July 1, 2009

• Chemo and Pain Observation

  Last night was sure an unexpected night and a very LOOOONG one for me.  I took some extra strength Tylenol yesterday morning and still had a few body aches.  So, when the aches became a little more prominent and more like "pains" in the afternoon, I took 2 pain pills, which totally alleviated the pain.  Yay, for pain pills that work.  Right?

  Marie stayed here while JoAnn and Jesse took Rissy to the doctor to check on her ear ache.  She only has an infection in one ear and no sinus problems, so the doctor thought it most likely was swimming pool bacteria.  An antibiotic and anesthetic medication were prescribed for her.  She won't be going to Stephanie's house this week, since what they do all day is swim and she can't go in the water until her ear problem clears up.

                            
                                                       Annamarie, Rissy, and JanaLyn

  Marie and I had such a nice visit while Jesse and JoAnn were gone.  I really enjoy her company.  She told me about the successful trip to the dog park earlier that day.  She even had pictures on her phone of Sushi in the water!  She said Sushi was a little apprehensive at first when she saw all the dogs in one place, but quickly came to Marie when Marie called her.  Sushi and Zoe slept in the den while Marie and I talked.

  After Jesse came home and Marie left, I began to feel worse.  I took a bath and put on a clean gown and climbed into bed to watch the news.  I took my temperature and found I had a low grade fever.  I'm supposed to do what activities I can, when I can, and then rest when I can do no more.  I thought I had done that, but maybe I over did it.  The neuropathy in my left knee began to radiate, painfully to my upper thigh.

                                
                                       Pictures turned out red this time - I have no idea WHY???!!!!

  Needless to say, there went my plans for making a chicken chef salad for dinner for my family.  Jesse ran to the corner and got cheap Tuesday night burgers.  I could have cared less about I eating, but KNEW I needed to eat because of taking the pain pills and not wanting to create an upset stomach.  I ate dinner in bed.  So much for being up and around.

                                
                               A baby pool toy from the old days when the girls were little.  I don't know
                               how it ended up at this house.  I found it outside by the pool this morning!

  The pain continued to get worse.  I ended up with ice packs on my left upper leg and more pain medication.  And, of all things, a mouth sore that came up just as quickly as the pain came upon me that evening.  The mouth sore made it almost impossible for me to swallow.  My mouth was bone dry and saliva or small sips of water hurt intensely.  The downside of the great pain medication is that it dries up my mouth.  Life is always about tradeoffs, isn't it?!!

                            
                               (Time to clean the pool and move it to a more shady place - YUCK!)

  Stephanie was here with JanaLyn (to do laundry and spend the night) and I really wasn't able to visit with her.  She was sweet and helped me the best she could, JoAnn saw to it that I got the correct medication at the correct time.  Jesse hovered helplessly, telling me he was sorry I was hurting so much.  All I did was moan from the pain.

  I fell asleep around 11pm, or so, and woke up around 3-something in the morning.  I tossed and turned this morning, but at least the pain had considerably subsided.  I dozed a bit and got up before 7am.  Jesse was already gone, so I sat with my coffee in the den - all alone - wondering about all this pain and the weird side effects.

          

  This morning, I walked into the backyard to get some fresh air and saw our crepe myrtle plants (the neighbor's and my own) FINALLY starting to bloom.  They are so beautiful when they are full of flowers and they will stay that way well into the fall season.  She has two colors and I have a third color that is different from hers.  It really makes our backyards pretty.

                                      

  Jesse wants me to take it easy today.  He thinks I am doing too much after my chemo sessions.  He thinks my activity is eating away at my remaining good blood cells and I should be resting more.  Resting?  I feel like all I do is rest AND take it easy.  Maybe I'm getting antsy and impatient with the last of my chemo therapy.  I'm VERY afraid of growing weak in my muscles due to inactivity, and I KNOW I'm already dumb in the brain from lack of stimulation! 

  I feel like I need to move around more and Jesse thinks differently. 

  What is the right thing to do?  Do I rest and do "next to nothing" to let the new blood cells increase; or, do I do things to keep moving, feel stimulated, and feel useful??? 

  I'm clueless!!!

                                     
                                                          (Smiley eyes - on cue!)

  It's such a weird thing - cancer and chemo drugs.  It takes its own path and what it does to your body is whatever it wants to do and however it wants to manifest itself.  With me, the reaction to chemo and my cells repairing themselves is never the same way twice.  What happened last time may never happened again.  What I think I can expect, doesn't come to pass. 

                        
                                 (Annamarie practicing her reading with Auntie JoJo)

  Last night, I had these horrendous sores on the side of my tongue and under my tongue.  This morning, they are completely gone.  The pain shooting in my leg (remember, *this* is the neuropathy problem they warned me would happen in my *hands and feet* - but, it has hit ME in the one leg!!!) was just awful last night and is nothing more than a little tender or bruised feeling today.

                            

  How can something be so exaggerated but 12 hours later be minuscule???  The human body is an amazing thing and I find it fascinating . . . but, admittedly, I'm clueless as to what is going on or what to expect next  (beside being healed, of course).

  I have such a curious mind, I think this is bothering me because I can't figure out what my body is doing to repair itself and what I can do to help it.  I'm beginning to think I can do nothing and the ride is a roller coaster ride - never knowing what lies around the next bend in the road.

                               

  Well, thankfully, I'm feeling much better today (a bit sleepy!!!) and I'm not uncomfortable.  I guess that's the positive thing and the thing on which I'll concentrate . . . . until I figure out if I can sit in the den or should stay in bed today!!!

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 12:19 pm
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