We went outside in between storms.  It was dark enough to see everyone write in the sky with their sparklers.  Jesse bought extra long sparklers and they lasted far longer than a standard sparkler.
 

     
Jesse was in charge of handing out sparklers and getting them lit.  It was hard convincing the children to not let the ends of the sparklers drag in the grass.  If the sparkler ends got wet from the grass, they didn't light OR didn't stay lit for very long.  The grass was absolutely soaked from a deluge of rain earlier in the evening.

Sky writing with sparklers.

    Racing cars and turtles that scooted along the sidewalk.
 
  
                           
                                 These scooted and spun at the end of their life, emitting sparks.
                                    Some of the guys got the great idea of lighting two at once
                                                            and racing each other!

 
A blur of people using sparklers in the wet grass and one more racer turtle (car???) on the patio.

So much light and so many pretty colors to see.

I'll post more next week.  Hope y'all had an enjoyable holiday!

Be Blessed  ~

I slept well until about 3am and then had spurts of dozing off until 5am.  From 5 - 6am I counted sheep, my fingers, the dust bunnies on the ceiling fan . . . . (!!!)  I finally got up a few minutes before 6am to start my laundry.

                             
                                                          Abreeana's smily eyes!

Jesse had planned to be off today (yeah, right!) and instead decided to do a few lawns (3 houses and 1 church) and be back here this afternoon.  He's still gone.  BUT, she should be free from work until Monday.

                             
                                                          Rissy's version of smily eyes!

We're doing some last minute cleaning around here.  We're preparing for Aolani's and Karen's arrival tomorrow afternoon.  Rissy cleaned out her room (and some space on her dresser) for Karen to use.  Rissy will sleep in Annamarie's and Luci's king size bed with her sisters until Karen leaves the 13th.

                           
                                                   Chirper + Abreeana = True love!

All that's left for me to do is dust my desk off and boil some eggs.  I've already finished my 3 loads of laundry and put everything away.

                             
                                       The silk flower arrangement I made for my birthday last year.
                                               (Don't look at the wrinkles in the tablecloth!!!)

My contribution to tomorrow's meal, here (I keep joking saying "I'm bringing . . . "), will be deviled eggs and a Mexican flavored pasta salad.  Jesse and I were talking this morning, before he left, about buying some pork chops to cook outside, as well as the burgers and hotdogs.  Pork chops aren't terribly expensive and they always taste so good when cooked on the barbecue.

                                         
                                          JoAnn and Stephanie cleaned the cobwebs from and
                                          used ammonia on the crystal chandelier in the dining room. 
                                                It actually sparkles when the lights are on!

This morning, Abreeana and Rissy have been swimming in the tiny pool that we decided to make do with this summer.  Rissy can putter around without getting her ears wet.

Today, JoAnn is doing her laundry and preparing her room for Aolani's arrival.

This morning I found some coloring sheets to print out, some games, and a Highlight's Magazine "Find the Hidden Picture" all having to do with Independence Day.  It will give all of the children something to do if they are inside.  We're expecting six children and seven adults for dinner tomorrow.  A houseful, again - but I like having people fill our house.  It's the whole reason we bought a bigger home - so people could enjoy it with us. 

I put a celery green tablecloth on the formal table and have a pastel centerpiece in the middle of it.  We'll need the kitchen table for the children and dining room table for the adults.  I'm glad we have enough "table seating" for large groups of people.

I may try to take a nap this afternoon.  Stephanie is coming this evening for dinner (bringing Annamarie, Luci, & JanaLyn with her) and then will take Rissy to spend the night.  In the morning, she is (bravely!!!) taking them to a 4th of July carnival.  One of those park set ups with small rides, game booths, and moonwalk.  By afternoon, it should be too hot to stay outdoors and I imagine they will migrate back this way.  Stephanie will have to stop at her place to get her pasta salad (different from mine) and baked beans.  She also said she'd buy a watermelon.

                               
                                                                              Chirper

Can't think of anything really interesting to say - just my typical "day in the life of me" stuff!!!!!

Be Blessed  ~

Yesterday's pain continued through the night.  I slept hard yesterday afternoon for about two hours. 

I DID sleep well last night, but awoke, this morning, with pain that felt like a fever was raging through my body. 

In fact, yesterday, last night, and again this morning I DID have a slight fever. 

Another call to the doctor's nurse.

==========

New instructions: 
Clear instructions . . .  I'm to take my narcotic pain pills daily, whether I have pain or not. 

Explanation:  In order for the pain receptors in my body to be blocked, I must have a dose of medication for pain administered 24/7 on a regular basis (pain or no pain). 

===========

I argued.  (more like screamed my protest of possible prescription drug addiction) 

It was explained to me that taking my pain medication ONLY when pain appears, makes the pain rise and fall like a roller coaster (a good description of how my past 5 weeks has been - regarding pain). 

She further explained:  This isn't a pain they expect me to bear, nor is it like regular pain from surgery, a broken bone, etc.  This is chemically induced pain and, quite frankly, the nurse can't believe I have been trying to get through that level of induced pain without any help from pain medication. 
(I think that was her way of calling me stupid - but I didn't ask for clarification) 

===============

So, she had Jesse come up to the clinic to get a Percocet and Morphine prescription refill and said she'll call me on Monday expecting to hear I have had a great holiday weekend. 

I cried on the phone and embarrassed myself when I talked with her.  I SO don't want to be dependent on drugs.  She said I have been blessed all my life with good health and have never had to take pain medication, except for a few days (not something most people can say) but *this time* things are different AND temporary. 

She said she KNEW I was afraid and that I must have an incredibly high pain threshold to have been NOT taking pain medication on a regular basis.  BUT . . .  she and the doctor won't do ANYTHING to harm me and I should trust them with the pain medication directions.  Yep!  I cried. 

============

I AM okay (now) and have had a bath and will wake up tomorrow with a new attitude (and hopefully no pain) and try to get used to this all being okay.  The pain is with me, but kind of distant, except for a few occasional twinges of sharp pain in my knees.

The level of pain is down considerably and I will, hopefully, have something more cheerful to write about tomorrow.

Be Blessed  ~

Marie stayed here while JoAnn and Jesse took Rissy to the doctor to check on her ear ache.  She only has an infection in one ear and no sinus problems, so the doctor thought it most likely was swimming pool bacteria.  An antibiotic and anesthetic medication were prescribed for her.  She won't be going to Stephanie's house this week, since what they do all day is swim and she can't go in the water until her ear problem clears up.

                          
                                                     Annamarie, Rissy, and JanaLyn

Marie and I had such a nice visit while Jesse and JoAnn were gone.  I really enjoy her company.  She told me about the successful trip to the dog park earlier that day.  She even had pictures on her phone of Sushi in the water!  She said Sushi was a little apprehensive at first when she saw all the dogs in one place, but quickly came to Marie when Marie called her.  Sushi and Zoe slept in the den while Marie and I talked.

After Jesse came home and Marie left, I began to feel worse.  I took a bath and put on a clean gown and climbed into bed to watch the news.  I took my temperature and found I had a low grade fever.  I'm supposed to do what activities I can, when I can, and then rest when I can do no more.  I thought I had done that, but maybe I over did it.  The neuropathy in my left knee began to radiate, painfully to my upper thigh.

                              
                                     Pictures turned out red this time - I have no idea WHY???!!!!

Needless to say, there went my plans for making a chicken chef salad for dinner for my family.  Jesse ran to the corner and got cheap Tuesday night burgers.  I could have cared less about I eating, but KNEW I needed to eat because of taking the pain pills and not wanting to create an upset stomach.  I ate dinner in bed.  So much for being up and around.

                              
                             A baby pool toy from the old days when the girls were little.  I don't know
                             how it ended up at this house.  I found it outside by the pool this morning!

The pain continued to get worse.  I ended up with ice packs on my left upper leg and more pain medication.  And, of all things, a mouth sore that came up just as quickly as the pain came upon me that evening.  The mouth sore made it almost impossible for me to swallow.  My mouth was bone dry and saliva or small sips of water hurt intensely.  The downside of the great pain medication is that it dries up my mouth.  Life is always about tradeoffs, isn't it?!!

                          
                             (Time to clean the pool and move it to a more shady place - YUCK!)

Stephanie was here with JanaLyn (to do laundry and spend the night) and I really wasn't able to visit with her.  She was sweet and helped me the best she could, JoAnn saw to it that I got the correct medication at the correct time.  Jesse hovered helplessly, telling me he was sorry I was hurting so much.  All I did was moan from the pain.

I fell asleep around 11pm, or so, and woke up around 3-something in the morning.  I tossed and turned this morning, but at least the pain had considerably subsided.  I dozed a bit and got up before 7am.  Jesse was already gone, so I sat with my coffee in the den - all alone - wondering about all this pain and the weird side effects.

This morning, I walked into the backyard to get some fresh air and saw our crepe myrtle plants (the neighbor's and my own) FINALLY starting to bloom.  They are so beautiful when they are full of flowers and they will stay that way well into the fall season.  She has two colors and I have a third color that is different from hers.  It really makes our backyards pretty.

Jesse wants me to take it easy today.  He thinks I am doing too much after my chemo sessions.  He thinks my activity is eating away at my remaining good blood cells and I should be resting more.  Resting?  I feel like all I do is rest AND take it easy.  Maybe I'm getting antsy and impatient with the last of my chemo therapy.  I'm VERY afraid of growing weak in my muscles due to inactivity, and I KNOW I'm already dumb in the brain from lack of stimulation! 

I feel like I need to move around more and Jesse thinks differently. 

What is the right thing to do?  Do I rest and do "next to nothing" to let the new blood cells increase; or, do I do things to keep moving, feel stimulated, and feel useful??? 

I'm clueless!!!

                                   
                                                        (Smiley eyes - on cue!)

It's such a weird thing - cancer and chemo drugs.  It takes its own path and what it does to your body is whatever it wants to do and however it wants to manifest itself.  With me, the reaction to chemo and my cells repairing themselves is never the same way twice.  What happened last time may never happened again.  What I think I can expect, doesn't come to pass. 

                      
                               (Annamarie practicing her reading with Auntie JoJo)

Last night, I had these horrendous sores on the side of my tongue and under my tongue.  This morning, they are completely gone.  The pain shooting in my leg (remember, *this* is the neuropathy problem they warned me would happen in my *hands and feet* - but, it has hit ME in the one leg!!!) was just awful last night and is nothing more than a little tender or bruised feeling today.

How can something be so exaggerated but 12 hours later be minuscule???  The human body is an amazing thing and I find it fascinating . . . but, admittedly, I'm clueless as to what is going on or what to expect next  (beside being healed, of course).

I have such a curious mind, I think this is bothering me because I can't figure out what my body is doing to repair itself and what I can do to help it.  I'm beginning to think I can do nothing and the ride is a roller coaster ride - never knowing what lies around the next bend in the road.

Well, thankfully, I'm feeling much better today (a bit sleepy!!!) and I'm not uncomfortable.  I guess that's the positive thing and the thing on which I'll concentrate . . . . until I figure out if I can sit in the den or should stay in bed today!!!

Be Blessed  ~