I mentioned the queasy feeling to the radiology tech when I went for my radiation treatment, Friday afternoon.  They said diarrhea COULD happen because they are shooting radium in the "gut" area.   

By Friday night, I was rolling in pain.  NOTHING relieved the stabbing intestinal pains.  A sip  of water and one little bite of cracker were racing through my intestines AND IT HURT. 

I slept very little. 

On Saturday, I went back to bed when Jesse cooked some sausage for breakfast and I experienced "morning sickness" due to the smell.  

I stayed in bed all Saturday, and made the executive decision to put  away the lamb for our traditional Easter dinner.  We always talk about the lamb, Passover bread, etc. and read the story from Exodus, as well as New Testament Scriptures.   It will have to wait until I'm feeling better.  The girls were so disappointed. 

I couldn't see me reading the Bible to ANYONE. 
I couldn't see me cooking for ANYONE. 
And,
I couldn't see me being able to breathe the scent of ANY lamb or other greasy meat.

Jesse thought I was experiencing a reaction to the radiation.  

I prayed it was a stomach bug.  I wouldn't normally pray to have a stomach bug, but, since I have only half of my treatments under my belt, I sure didn't want this to be a reaction to the radiation!  At least if it was a stomach bug, I KNEW it would be GONE in a couple of days. 

Today I feel quite a bit better than I did a few days ago, and I will talk to the radiation people when I go to my treatment, today.

But, I'm still very weak, not quite right in my stomach, and not able to eat much.  I've stayed with the B.R.A.T. diet over the weekend.  Even those items hurt! 

Please pray for me to recover from these symptoms.  And please pray that I'm not experiencing radiation complications.  I have another 7 treatments to take    and I don't know if I can physically continue without prayer.

Think of me and pray as the Lord leads, as you go about your day!

Thank you!

and ~

Be Blessed  ~

I've gone to radiation each day this week. 

I saw the doctor on Tuesday.  According to him, I got EVERYTHING wrong the first time I met with him.  I was feeling really dumb.    

Jesse caught what was wrong - I didn't.

As much as I love my oncologist, I haven't had such happy feelings about the radiology doctors.  This new one included!  He's nice and all, just not in touch with the reality of my life.

I'm still recovering from my February hysterectomy.   That's the severe fatigue I experienced this past weekend.  Slept like the dead!  Really, REALLY sound asleep.

If you ask any doctor, they'll tell you, "If you are a "sleepy" tired, your body is telling you it needs rest.

The new radiology doctor has a different twist on resting during these radiation treatments.

He said the radiation fatigue is worse if you give into resting.  In other words, you become more and more tired the more you rest.  He said I should "fight the tiredness" and go for a mile walk, instead of resting when I'm tired.  Then he proceeded to list all of the exercising possibilities. 

Unfortunately, he didn't read my chart first, because most of his suggestions were on the "you shouldn't do" list for me and my back problems.

I must have looked glazed over as his suggestions droned on and on.  I understood I shouldn't sit around watching TV and doze in my recliner all day, but NO REST and "Just Walk It Off????" 

Then he named water aerobics and how I could do *that* every day. 

My husband and 3 girls were there with me in the exam room.  The doctor knows my daily routine with the children and the activities I do (a nap isn't usually part of my day).  At least, I've TOLD him my daily routine and activities at the first appointment.  I guess it didn't enter his mind  about the practicality of me going to a place each day to swim w/o the children.

I kind of shook my head as I focused on him again and said, "I am wondering about what pool I'd go to and what to do with my 3 children while I'm swimming." 

At that point he acknowledged that my 3 children were there with their HOME SCHOOL books!

If I started a sentence with, "So, basically you are saying . . . "  He would say "No," and tell me the opposite.

Jesse and I remained polite.  We smiled as he talked.  And, we quietly bid him good bye and walked to the parking lot.

We said nothing to each other as Jesse drove home.

Finally I broke the silence and said, "So, did I REALLY hear everything wrong, the first time I met him?"

Jesse snickered and said, "It's not you.  You didn't get all of the information wrong." 

That's when he told me to drop the subject and forget the conversation with the doctor.  He said the doctor had contradicted himself a couple of times, as we sat there listening to his instructions, today.

I guess he's a doctor who needs to be right, at the expense of me having a brain or the capability of understanding instructions and what's going on during my treatments. 

We laughed as we thought of the lunacy of me beginning to drift into an afternoon nap and then  bolting upright off the sofa or bed, fighting sleep, and shouting, "Who wants to go for a walk with me?"

Sure enough, I came home Tuesday, read, and dozed a bit before dinner.  Jesse was getting ready to ask Rissy to make something for dinner with the ground beef I was thawing, when I came to the kitchen (still VERY sleepy) and banged pots and pans around. 

Jesse said, "Babe?  You okay?"

Still VERY groggy I said, "Yeah.  C'mon Jesse, I have to walk around the block!"

Yeah!  Right! We had a good laugh and he said, "I bet if we asked the oncologist, she'd tell you to forget what the radiology oncologist said and rest if you need to!"

I know I'm slow sometimes, but I can't believe I could get EVERY SINGLE instruction wrong!  I'm not *that* bad!

Tuesday was warm and sunny.

Wednesday was cooler.

Today, Thursday, it's gray, chilly, and there is a dampness in the air.

They are expecting severe storms by the weekend.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oklahoma and spring!

My patio is beautiful.  My roses are in full  bloom.  The coral roses stand straight and tall in the middle of the cascading red roses, whose branches bend to kiss the ground.

Be Blessed  ~

    
                               (Due to a TOTAL lack of energy, I had to be creative!
                                       I decorated the table with her gifts!)

I hope all who are reading this have a good week ahead - getting chores done, but, also, taking the time to enjoy the little things God has created.

    
                           (Rissy taught granddaughter JanaLyn how to use her camera!)

My youngest sister (Nancy) and I talked, last night, about that very thing - taking time to enjoy things around us.  Yesterday morning, we lost our dear cousin to breast cancer.  She was diagnosed a year or more before I found out about my own breast cancer.  She was so cheerful and always thinking of others, right till the end.  Just one of those people who puts off energy and makes things happen - mainly keeping the family together and in touch with each other's lives.

We knew she had had Hospice services set up, but no one expected her last day to come so quickly.  And, that's what Nancy and I talked about, last night.  It's something I think about everyday.  Just because I have breast cancer doesn't mean I will die from it.  I might die from another disease, or I might die due to an accident. 

We just don't know.

As Nancy and I talked, I brought up all the things you can enjoy when you step outside your front door.  The many different colors of green in the leaves; the colors of flowers and butterflies, the intricacy of a spider spinning a web - and all of that can be in 1 square foot of space, right outside your front door!

There's a whole world, out there, that God created, and He made it to be beautiful and to be enjoyed.

The last letter I wrote to my cousin included this Bible verse:

Isaiah 40:12  Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance.

A "span" is a method of measurement, used in Biblical times.  A man's flat hand with spread fingers was a span.  "Heaven" is our solar system and all the unknown galaxies.

                     
                                           (Annamarie collects statues of cats.)

Now think about it,

GOD HOLDS *ALL* IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND!  I can't imagine His huge-ness!!!!  The whole planetary system in the palm of his one hand?!       Wow!

Yet, everything has a color, a smell, a texture . . .

I don't want to forget to notice the handiwork of God.  I want to *notice* and *appreciate* the beauty around me, even a square foot outside my front door!

    
                                  (That night, Luci and JanaLyn were inseparable!)

I'm not a good gardener.  In fact, I'm a HORRIBLE gardener. 

But, despite all of my neglected flower beds, the one outside my front door has a beautiful bush that looks like pine, but has soft, pliable needles.  It has various shades of green, as the new spring growth pops out of the ends of the branches.  There are tiny little berries on it, that change colors throughout the seasons. 

Then, there are the dead leaves under that bush - all slightly different from the other and all in different shades of grays and browns.

And there is fresh air outside my front door, too!

I would encourage everyone reading this to step outside and take a look at all of things you walk by each day and, probably, don't take time to notice.  And, YES . . . .   I have dust on my front door and porch lamp!  It just adds "texture" to what I see (not to mention a chore I can think about doing "someday") !!!!  LOL  !!!!   

We should love one another, but I also think we should love (and take notice of) all the beauty in the world that God created.  I'm always in a rush to get to the next chore or the next appointment and I need to slow down.

The greatest gift is that I don't have to search far and wide for God's beauty and handiwork.

I just have to step outside my front door!   

Be Blessed  ~

I'm not quitting, though!

Someday, I'll get pictures uploaded and share.

Annamarie has had a birthday and I've had my own!

I'm starting today with 14 rounds of radiation on my lower vertebrae and sacrum.  The cancer isn't huge and my tumor markers are lower than 3 months ago, but my lower back is extremely painful, ESPECIALLY the sacrum.

When I heard there was a "little cancer" there, I wanted to immediately kill it.  A snap judgment on my part.

However, when the radiology oncologist told me 90% of people have a reduction in pain and 50% have a result of NO pain (at all), after undergoing radiation in the sacrum, I was convinced to have the radiation done.

The appointment will last 2 minutes each day, and I won't even need to change into a gown. 

That's a lot of driving for 14 days to the OTHER side of town in my gas guzzling Suburban. 

But, if it makes the pain less . . .

I would appreciate everyone's prayers. 

They expect the only side effect to be fatigue.

I'm expecting a favorable response to treatments! 

Gotta run . . .

Be Blessed  ~

A place for everything

and,

everything in its place!

Be Blessed  ~