Anyway, I was in tears because of feeling uncomfortable (REALLY uncomfortable) and knowing I was supposed to get up early and start school, today.  It just wasn't happening like I had planned.  That's pretty much been this entire year . . . No matter what I plan, it doesn't end up happening.

===================

I made copies from a Sam's Club book (Comprehensive Curriculum 1st Grade) so that I had hand outs today.  It's a quick review in arithmetic and reading skills with a few puzzles included.

                                  
Annamarie will most likely need to use this book as the other children move onto to higher grade levels in the future.  That's the reason I made copies for all three girls - to keep this book from being marked.

I ordered (from Amazon) three story problem math books for Marissa.  She has a hard time with those and I think it is a skill she will need to use later in life.  After all, every time we apply math, it's because we are in the middle of a story (doubling a recipe, ordering tile for a floor or paint for a wall) and those pieces of information are what tells us how to solve the problem.  I'm trying to get Rissy to see how and when we use math.
                                 
                                      This book happens to be easy and the other girls can use it, also.

=======================

While I was in the radiation room, yesterday, two wonderful Bible Scriptures came to me while I was praying.  I vaguely knew where they were in the Bible, but not exactly; because, it has been many years since I've recalled or clung to those passages like I did yesterday.

1.  Be strong and of a good courage . . .   (Joshua 1:6)
2.  Only be thou strong and very courageous . . . (Joshua 1:7) 

The most amazing Scripture that filled my mind and spirit while I laid under that radiating beam was:

1.  When thou passes through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee:  when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.  (ISAIAH 43:2)

I heard those last words over and over in my spirit:  "When thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."  I don't want them to burn my body or my skin with the radiation beams and I will hold fast to that passage as I ask God to protect me.

Amazingly, I told those passages to Jesse when I got in the car (after treatment) and said I thought they were in "Joel" and Isaiah.  He wasn't sure if those sentences were even *in* the Bible!  I just KNEW they were there, somewhere.  I arrived home and grabbed my Bible and opened it.  I opened it right to Joshua and there was the passage I had thought was in Joel.  THANK YOU GOD!!!!!   I had to use the concordance to find WHERE in Isaiah the passage about not being burned was loacted.  I thought it was in the 40's and must have skipped over it when thumbing through my Bible.

My sense of peace is back, even if that full feeling last night was the "full feeling" they warned me about.  I will see the radiology doctor today after my treatment.  I can ask her my questions when I'm there.  I see her once a week.  Three treatments down, twelve more to go.

=======================

I will be handing out new school books.  Rissy has to finish last year's spelling and language books.  We worked on one more chapter in spelling last week.  I'll test her on those words today.

Am I really up for this?????  I'll let you know at the end of this week!  We HAVE to start school early enough to have time for me to bathe and dress and all of us eat lunch, before we go to my afternoon radiation appointment each day.  That's a lot of activity for me.  I'm not like I used to be - no flitting around the house for me, anymore!

I'm still moving slowly and get winded easily.  Then, that brings on the dizziness and nausea.  I have to be careful.  We looked at Lowe's yesterday (for appliances) and, although we were there a very short time (and I held onto a cart), I was history.   

Please pray for my strength to continue to stay at the same level and not get worse with each radiation treatment.

Be Blessed  ~

It may not be fall when I look at the green lawns and trees. 

And, it may not be fall considering my children spent the past few days in the pool and in their bathing suits, jumping on the backyard trampoline.

But . . .

I'm ready for fall, just the same. 

I consulted the calendar and was pleased to find fall's arrival is officially only a couple of weeks from today. 

I'm ready!

===================

I got out my fall silk flowers and leaves and set about changing the temperature of the house INSIDE.  Well, not the temperature, but the "feeling" of the temperature!  LOL!

I started by redoing the foyer's marble chest top.
   
LOL!!!  My cats have a way of butting into every picture!  I DID change the flowers in the vase from purple irises & green ivy to dried flowers & grasses.  But, I did NOT decorate the marble chest with cats!

      
This looks like my front flower bed!!  Finally, the dead flowers are in season.  I knew if I waited long enough . . .

To the "dead flower" look, I added my fall bear.
          
Technically, this little bear is probably meant to be used at Thanksgiving.  But, if anyone can stretch a season and make a decorating theme last longer than anyone else . . . . I can do it! 

In mid-October, I will bring out more gourds and pumpkins along with orange, brown, and red leaves.  For now - it's dead flowers and my "fall" bear!

==================

I wasn't ready to cast away my white flower arrangement that I made for the dining room table, this summer.  I have some deep purple flowers that I will use later.  For now, it's the white flowers in the square vase.  BUT, to make it look more like fall, I used dried grape vines with purple, olive green, and russet leaves.  The purple leaves look good against the accent wall in the dining room - a dark eggplant purple.  I added a few pillar candles. 

I've had all of these things (the silk flowers and leaves, candles, and bear) for more than 5 years.  I always store them carefully so I don't have to spend more money each year.
  This grapevine used to be a six foot long strand of twisted twigs, vines, and leaves.  I cut these small pieces from the orginal vine to wrap them around the base of the candles, etc.

================

Slowly, as money allows, I'm making small touches in the den to change it from gold and barn door red, to more accents with black and chocolate brown.  We have two lamps made of black metal (Wal-Mart).  A round end table has a dark wood base and dark metal scroll work under the glass top.  I've bought a few things for the fireplace mantle and I've been slowly collecting Wal-Mart's cheapest pillows in black and chocolate brown.  It's beginning to shape up.
  
I found a bouquet of burnt red roses (from about 15 years ago!!!) that blend with the den's red walls.  I added those to the mantle, along with the same kind of candles on the dining room table.

And here is my pillow find from Wal-Mart.
                         
The wall isn't as BRIGHT RED as it looks, and only two walls are red.  I still want to paint the smaller walls (that are probably the original color from 1990 - a cream mixed with soot from our fireplace!!!) a pale gold.  For now, this is it!!!

=================

Jesse called me from Lowe's yesterday.  They were having a sale on their washers and dryers AND there was no finance charge, interest, or payments for 12 months.  That's the only way we charge things - when we can pay them off gradually and it only will cost the price of what we purchased.  We had a second set (washer and dryer) in the garage that he had picked up for really cheap.  Good thing.  While JoAnn was here, our dryer quit drying and the washer has sounded and looked bad for a year.  Our dryer is probably 8-9 years old and the washer is 5 years old.  Considering I use both every day of the week, doing at least 3 loads a day, I'd say we've gotten our money's worth!  The sets at Lowe's (we also looked online at Home Depot) were sure tempting.  But, we had no peace about spending that kind of money right now.

Good thing we didn't.

To help usher in the fall feel in our house, I mixed up a batch of bran muffins this morning.  I was preheating the oven and opened the door to check the thermostat (the accuracy of the oven and pre-heat beeper) quit working 2 years ago.  The oven was stone cold.  OH, NOOOOOO!!!!!!  The oven did the same thing 3 months after we bought it.  It was still under warranty and the repairman told us the part was expensive (good thing we had a warranty) and the stove wasn't meant to last long.  They WANT you to keep buying new appliances.

So much for the muffins.  I don't know my neighbors well enough to ask if they'd mind baking them for me!!!!!  Looks like we will be shopping for something other than a washer and dryer, if the stove can't be repaired or can't be repaired cheaply.  The second dryer we are using is throwing occasional oil on our clothes.  So far it's only been on my underwear and Jesse's work shirts.  If the dryer isn't replaced soon, I'll be sure to drip dry (on hangers)  the girls and my solid color dresses!  We still have that second washing machine in the garage if the one I'm using quits.

Speaking of the kitchen and appliances . . .

                                       
My kitchen table is also ready for fall.  I need a few more rocks in the bottom of this vase and it will be done.

Be Blessed  ~

September 5th, Saturday, was Chirper's birthday.  He was only supposed to live 2 weeks and is now here (alive and well) celebrating being 2 years old!  I don't know how much *he* celebrated, but we were happy for him!
        
I was feeling silly, so I texted Auntie JoJo to remind her it was his birthday!  She called back, immediately!

I guess we are an animal loving type of family!

===================

                                          Is this piranha fish or girls?  Hard to tell, isn't it?!!
                               

Jesse had to cut down some trees (ours and a friend's trees) on Saturday.  His *other* friend and helper, Camilo, had been storing the trampoline until he was able to come to our house.  Jesse bought it and when he went to pick it up, he realized his covered trailer wasn't tall enough to hold it.  He was able to put it in his pick up bed and drive 1 mile to Camilo's house.  When Camilo came by on Saturday to help Jesse, he brought the trampoline AND his dog (a blue heeler) to play with Sushi.  Sushi acts like she'd love to jump on the new trampoline with the girls, but, she loved (even more) having a dog friend to play with on Saturday!  I'm sorry I didn't take pictures of Camilo's dog, Loba.  She and Sushi ran and ran the length of the yard all afternoon!

==================

          
                                                   Annamarie - as dark as her dad!!!  What a tan!

The trampoline has proven to be an excellent "playground" for the girls.  Annamarie cracks me up.  She went outside this morning (as soon as I'd let her) and jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped . . .   I guess it's like the beds we were never allowed to jump on, inside!  But, I remember (as a child) jumping on a bed *anyway* and thinking it was the neatest feeling in the whole world. 

I didn't know it was considered good exercise, too!!!

Luci is the youngest and usually the most fearful; but, she really got some height in her jumping, when she finally learned to trust the spings and let loose with her best turbo boost!
                      
                              See the drops of water flying from her hair?!!

==================

At any rate, we don't have to worry about cooking today.  We have lots of scrumptious leftovers and side items (like rice and pinto beans) to allow us to enjoy a lazy day.  Jesse came home a minute ago from taking his truck to get a nail removed from one of his tires.  He never made it to the tire place.  He stopped by the friend's house (3 streets north of us) where he cut the tree down Saturday.  Another friend stopped by and the 3 guys talked and talked!  And they say *women* talk!!!  Anyway, he came home, quickly ate some fajita leftovers, and he's gone again - trying to get that tire fixed! 

Despite him being off work, we still don't see much of him.  He likes to be on the go all the time.  I'm a homebody.  ESPECIALLY so with the side effects I'm still feeling from the chemo treatments.  I get winded easily and sometimes very hot and nauseated.  Some of it is probably the hormone supressant pill they are giving me.  I'll either have to suffer for years, or my body will get used to it and I won't have as many problems.  Either way, I *HAVE TO* take the hormone pills.

==================

                                     
                                    aaaaaaaand, three down!!!

======================

Yesterday, I relaxed on my bed with a book, "What Your Second Grader Needs to Know," marking out lesson plans and adding a few notes in the margins of the fine arts section.  The book went into "introductory only" depth about lines, open and closed form, shadows, and light.  I thought it would be a great introduction to an art class for the girls and they could mess around with tempura paint (yes, I'm brave!) as budding artists playing with light and shadows.  Then I thought, they could use Play Doh when it came time to sculpting buildings, etc.

=====================

Today, I have done some laundry (Rissy's hamper and the king bed sheets from the other girls room) and our dishwasher is empty.  All we have to do is make a mess with plates and stick them in the dishwasher!  AND, all of the clothes hampers are almost empty.  This is a monumental day in our household!!!

                               
                                 The sun was too bright for Rissy!

===================

It feels like a weekend and I'm lovin' it!  That means only a four day week.  We will start our homeschool back up on Wednesday.  I think I'll have to keep my planner notes differently, this year.  Instead of actually "planning" lessons, I'll have to record how far we were able to go, each day.  I'm not sure, from one day to the next, how much energy I'll have or if I'll have a tough time with nausea, etc. . . . so, I think recording what we have accomplished on a given day, and working on Saturday's, if necessary, will be how we start out this school year.

      
          It's a good thing Annamarie was holding Rissy's arm!!!  We almost ended up with one less child!!!! 
                                   If she jumps too high and you see her floating over your city,
                                               would you please contact me???   LOL!!!!!!!

Be Blessed  ~

First of all . . . remember how I felt really down about receiving radiation?  The fact is, I have enough of a medical background to know exactly what they are doing.  It seems all wrong.  Barbaric. 

I think, in the future, people will look back on this old disease they called "cancer" and people will shake their heads and say in amazement, "Read this!  Remember that disease that used to kill people - they called it cancer???  Well look at what they used to do to treat it.  They used to fill people with poison through a tube in their arm (or a thing called a port in their chest) and then, after months of filling them with poison, they burned them from the inside-out with something called radiation!  Can you imagine?!"  And everyone listening will chuckle about the old days and the bizarre ways the people back then (in 2009) treated an ancient disease.

I have no answers about cancer.  They gave me my first radiation therapy yesterday.  They were running unusually late and I had a 45 minute wait in a gown made to act as a shirt, but one with no armholes.  It just had flaps and revealed your entire rib cage and every bit of your front and back anatomy, if you didn't hold the flaps down.  I had taken a nausea pill, which made me thirsty.  I sipped my bottle of water while waiting.  When they finally called me, they said this first time would be longer because they needed to do some x-rays first.  Radiation AND radiation???  Whatever.  I said I thought I should go to the restroom quickly and was gone no longer than 60 seconds.  They took the lady behind me instead of waiting for me.  So, I waited another 5 minutes . . .

After the treatment, while I was still on the table, they grinned at me and asked if I had been told about "the tatoo" they did.  Of course, I had no idea what they meant and figured a sticker to mark a spot.  They said it would be permanent (a sticker???) and then stuck me under my left arm.  It burned.  They were talking a REAL LIVE tatoo!!!!  I must have looked at the nurse like she had grown a second head because she said, "Don't worry.  It's the size of a freckle," and then stuck another needle in my chest bone area! 

The other nurse was talking and I heard her say, "Is that clear and do you have any questions?"

I gasped, "I'm trying to listen to you, but she (I pointed to the first nurse) is hurting me."  I was stuck again in my right side.  Thank you LORD . . . *that* was over.  Why do people have tatoos done on purpose?  The needle and dye hurts a whole lot more than when they draw blood in the lab!

Anyway, I waited because the oncology nurse wanted to see me because of my severe dizziness and nausea.  They agreed to change my prescription and loaded me up with the digestive aid pills because everyone on the radiation side of the building kept stressing that dry heaves, nausea, and dizziness needed to be addressed NOW before the radiation therapy made them worse. 

I thought this wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal.

The radiation nurses said this was the last time they would draw on me with permanent marker ink.  And (like this was a special treat from them), I would be able to look at the squares they drew and see exactly what area had been treated with radiation.  I almost fainted when I looked in the mirror and saw their "squares" were actually "rectangles" and the width of the rectangles were as wide as my wrist.  They started from T-1 (about an inch below your collar bone) to the bottom of my last rib, with only a small clear space in between.  They also informed me that was the area on the front side of me AND the back side of me that would be treated and I needed to start moisturizing those areas immediately.

I'm still not happy about this and only doing it because it's the best our medical field has to offer me in 2009.

======================

If I wasn't so nauseated, I'd drown myself in chocolate!

My sweet brother (2 years younger than me) sent me a surprise.  What in the world?  A box of milk chocolates!
 
I love See's candy - especially milk chocolate!  What a dear brother.  I take back every mean thing I said or thought about you when we were younger!! xoxoxoxoxo   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And remember the flood on the kitchen floor yesterday?  We went to the kitchen to eat lunch and the puddle was there again, but not as big.  Big enough, but not as big as the first one I found.  I was so fearful a pipe had burst.  I had to think logically before I realized there were no pipes in that area of the house.  Then I looked again, but more carefully, at our new jugs of water the girls had brought into the house.

This is what I found.
            
My assessment of it being about a gallon of water was fairly accurate!

I don't know which child did this, but I bet that child will be more careful in the future when carrying in water!

I'm waiting for Jesse to come home.  I need to go for my second radiation treatment this afternoon.  I guess we'll have to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up my new prescription and maybe some milk, etc.  There aren't many things on the grocery list.  I'd love to pick out a different type of meat besides chicken breasts and ground beef or ground turkey.  Nothing sounds good, but the idea of a variety and having a choice sounds VERY good.

I made some cinnmaon rolls for breakfast.  Luci is feeling better and ate, and . . . well . . . I ate them.  I *was* able to taste them but not my ham sandwich at lunch.  Just another "blah" meal.
 

Better run!

Be Blessed  ~

I am struggling to get my girls ready AND myself.  I have an early afternoon appointment for my first radiation and the girls have their appointment with their therapist.

I felt dizzy again yesterday, VERY nauseous, and had dry heaves.  Jesse said he thought it might be from my dietary change.  I've always been used to meat (and I DO have low blood sugar problems) and he thinks my body is used to *more meat* than it's getting.  I'm eating much smaller portions of meat and need to replace it with cheese, eggs, or nuts.  Of course, we need to BUY cheese and nuts before I can add those things to my diet . . . . 

We have already had a spill (or leak) the size of Hoover dam, this morning!  We keep gallon jugs of bottled water on the floor by the table.  It looked like one had sprung a leak, but all of the bottles were full.  No child remembered spilling a huge glass (or jug) of water - and, no evidence was found in the trash can . . . (scratching my head!).  Fortunately, the spillage was in the kitchen, on the tile floor, and proved to be useful.  As my rag mop filled up with the water from the floor (at *least* a gallon), I was able to spray some 409 on the dirty spots and used the wet mop to mop up the soiled places in the kitchen. 

What's that they say?  "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?"  LOL! 

My Oklahoma SIL (the nurse) called me, again, yesterday afternoon and gave me a good medical education of radiation treatments and medicines that abate side effects.  We went on to talk about other things  (we talked for HOURS!!!) and it was a wonderful time - getting to know her better, and all.  I can't remember the last time I stayed on the phone for "HOURS" and it was a special amount of time for me to talk without feeling pressured to do other things.  I was in bed trying to stop the dizziness, anyway.

Today's To Do List:
*  Take a bath (with Rissy in my bedroom in case I slip)
*  Remember to NOT put lotion on my chest or back (at least I can BATHE!!!!)
*  Find something with protein for lunch, so I don't get sick while I'm gone
*  Go to my appointment & wait while the girls finish their appointment
*  Address the "What to eat for dinner?" issue
*  Pick up some over the counter pills (Prilosec or Zantac) for my impending gastric problems 

Luci said she still doesn't feel well this morning and I have to be careful what food I serve - for her sake and my own.

Please pray for me while I undergo these radiation treatments.  The whole thing makes me feel uneasy - I don't know why, but it does.

Be Blessed  ~

The scourge has hit our home, again!

Luci was standing in the den this morning and I was at my desk.  Annamarie was seated in the den and said, "Oh no, Mom!  Luci just threw up!"

I'm wondering . . . At what age do they run for the bathroom instead of standing on white carpeting and letting happen whatever is going to happen?  Somehow, I felt sure, by age seven, the vomiting accidents would have stopped.

Luci was sent to her bed with saltines and ginger ale, and I cleaned the girls' bathroom, in case the crackers and soda decided to come back up.

       
                                   She doesn't look like she feels very bad, does she?  LOL!!!

=====================

I was telling Jesse this morning, I had an emotional "episode" yesterday evening.  I don't know why (or where) it all started, but I found myself crying.  I had not taken pain pills yesterday (I forgot) and had been on my feet and sitting upright for much of the afternoon.  Naturally, my upper back ached and I had come home from the radiation appointment to lie on the bed while I waited for dinner to cook. 

That's when the tears and negative thoughts came. 

Like a flood.

It's the first time I have cried because of my emotions.  I cried several times because of the pain (horrible pain) but this is the first time I felt sorry for myself.

They didn't do any radiation yesterday.  They did the CT scan and marked me with clear stickers and Magic Marker pens and told me not to bathe before Thursday.     It will take 48 hours for the "specialist" to analyze the best places on my spine to treat me.  They said I could expect the radiation to be above and below the damaged vertebrae areas.

I was told I WOULD experience a swollen feeling in my throat and abdomen because of the placement of vertebrae being treated.  I asked if it was a "feeling" of constriction and fullness or if my throat and stomach were "really" swollen.  She said the areas would *really, truly* be swollen.  So, there's no mind over matter I can use to make myself eat.  I'm having to do that, already.  I forced my meals down yesterday - I'm just not hungry.  If I *am* hungry, I get full half way through my small plate of food.  Luci (a small eater) probably eats more than me, right now.

The nurse said my duration (3 weeks) of radiation was one of the the shorter treatments they give, and my fatigue shouldn't be much more than I have now.  Basically, I won't feel myself gaining any more strength until a month after radiation stops.  I use the word "strength" with my tongue in my cheek.  I'm stronger than I was, but you certainly couldn't call me strong right now!

They gave me explicit instructions for skin care because the of drying effect radiation will cause.  They will be hitting me from the front and the back of my spine.  So, I might expect a sunburn, dry skin (it is dry naturally, but this will be much worse), and pain on both sides (front & back) of the trunk of my body. 

I was told to starrt taking the medicine I used to take for acid reflux (the one I took while undergoing chemo) and to start it immediately BEFORE the radiation caused gastric problems. 

I was given instructions to NOT take any more warm baths (I do that to relax my back and help the neuropathy in my left leg) AND . . .  I can not use my heating pad.  I guess I'm glad she told me that, because I don't know that I would have drawn a parallel to my bath causing my burned skin spots any harm.  Two of the few enjoyable things I have is my leisurely bath and the heating pad on my back after a day of being on my feet.  She said it was just for a short time in my life and soon, in two months, it would all be over with. 

TWO MONTHS feels incredibly long after all I've been through.

I'm tired of being poked, prodded, made uncomfortable . . .

I know *I should* count everything I HAVE, but yesterday was another day  (in my mind) of more that was being taken away from me.  That's pretty much how it's been for six months.  I can do so little, including use my own brain.  I feel like a bumbling idiot.  Inside I feel vibrant, but my body and brain are no where near the same place as my "vibrant feelings" inside my head!!!!

====================

I'm sharing this because I want anyone who is going through cancer treatment to know that they are not alone.  My good attitude through half a year of being poked, prodded, made sick, and made to hurt has been through the grace of God and only Him.  I am a human being with feelings and emotions and I have had to battle those negative things just like anyone else would have to battle them. 

Plus . . . IF I write a book, this all needs to be recorded somewhere.  My blog site is my source for notes for any future writing I may do.

===================

I wanted to share my feelings of self-pity yesterday afternoon, but I didn't know who to call.  I didn't want to call JoAnn and make her feel guilty for going home.  I was afraid that if I called my friend Lori K, I would begin to weep the minute she spoke (then she would think the worst had happened to me).  A long time friend has put me in touch with a lady from her church, who went through all of this a few years ago.  I thought, if I could pull myself together and stop crying, I would call her and unload.

Instead, I called on God.  I prayed from the lowest place in my heart that He would comfort me and bring the right person to me, *IF* He wanted another person in my life.  Guess who was on the phone last night?  My sister-in-law (here in this state) who is a nurse and used to specialize in oncology.  She talked to me for 20 -30 minutes and made me feel so much better.  She reassured me about my medical treatment and medications and she validated my emotional state of self-pity . . . now THAT'S a friend!!!

I slept well last night and feel so much better today.  Nothing has changed. 

I'm still going to have to forego taking a regular bath (for quick baths in shallow tepid water) and using whatever unscented (etc.) products they tell me to use.  I'm guessing by the end of October . . . . 

==============================

               
Jesse took Rissy to the pediatrician this morning.  This appointment is to see what the ped. thinks about all of the recent conflicting theories and treatments for Rissy's legs and back.  I'm at the point where I have no questions.  I don't know what to think, anymore.

This pediatrician has seen Rissy since she was about 12 weeks old.  She is the one who has followed her progress for all of these years AND who recommended she be seen by a neurologist and orthopedic surgeon.  I'll be curious to hear her take on all the new info.

==================

Today will be the day I bake banana bread, clean up my desk, and give the girls some worksheets I copied from a book.  I'm hoping to get them back into the mode of learning before we start school next Wednesday or Thursday.

Be Blessed  ~

I had trouble with dizziness & nausea last night WHILE I LAID DOWN!!!!  Sometimes I think a good chiropractor is what I need.  With the damage in my thoracic spine from cancer, I doubt anyone would dare touch my neck or my back! 

Late last night, I watched HGTV for hours, trying to make myself sleepy.  I WAS sleepy, yet couldn't fall asleep.  My bed spun around like a ride at the fair and my dinner was looking for an escape. 

*BUT*, I always find something to be glad about!!!  . . . after hours of watching TV last night, I've learned how to 1) refurbish an old house and bring wiring up to code,  2) how to buy a house for the first time (even though I'm living in my third house!), 3) what to look for if buying a loft-style condo (of which I have *NO* interest), and 4) I learned that butter cream frosting melts at room temperature and won't hold the fondant icing that is applied on top of it (in case I'm ever in a cake decorating competition) . . .     How much of that information will I be able to apply to my REAL life?  Probably none of it!!!

I tried sleeping on my back with no pillow (thinking it would relax my neck) and it really didn't help.  Then, I sat on the edge of the bed (for what seemed forever) with my throw up basin . . . thankfully, I never needed it!  Then, I cried a bit because I felt lousy and wanted my mommy.  I guess, no matter how old we become, a person always wants their mommy at certain times in their life - that's if you've had a mommy to comfort you as a child. 

I can tolerate a great deal of things, but I draw the line at fevers and nausea & vomiting.  I crumble under the pressure, every single time.  I prayed last night.  I would have listened to my P&W music, but my headphones no longer work with the boom box, and I didn't want to wake up my sleeping family.

So, I slept until 9:45am today - until the voices of arguing children forced me from bed.  I don't even know what they were arguing about, because it stopped, immediately, when they heard me pulling the sheet & blanket from my body!!!

======================

                                   
Luci, Rissy, and I enjoyed some sweet cantaloupe for breakfast this morning.  It's one of the few things I can taste.  Rissy made meatloaf, shells & cheese, and seasoned green beans for dinner last night.  I had made a peach pie for dessert.  She did most of it without my help.  I could taste the ketchup on the meatloaf, occasionally the green bean flavor, and the lard in the pie crust.  I served myself small portions and had to force the second half of my plate down:  due to lack of interest!  I don't know how I'll eat if the radiation side effects really cause a lumpy feeling in my throat and the top of my stomach.  I already feel apathetic toward food  -  not a good way to start out radiation therapy!

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Jesse called this morning to remind me that we had to go to the radiation appointment early this first time.  I'm glad he called.  I don't remember them saying that, at all.  I don't remember much of what ANYONE says, these days.  I DO remember how Jesse used to never remember anything, and I used to think for both of us.  He claims he hasn't improved since I became ill.  That's a scary thought to contemplate, isn't it???  !!!!!!!!

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I finally finished my book - the one I've been posting here at the beginning of my blogs for the past 92 million days!!!!  It was the second book in a series.  Imagine my joy when I discovered the next book to read on my shelf was a third book in the same series!!!!  Yes, I file books in order of sequence (and by author) on my bookshelves.  One of my many quirks.  BUT . . . (!!!)  I don't arrange my spices alphabetically!!! 

I DO arrange them in order of their nationality.  Italian stuff sits together, Mexican stuff sits together, American (Thanksgiving???) spices are together, and DESSERT (a nationality all its own!!!!) spices and flavors sit together on my round, Rubbermaid turntables in the cabinet. 

Groupings of nationalities make more sense to me than alphabetizing my spices.

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Beside the appointment for myself this afternoon, I have a definite urgent assignment to accomplish:  Clean the top of my desk!

It was tidy seven, or so, days ago.  But, somewhere in between then and now, it exploded!  I think part of the problem is my ChorePack book and its clutter of attachments.  I'm afraid if I put any of it away, the ChorePack idea will soon diminish, fade away, and disappear!!!  And we don't want THAT to happen!!! 

The fact is, *I* need a ChorePack for these types of chores (the desk) that need to be done, but are forgotten until they present themselves in front of my face, again.  I don't see this desk mess until I sit down at my desk, and look for the mouse!!!  It is truly amazing that our visual minds are able to block such a horrifically, traumatic sight!
                                     
                                    That's a bowl of cantaloupe in the center over my keyboard.  Yum!

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So, with an appointment today in my not too distant future, a messy desk to clean, and nothing thawing for dinner tonight, why am I sitting here? 

I know what I really want to do . . .

       
follow Stormy's example!!!!!

I need to borrow Martha Stewart for a day!

Be Blessed  ~