I'm in love with my children!  They have been such good helpers!!!

AND . . . I'm in love with our new ChorePacks!!!!!  Yes!   The little idea I implemented last week (that I thought, at first, would NEVER be successful) has been HUGELY successful.    

Jesse offered to take the girls with him Saturday morning when they first awakened.  They grabbed their ChorePacks, without being asked, and were off to quickly get ready.  The ChorePacks keep them from forgetting what they need to do at the beginning of each day.  They've been a wonderful tool to help teach them their morning routine!

My next step will be to add a few chores this week, besides the ones they already have listed to do in the morning.  What they have right now is the basics:  eat breakfast, take your vitamins & prescription pills, clean up your kitchen mess, brush your teeth, get dressed, pick up your room . . .  the simplest of things that the can't seem to accomplish without being reminded.  It has worked!  And, after only one week!  I LOVE not having to remind three girls (at three different times) to brush their teeth!  THEN, I don't have to remind three girls (at three different times) to take their vitamins!  NEXT, I don't have to remind three girls (at three different times) to make the bed.  I feel like I've lost 6 children!!!!  All the repeating of the same stuff over and over to each child was so hard on me!

I'm not sure what to implement next.  Maybe something they can do before dad comes home . . . before dinner.  I'm thinking of a quick once over of the house; things like pick up their rooms, make sure waste baskets have trash IN them and not AROUND them (nothing stays *in* our waste baskets!!! - maybe it's because of our "bad dog, Sushi"!!!), and little things, like: make sure toothpaste and spit are washed DOWN the sink's drain and not stuck to the sides of the sink!!!

                               
                                                         AFTER finishing their ChorePacks.
                                          Annamarie and Luci are proud of their clean bedroom!

If you could have seen the closet shelves prior to this picture, you'd be grinning, too!

I'm feeling better this week.  Still have a hoarse voice, but at least I have a voice!!!  My fever quit after Saturday night.  Yesterday, I read in my book.  It seems like it has taken me forever to read the book I've been posting, but the truth is that I haven't really been reading it.  It just sits on my nightstand!

This is a busy week.  Today the girls go to the dentist.  Tomorrow is my first radiation appointment (which will be every M-F for 3 weeks straight) and this first appointment will take longer than the subsequent appointments.  Wednesday, Rissy will go back to the pediatrician, who will "analyze" her neurologist and orthopedic doctors' findings.  Thursday is their new day to go for therapy. 

Their therapist, Julie, has been such a good person for them to have while I went through all of this illness stuff this past spring and summer.  They had my rules, their dad's rules (which are sometimes less strict than mine), JoAnn's rules, and Stephanie's rules when they stayed at her house each week for a few days.  That's a lot of rules to keep straight in a child's head!  Julie has been there when Rissy needed someone to talk with "privately" - something I wasn't able to do for her while I was at my sickest.  Julie has helped ALL of them, encouraged them, and prayed with them.  She helped them make get well cards for me.  She even called me at home to tell me she was praying or thinking about me!  A pretty good person to have around - hands down!

I'm so glad I'm on the mend from this cold/whatever bug I had last week.  I will have to be careful not to do too much as I start back into the household routine again.

ChorePacks????  Where are you?????!!!!!!!!!!

Be Blessed  ~

===================

I'm trying hard to keep the front of the house (what we call the formal living room and formal dining room) clean, so when someone walks in the front door there aren't "things" all over the place.  Do you know what I'm mean by "things"???  Those pieces of paper and odd items that find their way onto the carpet and furniture.  Probably, most of it, brought in by the dog.  I think she makes rounds in the waste baskets several  times a day and pulls "treasures" out and then leaves them all over the house!

============================

Jesse is working this morning but will be home around noon.  The girls have their therapy appointment today.  It will be on a different day, starting next month.  He leaves every morning before I wake up and gets home when I'm winding down.  He comes home, takes a shower, eats a little something, and is asleep before me.  But, I do get to see him breathing next to me in bed!!!  At least he's home!!!  LOL!!!

============================

Everyone had cavities at the dentist's office the other day and Luci has to go back again on Monday so they can finish filling the rest of her teeth.  Jesse and I really question this place.  It's like a cattle call where they rush you in and out - like a mass production factory of amalgam and Novocaine.  Since my girls brush their teeth regularly, I question all of these cavities they find and fill, and I wonder if it's a way for them to make money.  Especially when they fill baby teeth that will soon fall out, anyway.  Someone was in the middle of talking to Jesse about Rissy's mouth (and bite) and left when called to another room, but never came back to Jesse.  The guy left in the middle of a sentence, I might add!!!!!

Annamarie had two loose teeth that were bothering her and wouldn't fall out.  One on the top left and one on the bottom right.  I sent a note specifically stating the teeth that were causing her problems.  She came home and told me it really hurt when they pulled the tooth on the left and she showed me her lower gum line and said she thought they pulled the wrong tooth.  She was right.  They did!!! 

They called today to confirm Luci's appointment on Monday and I told them about Annamarie.  They pulled her file and argued with me (can you believe that ???? !!!!!!!) that their records show they pulled the "top" left tooth.  Since I felt I definitely held the trump card (the fact her lower tooth was missing and the loose upper tooth was still there), I smugly (since I don't feel well) asked if maybe they would like to see *her* on Monday, along with Luci.  The dental person said she couldn't believe that had happened.  I told her I couldn't believe it, either!!!  Since Annamarie said it hurt when they pulled it, I wondered if they had given her a shot in her upper mouth and then pulled the bottom tooth?????  I also mentioned that thought to the gal on the phone and she winced at the thought. 

Annamarie said they gave her a shot first, but Annamarie isn't a reliable source of information.  I DO believe her when she said it hurt - especially since it wasn't even loose!  I asked, and the good news is that the tooth they pulled by mistake was a baby tooth.  At least it will grow back!

This story shouldn't leave anyone wondering why I have such a phobia of dentists!!!!!

=============================

========================

I suppose I should go lie down again.  The bed and I have become good friends this year!!!  I should also move the card from Tina back to the bedroom so I can look at it.  It's beautiful, hand made, and has a favorite subject of mine on the front - a bird!  Well, the word "peace" is a favorite of mine, too!

      
                              The ribbon is iridescent white, but photographed purple. 
                                     I never know what will come out of my camera!!!

Be Blessed ~

I'm not feeling well.  Laryngitis, small cough, and aches.  Fortunately, I can take aspirin for my fever and it won't interfere with my pain medications.  I have a small fever . . . enough to make everything in my body ache and for me to feel lousy.

I'll be spending the day in bed - drinking warm tea and trying to heal as quickly as possible. 

ChorePacks were a success today.  The girls clipped the packs on their nightgowns and came to me (dressed) when everything was finished.  Except for a few knots left in Annamarie's hair, all chores were completed perfectly by each of the girls!  YAY!!! for when things go right! 

I'll be back another day, soon, when I have more zip!  Right now I feel "zapped" and have NO zip! 

Be Blessed  ~

                                     
                                                   Chirper, playing with his birdie friend, Tango!

She said she would hit 4 different vertebrae in my spine and I would probably have problems with reflux (I already do) and a tightness (like I can't swallow) or lump in my throat (because of T-2 vertebrae being so close to my throat).  She said the other probable reaction would be a tight spot in my stomach (because of T7 - T9 vertebrae) and I might possibly throw up (I already have that problem, too).  All of those spots of radiation treatment are close to my throat and diaphragm area.  She said she would give lots of medicine to counter the reaction of digestive upsets the radiation would most likely bring.

I told her I fell in the 1% of weird people who react in unusual ways - and she said the digestive part would be my biggest battle.  The hair on my head will continue to grow and the hair on my back will be the only places there will be hair loss.  Jesse quipped, "Oh good!  Then I won't have to keep shaving her back anymore, right?"

BUT . . .  the good AND BEST news was that I would have a short duration of radiation - only 3 weeks of 5 days a week.  I was glad to hear that.  I can't imagine driving there from where we live every day for 16 weeks!  I was beginning to picture us fighting snow and sleet in the dead of winter!  This doctor is moving quickly with this treatment and I'm scheduled to start next week.  I begin with a CT scan and they mark my skin where they will shoot the beam of radiation.  Since I can't easily reach my back to wash it, I guess their permanent marker markings will last a while!

===================

I think I made a huge mistake.

Yesterday, I straightened our inside and outside pantries.  I haven't organized anything since early last April.  I found repeated items where the count made me laugh.
        
We have enough variety of canned beans to feed a soup kitchen!  Same with Spaghetti-Os!!!!!  Several times, I told Jesse to put them on the grocery list because I didn't see any on the shelves.  They must have been pushed to the back of the shelves because now we have more than an ample supply!

I like having everything at my finger tips because I don't plan meals ahead.  I either take out ground beef, ground turkey, or chicken each morning and it becomes whatever it becomes when it's time to cook!
                      
I cook a lot with "cream of" chicken & mushroom soups, and also use tomatoes and broth (ck or beef) in many of my dishes.  The girls and I love fruit and we eat canned fruit at lunch and fresh fruit as a snack during the day.  So, I'm breathing easier, now that the pantry is busting at the seams, again!

                       
                                    Even the cold cereals, chips, and paper napkins & paper plates
                                                    have had their shelves restocked.

Redoing the food pantry shelves made me ambitious and I came inside and rearranged some of the pantry shelves in the utility room.  Food had to be removed from a bottom shelf.  Formerly, there was a plastic bin with snack food, Pop Tarts, etc. in it.  We accused the children of sneaking food (we were finding wrappers in different places through out the house) and, at one time, there was a Pop Tart with a small bite mark in it - but left in the snack bin on the bottom shelf.  Jesse came in through the garage door one morning to find Sushi standing up on one paw on the shelf and the other paw was pawing through all the goodies - like she couldn't decide which she wanted to eat!

That lower shelf now holds my kitchen linens!
  
                                                                   And I also rearranged all of my big cookware, so I could pull
                                                                   something out without something else dropping on my toes!

So why was this all a huge mistake?  Because it started late last night and I woke up this morning with no voice.  Just a whisper and a suspicious cough. 

It didn't occur to me that those cans had been touched by 92 million hands before mine and were probably a breeding ground for germs.  I'll take it easy today and rest on the bed this afternoon.

The girls are going to the dentist (without me) and have lazed around this morning.
                      

I found a first grade activity book in the home school supply cupboard and I am making copies of some of the pages (times three!) to get them back in the swing of doing school work.  I will have chores for them tomorrow and activity book pages to keep them occupied.

      
                                                                  Luci and Annamarie

By the way, the ChorePacks went much more smoothly today.  Annamarie told me she had brushed her hair and I said, "okay."

BUT . . . I didn't actually run my fingers through her hair.  A minute ago, I tried to put it in a ponytail and it was a ratted mess.  Live and learn!  Now I know I'll have to run my fingers through hair to be sure it's been brushed!

      
                                                                      Rissy

who hadn't brushed her hair, either!

Be Blessed  ~

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from the radiology oncologist's nurse.  She was wanting to set me up, right away, with my first appointment and asked if I could come in today.  I told her to make the appointment for as late in the afternoon as possible, since Jesse mows lawns in the morning and early afternoon.  My 2:00pm appointment, unfortunately, will run him short on mowing time.

Tomorrow the same will happen because the girls have a 2:30 (maybe 1:30???) afternoon appointment to see their dentist.  It sure would be easier if I could drive, but Jesse says "N-O, NO!!" and he's not getting much of an argument from me.  If there was an emergency, I could probably drive, but, admittedly, I'm still not cooking on the front burner these days with my foggy brain activity!

I asked the nurse if the fatigue my oncologist mentioned (about side effects from radiation) would be like the fatigue associated with chemo . . . She interrupted me and said, "No!  Nothing at all like chemo!"  That was a load off of my brain.  I told her I'd make a list of questions for the today's appointment and she said that was a good idea. 

I don't really know what to ask.  I've heard you can feel like your skin is burned where they shoot the radiation into you, but I don't know how severe and if aloe & lidocaine ointments are effective in relieving the burn.  Guess I'll know the facts after today.  I'm also wondering if they will start my first radiation treatment today.  I'd just as soon they do one while I'm there, if possible, because that's a long way to drive each week (5 days) for a 5 minute zap!  If we didn't have the full size Suburban, it wouldn't be as much of a concern.  But, I LOVE MY SUBURBAN and don't want to go back to a mini van.  Maybe I can coast when the roads slope downward and use less gas!!

It's a beautiful morning.  And the rest of the week should be the same.  There's a bit of rain in the forecast later in the week, but temperatures in the 80's are much nicer than the 100's!!!  The trees are blooming with beautiful flowers again and it's just a pretty time of year.  Only about 4 more weeks and we will have 80's for our highs and cooler nights in the 50's!  It never really gets chilly during the day until the end of October and, even then, we can still have a few really warm days.  By Thanksgiving it is more cool than warm.  But, there have been many Thanksgiving Days where the windows were opened to let the oven's heat out of the house!

I woke up today at 6am with Jesse. I slept much better last night, other than being chilled to the bone and needing to get up to put on socks, my sleep cap, and my winter bathrobe over the bedspread on my side of the bed.  I may have had a bit of a fever - I don't know.

The girls are still sleeping.  At least I'll be able to instruct and guide them with their ChorePacks this morning . . .  and get them past the second instruction card that says, "eat breakfast"!!!!!

I did a few chores yesterday and rested in between.  So, no ill effects came from my being up.  I straightened a pantry shelf that holds instant coffee, flavored coffees, and different types of tea.  I hand washed a few big dishes and the rest went into the dishwasher, and I ran it.  I cleaned the girls' counter in their bathroom and made note that one of them needs to clean the toilet and the sink (lots of toothpaste stuck to the sink).  I caught up on emails (wrote back to a handful of people) and then relaxed until it was time to start browning ground turkey meat for soup.  Maybe that's why I felt so good last night and not aching!  Jesse and the girls cleaned up after dinner.  I called my dear friend Lori in Ohio and we chatted a while on the phone.  I should call her more often.  I always realize how much I miss her when I hear her voice.

The girls enjoyed the pool yesterday while all of the neighborhood children were back in public school.  They made some chalk drawings on the back patio.  The have that special chalk and 3D glasses so the drawings look 3 dimensional when they look down at the cement.  They were content and I barely heard of peep from them. 

If they get up and get around this morning, and don't dilly dally with their chores, they may be able to swim a bit this morning before having to come in for lunch and get dressed to leave for my appointment.  I'd like them to use the pool as much as possible, because soon it will be so chilly at night that the water won't heat up much during the days.  This rectangle pool (from Target) has been a good investment, since we weren't able to put up the "real pool" this summer.

I slept until 10:45 this morning.  Did you get that?   10:45!!!!!!!!!!    For me - that's unheard of!!!  I could hear children in other rooms and continued to fall back asleep.  I did a few things yesterday, but nothing that should have made me nauseous or exhausted.  Tonight's menu of vegetable beef soup (but really vegetable turkey soup, since I'll be using ground turkey) will be easy to make.  I may let Rissy do the whole thing.

I've made a decision to keep a cranberry colored shag rug for the Annamarie's and Luci's bedroom.  It goes better with the floral fabric than a pink rug.  I still haven't made the tablecloths for each of their nightstands, nor have I found a lamp shade for the second lamp I bought.  I may have to discard the one lampshade and buy 2 new ones that match each other.  I'm counting on shopping at other Wal-Marts to see if another store might have the one I need.  I will put a white eyelet comforter on their bed in winter (it's heavy) and would like to buy an inexpensive light pink one as a "change of scenery" covering.  Remember, their walls are painted the light shade of green in the leaves of the curtain and tablecloth fabric.

Tah Daaaah!!   We started the ChorePacks this morning.  They were grossly unsuccessful! 

By that I mean; when I *finally* got out of bed, each girl was proudly wearing her ChorePack clipped to her nightgown.  However, they were in their nightgowns and "eat breakfast" was the next card in their pack of chores.  Seems they couldn't decide what to eat this morning, so Rissy (at 10am) decided to make muffins from scratch.  That meant, ALL OTHER CHORE CARD COMMANDS CAME TO A DEAD HALT!  . . . Not exactly how the system is supposed to work. 

The rule is:  If you can't complete the next chore for some reason, go on to the one (or ones) after that and come back to the uncompleted chore,  later.  They should have gotten dressed, brushed their hair, and cleaned their rooms while waiting for the muffins to bake . . . but, since those things come AFTER breakfast in their ChorePacks, they were only on card number two, "Eat breakfast," which comes after card number one,  "Wash your hands."

Sigh!!! 

This new system will, obviously, take a while to implement; and for them to familiarize themselves with the routine and how it works.  I can't add more chores until they can complete the first 12 *detailed* steps of getting ready in the morning!!!!
   
Rissy used the oldest pan I own.                                       But, her muffins tasted really good!

Stormy (the black & white cat)  has had an upset stomach for a few days.  The vomiting has gone away, but she is clingy.  I found her yesterday in the middle of our bed awaiting clean sheets.  I don't know why she thinks we change sheets just for her - but, she has always climbed on the bed when we put on the new sheets - ever since she was a very young kitten!.
    
                                                                   I asked her to smile.  This was her version of a smile!!!

And poor Sushi.  She is lost without Auntie JoJo and riffles through her toy basket, but is never happy with any of her toys.  She reminds me of a toddler - lots of toys and none of them satisfying.  If she could talk, I'm sure she'd say, "There's nothing fun to do around here!"   She goes outside for a bit in the heat and immediately wants back inside where the air is cooler
     I wish I could teach her the "clean up" song!                     The foyer tile is nice an cold!

I received two live plants after I completed chemo.  Although I lost a "piece" of one arrangement (3 different plants in one basket), I am proud to say I haven't killed the hanging ivy yet!!!  My once green thumb has definitely become a blighted, black thumb!
                                  

Speaking of plants, the neighbor's crepe myrtle trees (and ours on the back fence, which are smaller) are in full bloom again after the rain we received.  Her trees are beautiful and are the ones I see from my bedroom window, while lying in bed and resting.  An impressive view - for sure! 
                                 

JoAnn cut the patio's rose bushes back.  It wasn't yielding many flowers and there was a mulberry bush (it comes back every year) threatening to choke the life out of it.  She only cut the rose bushes back a week ago and we are already seeing beautiful flowers!  Look at this opened rose and the bud behind it!
  Thank you, JoAnn!!! 
 

The girls are swimming in the pools.  Jesse cleaned them and put more chemicals in each of them this weekend.  The public school children around the city are starting back to school and mine are still enjoying the pool and playing.  I made them eat lunch first so they don't have the excuse of coming in, dripping wet, to tell me they are hungry.
  I spoke too soon.  Luci just opened the back door and asked if they could all have a piece of candy.  Since they ate an iced brownie (Rissy made them Saturday), my answer was a resounding, "NO!  Go back outside and swim!!!!"

Our school will resume after Labor Day - maybe Wednesday or Thursday.  I want them to get a taste of school before jumping in with both feet.  Since we schooled through June, I've never worried about starting at a particular time of year.  We have never really followed the public school's holidays and, sometimes, we even have school on Saturdays.

Jesse went to his check up appointment (blood pressure, etc.) this afternoon and is on his way home. Guess it's time for me to lie down and watch "Jeopardy!" - my way of being assured my body will get one hour's rest during the afternoon.  Today, I've only cleaned the girls' bathroom and loaded & run the dishwasher.  Not too much work!

Be Blessed

I did too much, yesterday.  It didn't feel like it was too much at the time, but once my back started complaining, it was too late to do anything about it.  I had sat up for too long and had done (I guess) too many light chores.

What light chores?

1)  I finished RIssy's laundry (2 loads) that Jesse had started - but I DID NOT finish Annamarie's or start mine.
2)  I cleaned the kitchen bar and stove off with 409.  I left the heavy pans on the stove top, for someone else to bend down & reach high to put away.
3)  I partially cleared off the top of my desk.
4)  I cleared off the beds in the guest room - things that JoAnn wants mailed to her.
5)  I cleaned the round glass table top (end table) in the den.
6)  Rissy fixed dinner, I started the rice in the rice cooker and opened a few cans of tomatoes for her.  She did the rest; and, it was good, too!

I was in so much pain last night that I couldn't fall asleep until nearly 2am.  I took my new 12 hour time released pain pill and then had to take Percocet an hour later and two hours later Morphine (all within the instructions the doctor gave me).  Finally I tried the heating pad.  Chirper loved it, but my back didn't seem to care one way or the other.

                               
                                                        My hair is starting to grow back. 
                                           Like a 5 o'clock shadow beard on a man's face.
                                                    Except it's white, white, WHITE hair!

I really want to save my strength for the things that are important and not fuss over the small stuff.  One of the girls could have cleaned the glass end table.  I don't know that any of the other things could have been assigned to a child.  I cleared off JoAnn's things from the beds so the dog didn't tear up her stuff.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have thought that was important.  AND, "cleaning" means I moved her things to the top of the dresser in the guest room and put away the extra pillows she had used.  Not exactly "hard" work.

It's entirely possible that sitting upright for half a day is too much for my back muscles right now.  The doctor said we would have to wait to see what is muscle pain and what is pain from the damaged vertebrae.  She also said if a woman had been younger than me and running 2 miles every day, the chemo beats people down so far that it would take that woman at least 6 months to regain her full energy.  Since I'm older and not a fitness nut (I just run around the house and chase after children!!!), she said it would easily take a year to regain my energy, AND I may never fully regain the same energy I used to have.

So, I ask myself, "Did I do too much yesterday?"  I laid on my bed most of the afternoon reading and watching the evening news.  "Was there any chore I could have left undone yesterday?"  Yes, Jesse could have finished the laundry, but he works so hard all day - I hate to leave that for him, too.

I wish I had a list of approved and unapproved chores I can safely do.  I wish there were more obvious lines drawn around acceptable work and unacceptable work while I recover.  Instead, I have to rely on myself and my own strength (or lack of it).  I'm trying to be sensitive to my body, especially when it tells me to lie down.  I'm either very dense or my body isn't giving me any warning before the horrible back pain sets in my back.

I think I'll finish laundry today, because I can lie down in between loads.  It may be the day to pull out the CrockPot for tonight's dinner.  Rissy said she would love to learn how to use it - of course she'll love it.  She loves EVERYTHING to do with cooking!

                        
                                 I've lost weight, I'm white as a sheet, and I have no facial hair,
                                                           BUT . . . I'm still smiling!

Jesse has to work today, but he has two friends helping him.  He probably won't be home until dinner, which means I really need to NOT do anything stupid while he's gone.  My bed?  Reading?  Planning my ChorePacks?  It doesn't sound like an exciting day, but I probably need to get used to not flitting around the house all day, touching this and cleaning that!

Be Blessed  ~

Why the long face?

I think she misses JoAnn and her granddaughters.

The guest room just doesn't look right.
                      

As a matter of fact, it looks very empty!
          

Sushi misses her.  Chirper and Stormy miss her.  The girls think it feels weird.  Jesse started doing all of the family's laundry last night and I'm finishing it this morning.  I ache.  My back doesn't understand what I'm doing . . . . being upright and out of bed more than usual.  The new pain pills make my mouth dry, but I can't say they take the pain away.  Not completely, anyway.   

Everyone has to find a new routine, again.  It won't be like our old one, because I will need lots of help between now and getting back to doing more around the house.  The girls are eager to help, but I'm still unorganized with what to assign them.  I ask them to do things for me as circumstances arise.  I am still having to remind the girls to take a bath, change their underwear, brush their teeth, and other routine things like that!  I'm not even sure *I* know what needs to be done.  I know we need to eat and the dog needs to go outside every so often.  I know we need clothes to wear and *clean ones* would be nice . . .

Jesse is having to stop working early today to take the girls to their therapy appointment.  I don't know if I'll be up to going with him or not.  My back is really screaming at me and sitting in a car or chair doesn't help - I need to lie down to relieve the pain.  Next week the girls have a dental appointment, so Jesse will have to work around that, too.  I don't know when I'll be able to start driving again.  Right now, he'll have to run all errands as well as do the grocery shopping.  There are many sacks of cans in the garage pantry that need to be put in their proper place on the shelves - my job.  The freezer needs to be  reorganized before winter.  Rissy will have to help with cooking meals . . .but, she's just an 8yo child.  I hate to put on her more than is reasonable to expect.  So much responsibility!  She doesn't know much about the CrockPot and I'm thinking she may like being introduced to it and finding it to be a new friend!!

Meanwhile, we miss JoAnn - but are all very happy that she is back home in her own environment and can get on with her own life.  She gave so much to me (only a sister-in-law, not blood relative) and we will be grateful for her help for the rest of our lives.  I'll never forget what she did or the sweetness of her hand in mine (holding me) when I felt my worst.

Be Blessed  ~

I woke up earlier than usual this morning to say good bye to JoAnn and the girls.  Jesse took them to the airport, while I hurried my own girls through breakfast and getting dressed and all the other neat stuff it takes to get girls ready.

We had to ALL go to the oncologist's office so we could discuss the test findings and the future plan of management for me.  My doctor patiently answered all of my questions.  I'll be on Zometa (something like the Boniva Sally Field talks about on TV commercials) to create strong bones and she said I'd take that once a month (IV) for the rest of my life.  I had other questions about minor things - like when will my taste come back and when will the nerve damage above my left knee go away.  Like I said, she patiently answered everything.  She talked a bit with the girls.

And she smiled . . .

and smiled . . .

and smiled, the whole time we were in the exam room.

As we were leaving she stopped and made the comment, "You know, I told you this type of result happens 1% or less of the time in patients with such huge and aggressive tumors as yours; but, the truth is, I've only seen this happen to a couple of my patients over my years of practice!" 

She was as thrilled as we were at the newest reports.  And I guess, in a profession where you don't see a lot of positive outcomes, or where you are trained to add a few months or years to someone's life and feel successful, this must really make a doctor's day when someone responds with NO CANCER to a yucky diagnosis.  I told her that this was my faith and what I had prayed for and I also believed I had been sent to her and the others by divine appointment.  Her work and the chemo definitely had their place.

When she left, she hesitated to shake my hand and we instinctively threw our arms around each other and she gave me the biggest and longest bear hug!

Next thing will be to consult with a radiology oncologist (in the same office) and see  what needs to be done to the damaged area in my one vertebrae.  Sounds like it will be a once a day trip for weeks, to be blasted with radiation in that one small spot for around 5 minutes.  A lot of gasoline will be used to get there and back on a daily basis!  And we have that huge Suburban, too!  She warned me that I might feel fatigued because my bone marrow will be messed with again when the radiation is given.

Today, I stayed to have that bone building IV (Zometa) put in.  It takes only 20 minutes, but that's AFTER they get to you and hook up an IV.  Jesse took us to lunch and dropped me off here at the house and went to run some errands with the girls in tow.  My back is aching and tired, but she gave me pain medicine to handle that until my back  muscles are stronger.  That will take time.  She said it COULD be the damaged bone where the cancer had taken over, but time will tell.  I'm now asking God to heal and repair those bone areas so I can be active and productive again without limitations.

Thank you all for your warm response, I truly appreciate you sharing my joy.  BUT . . . don't forget . . . I only used faith and God orchestrated the rest.  "HE" sent me to the doctor I have and "HE" prescribed the chemo and "HE" did the ultimate healing!  Not me - not all by myself. 

Thank you for your prayers throughout this journey of mine.  I never felt alone, knowing how many were lifting me up in prayer.

Be Blessed  ~

I couldn't take a chance on doubt or comments against what I was REALLY believing God would do.  I don't want to offend anyone, but this is the same way I handled my lower back diagnosis in March of 1998. 

About the 1998 diagnosis:  I was diagnosed (I even saw the x-rays) with "severe degenerative disc disease" as my spine was collapsing - vertebrae on top of vertebrae.  The spaces that should have been between my lower vertebrae were almost totally non-existent.  The x-rays were scary and the doctor's advice was to "get my things in order quickly" because I would soon be in a wheel chair and probably dead by the time I was 60 years old.  Hummmmm . . .  not a pleasant thing to ponder.  Surgery was out of the question because it was too risky and would, most likely, cause paralysis.

On July 19,  1999 my back was suddenly and miraculously healed.  The old x-rays of March 30, 1999 along side the new ones (only 3 1/2 months later) were remarkably different.  There were *huge* spaces between my vertebrae and the head of orthopedics at Oklahoma University Medical Center had no explanation.  They ran a second set of x-rays and they were conclusive, my lumbar spine was more youthful than my age at the time! 

A MIRACLE!!!

===============

So what was the result of my tests from last Thursday and Friday?

I HAVE NO BREAST CANCER!  I HAVE NO LYMPH GLAND CANCER! 

NONE!!!!  NADA!  ZIP!!!

I am completely healed of breast cancer and the radiologist's report started in capital letters, "DRAMATIC CHANGE FROM PREVIOUS MRI . . ."

The surgeon confirmed the report yesterday.  I was still waiting for my upper and lower body CT scans of my organs.  All of them are clear.

The part I told no one?

The cancer had metastasized to my bones.  My thoracic vertebrae were involved with tumors from T-2 down to T-9 and spreading rapidly.  My breast tumor was attached to the chest wall.  It was massive and growing at a VERY alarming rate of speed.  They said they would TRY to do the best they could with chemo and they said we "hopefully" will see *some* shrinkage.

The last time I was at the oncologist's office (I think I had already written here) she said the tumor in my breast and the ones in the lymph nodes felt like they had totally dissolved to nothing.  Well, it has not only dissolved to nothing but has disappeared completely on the MRI images - a very detailed picture.  The gal who did the thoracic MRI on Thursday actually ran the test a second time - I guess because things looked so different from the previous report and that isn't usual.

The oncologist's nurse called today and said there was nothing noted on the scan of my organs (the scariest part when there is cancer) and my backbone tumors have all shrunk.  Even the worst one at T-2 has been reduced greatly, but they will blast that one with radiation.

This cancer spread quickly and reached my blood stream.  I will need to be monitored and take hormone suppressant drugs for at least 5 years, but because my tumor is estrogen fed, they have a very good prognosis for me - "decades of life" is what I was told, more than once by the oncologist and surgeon also confirmed that, yesterday.  The oncologist DID tell me that this type of TOTAL disappearance (in the breast and lymph nodes) happens to maybe 1% (or less) of cancer patients.  HIGHLY UNUSUAL!

Same with the reduction in my spine - not usual, at all.

So, I stand here today praising God for once more taking my pitiful medical diagnosis and befuddling the medical profession.  I believe He led me to an excellent doctor and her nurse.  I believe it was no accident that I ended up in the hands of a Christian (who believes in miracle healings and stood in agreement with me) in the chemo room (thank you, Pam!) and a front desk nurse in the chemo room who also whispered healing Scriptures and encouragement in my ear (thank you, Linda!)  - especially these last few weeks when the collection of chemo was taking its toll on my energy and body.

The last 24 hours has been hell on earth for me.  Yesterday, the devil whispered repeatedly in my ear, "The chemo has moved to your organs and they are eaten up - that's why you are having so many digestive upsets.  The chemo didn't work and neither did all of your prayers," and all other types of devilish, negative thoughts.  Yesterday morning, I called someone who stood with me against the wiles of the devil and we prayed together.  Once more, I was strong in the Lord and not believing the lies the devil fed to me.

There will be no surgery.  The surgeon glowed when she talked with me yesterday and said she would monitor me carefully (every 3 months with either an ultrasound or mammogram) and she is as amazed as the oncologist at the lack of tumor in light of how aggressive, mean, and ugly the first diagnosis was in March/April.

Anyway, I've told my husband and I've told my sister . . . so, now, I can tell everyone else!

HALLELUJAH and glory to GOD!!!!!

Be Blessed  ~