July 10, 2009

• Pictures of Me and Some News

  Jesse took pictures of me last night with my wig.  I had quite a few people tell me, yesterday, that they couldn't believe I was wearing a wig.  Some of the same people commented over and over again - I take that as a compliment.  And, I'm glad my touch of styling hair and wigs hasn't fallen by the wayside - it's been YEARS since I've worked with fake hair.  I cut the bangs and wispy jaw length pieces on the sides.

    

  It's becoming more comfortable.  I wore it for yesterday's chemo appointment.  I got there at 8:30am and didn't leave until 3:30pm - SUCH A LARGE BLOCK OF MY TIME.  I was bored beyond belief and really tried to tell myself it was a small price to pay for what the drugs were accomplishing.  By 3:00, I had the staff laughing at me.  My, and another patient's, IV beeper went off signaling the bags had run out.  I said, "Me first!  Me first!  I've been here longer than anyone."  They laughed. 

  Then a delivery guy was unloading boxes.  The nurse had said she'd take my needle out of my port as soon as she was finished with another person.  I faked a deep sigh.  Then as the delivery guy walked out the door next to my chair, I asked, "Excuse me, sir.  Do you know how to take an IV needle out of my port?  Would you?  Could you?  Puh-leeeeze!"  Again, the staff laughed.  The delivery guy left QUICKLY!

    
  Abreeana, Chirper, & Luci                                                 Chirper

  I took my Bible and one fiction book with me to chemo.  I read a bunch in Matthew (finished it) and started on the book of Mark.  I never picked up the fiction book.  And, I've quit bringing my boom box and listening to music.  I tend to not use it much, if at all, and it is a cumbersome load to carry around.

                                      
                                    Chirper trying to escape the kissing and hugging.

  Luci has been suffering alone with just Abreeana for company.  Aolani went to visit her Dad until Saturday.  I will take Luci to therapy today, Stephanie will take the older girls earlier, and I plan to talk with the therapist today, too.  We'll take all of the girls to Stephanie's apartment, after the appointment, to pick up their suitcase and some cards (RX, etc.) and then we'll head home.

  On our way to the medical appointment, we have to stop at the vet and get some RX's for Sampson (Prednisone and Lasix) because we flaked out the other day when we picked up the pet's flea treatment.  Flaking out is something that has become a way of life for me - but the others in this house sometimes follow my lead!!!!

                     
                The last time I wore fake hair I was 20.  Now I'm 56.   A few years have passed!

  Things went well at the oncology appointment, yesterday.  The doctor was on vacation two weeks ago, so it's been four weeks since she's seen me.  She told me she couldn't find ANY of the tumors by feeling the breast tissue.  The pencil or long, cord-like one (it is barely detected by me) she couldn't feel it at all.  The lymph glands are still normal with no tiny tumors found.  Then she surprised me by saying the large mass (the one that encompassed half of the left breast) has pulled away from my chest wall and can't be found by her.  She said she could get her fingers behind the back of the breast tissue and feel my chest wall (ribs???).  And, that hurt me.  A good sign, because it means she is hitting normal tissue and not cancer tissue that has no feeling.

  I think that's wonderful news, and I am grateful for the chemo.  But, my faith and absolute trust is in God and HIS healing.  The reason I haven't examined myself (she asked if I had checked out my breast and I told her I hadn't) is because I didn't want to fluxuate in my 100% trust in God to work a miracle.  Even now, without pictures, I'm not trusting what the doctor says, but I totally am believing that God is at work and I'm safe in His care.  If the August scans reveal tumors, I will still trust God and not give up praying.

  She told me to be prepared that the surgeon might offer a lumpectomy.  And, if I'm one of the few that a scan reveals ALL tumors have disappeared, the surgeon may not want to do ANY surgery, since I will be monitored for the rest of my life because of the vertebrae tumors.  I guess they figure the vertebrae scans several months apart will show breast tumors as well and it will be detected early.

  I'll have to think about that, as I NEVER want to devote this much time to cancer and take that time from my family.  Not ever, again.  She understood that I have young children whom I homeschool and she understood my wanting a double mastectomy for peace of mind.  Since I'm NOT nursing a baby and I wear vests and high buttoned dresses to cover myself, it's not like my breasts are important to me.

   
  Abreeana and Luci in the pool this morning.                       The sun kept them from looking up into the camera.

  JoAnn and Karen cleaned the house yesterday while I was at chemo.  It's looks great.  We are trying to figure out what to do for dinner tonight.  The leftovers can be used for lunch and then I think we will have to come up with something new to cook.  I ate some of the leftover cranberry chicken and rice for dinner, last night.  Luci ate popcorn because JoAnn had taken Karen and her to a cafeteria (Furr's) for lunch and they ate a banquet.

  I am anxious to do "stuff" before the side effects hit me (most likely) later tonight.  I DID have the bone building stuff (Zometa) given in my IV yesterday and the doctor warned me to be aware of what happened last time and told me to be sure to take the pain stuff around the clock to prevent such a harsh reaction of pain again.  I feel like I am doing very well right now; but . . . I remember . . .

                           

  I've organized some new bills in our "to be paid" file and cleaned up the desk a bit this morning.  I have to take a bath.  I didn't last night.  I certainly had the time to, but Jesse was asleep.  I took a sleeping pill at 9:30 and then another half at 11:00.  Finally, at midnight, I became sleepy.  I know I'll struggle with insomnia over the next few days, but I hate to watch TV late or take a bath or do ANYTHING that might wake up others in the house.

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  I found some Yankee candles online I want, with a $10/off coupon.  I hate to spend money on myself.  I just bought some things from Bath and BodyWorks 75% off sale.  They always have one in June/July and again in December - so I stock up.   But, I feel bad for buying that AND now wanting candles.  But, I REALLY WANT THEM . . .   I also found some black out curtains (like Rissy has) on sale in the Penney's catalogue and that would be for the guest room and the girls room - six panels in all for $20/each instead of $30/each.  Money!  Money!  Money!  Can't live with it and can't live without it!

  

  
  I guess it's time for me to skedaddle.  I've been on here a long time, not just blogging, but taking care of business accounts, banking, etc.
  

                                                         

  Time for that bath and to get dressed, then out the door.

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 1:07 pm
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