowers and a bunch of gaily wrapped presents.  Who knows, if we wait until the end of January, it might even be a white Christmas for us!

Be Blessed  ~