August 22, 2009

• What's REALLY Important?

  What *IS* the most important stuff in my life?  I mean AFTER God, my family . . .  What is REALLY the most important?

  I did too much, yesterday.  It didn't feel like it was too much at the time, but once my back started complaining, it was too late to do anything about it.  I had sat up for too long and had done (I guess) too many light chores.

  What light chores?

  1)  I finished RIssy's laundry (2 loads) that Jesse had started - but I DID NOT finish Annamarie's or start mine.
  2)  I cleaned the kitchen bar and stove off with 409.  I left the heavy pans on the stove top, for someone else to bend down & reach high to put away.
  3)  I partially cleared off the top of my desk.
  4)  I cleared off the beds in the guest room - things that JoAnn wants mailed to her.
  5)  I cleaned the round glass table top (end table) in the den.
  6)  Rissy fixed dinner, I started the rice in the rice cooker and opened a few cans of tomatoes for her.  She did the rest; and, it was good, too!

  I was in so much pain last night that I couldn't fall asleep until nearly 2am.  I took my new 12 hour time released pain pill and then had to take Percocet an hour later and two hours later Morphine (all within the instructions the doctor gave me).  Finally I tried the heating pad.  Chirper loved it, but my back didn't seem to care one way or the other.

                                 
                                                          My hair is starting to grow back. 
                                             Like a 5 o'clock shadow beard on a man's face.
                                                      Except it's white, white, WHITE hair!

  I really want to save my strength for the things that are important and not fuss over the small stuff.  One of the girls could have cleaned the glass end table.  I don't know that any of the other things could have been assigned to a child.  I cleared off JoAnn's things from the beds so the dog didn't tear up her stuff.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have thought that was important.  AND, "cleaning" means I moved her things to the top of the dresser in the guest room and put away the extra pillows she had used.  Not exactly "hard" work.

  It's entirely possible that sitting upright for half a day is too much for my back muscles right now.  The doctor said we would have to wait to see what is muscle pain and what is pain from the damaged vertebrae.  She also said if a woman had been younger than me and running 2 miles every day, the chemo beats people down so far that it would take that woman at least 6 months to regain her full energy.  Since I'm older and not a fitness nut (I just run around the house and chase after children!!!), she said it would easily take a year to regain my energy, AND I may never fully regain the same energy I used to have.

  So, I ask myself, "Did I do too much yesterday?"  I laid on my bed most of the afternoon reading and watching the evening news.  "Was there any chore I could have left undone yesterday?"  Yes, Jesse could have finished the laundry, but he works so hard all day - I hate to leave that for him, too.

                              
                                       My skin is as white as can be and my scalp even MORE white.                                                    I have no eyebrows and no eye lashes!
                                                And my tiny nose looks HUGE in this picture!
  
  My back muscles felt weak this morning (like they had been overworked) and then, out of no where, I became very nauseous and threw up.  I would say it was caused by taking medicine on an empty stomach, but I only took the normal things I've taken every morning on an empty stomach for the past 2 years.  Do I have a stomach bug?  It doesn't feel like it - no stomach cramps.  Just the dry heaves like I had a couple of weeks ago when I spent the night in the hospital's ER.  The stomach spasms have never really gone away.  I'm just surprised that I threw up, something I rarely, RARELY ever do.

  I wish I had a list of approved and unapproved chores I can safely do.  I wish there were more obvious lines drawn around acceptable work and unacceptable work while I recover.  Instead, I have to rely on myself and my own strength (or lack of it).  I'm trying to be sensitive to my body, especially when it tells me to lie down.  I'm either very dense or my body isn't giving me any warning before the horrible back pain sets in my back.

  I think I'll finish laundry today, because I can lie down in between loads.  It may be the day to pull out the CrockPot for tonight's dinner.  Rissy said she would love to learn how to use it - of course she'll love it.  She loves EVERYTHING to do with cooking!

                          
                                   I've lost weight, I'm white as a sheet, and I have no facial hair,
                                                             BUT . . . I'm still smiling!

  Jesse has to work today, but he has two friends helping him.  He probably won't be home until dinner, which means I really need to NOT do anything stupid while he's gone.  My bed?  Reading?  Planning my ChorePacks?  It doesn't sound like an exciting day, but I probably need to get used to not flitting around the house all day, touching this and cleaning that!

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 11:25 am
  • 16 Comments