June 2, 2009

• The Longest Night of My WHOLE Life!

  Short of labor, almost 31 years ago, last night was the longest night of my whole life!!!  I haven't slept well the past few nights (a common side effect after all the heavy, duty chemo) and was feeling quite sleepy yesterday evening.  My eyes even burned because I was so sleepy.  I was sure I'd be able to fall asleep at 8:45pm and went back to bed. 

  9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12 midnight, 1 o'clock, (I got up and took a sleeping pill - Ambien) and got back in bed to wait.  I prayed for myself.  I prayed for many of you that read my blog.  I prayed for others.  I waited.  I put on my headphones and listened to a full CD of "Quiet Beauty" by James Todd, and STILL I didn't fall asleep.  So, I waited some more. 

                                        
                                                   Marie brought me three pretty roses yesterday morning.

  2 o'clock arrived and so did unbelievable hunger!  2:10am I got up, as I was beginning to see lightning, which made me curious, AND, I was no longer able to resist the urge for a fat peanut butter and jelly sandwich! 

  Never (and I mean NEVER), in all my years, have I EVER (not once!) gotten up to eat in the middle of the night except for a few crackers on an unsettled stomach.  I guess there's a first time for everything!!!  I *did* EAT last night.  Unfortunately, I woke up Jesse.  I felt bad, but was on a mission.  I had an incredible urge to make the biggest sandwich my white bread could hold!  I don't know that I didn't swallow it in 3 or 4 bites.  It was the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'd ever had in my whole life!

    
                 Evidence of a middle of the night snack - peanut butter, a knife, and the jelly spoon!

  I went back to bed with a Compazine, thinking it would make me sleepy.  It (or something) finally did and it was near 3am when I fell asleep.  Not an easy task.  I had also awoken Chirper, whose little whiskers were right in my face, trying to smell the peanut butter on my breath, as I pushed him away and tried to fall asleep!  He finally settled down .  . .  and, so did I.

  I so dislike insomnia.  It's with me on a good night, but last night it was a miserable thing to endure, because I was already sleep deprived.  As the drugs leave my body, the sleeplessness will turn itself around - AND, they tell me this was the last time I would have to take the Decadron that makes me so hyper.  The next drug won't require Decadron to abate side effects of the chemo.  HOORAY FOR THAT!

  I woke up early this morning (7 something) when I heard Jesse turning his deodorant stick.  It sounded much louder than it was, but I don't think I was sleeping that hard when I DID sleep.  I woke up again around 8:20am and he told me he HAD to leave.  I got up.

  I am struggling to wake up with lots of coffee.  I sure wish I was able to nap during the day more easily.  It just doesn't happen for me very often.
                         

  The night before, we ate a little early,  thanks to a church friend, Lisa, who brought two deliciously, smoked chickens and some potatoes & green beans.  She all but begged me to let her help me with ANYTHING.  I thought about her offer to help last night, while I tossed and turned.    Her words were so sincere and really gave me something to think about, as she explained to me that helping me helped *her* to be a servant of God's.  SO TRUE!!!!  Several times she said, "PLEASE, call me for anything . . . ANYTHING!!!   I'll even read to you, if you want me to read a book.  ANYTHING!"  Such a servants heart!  I'm used to *serving* and thought I'd gotten better at *receiving,* but it's still so hard.

  Right before dinner, Jesse took a shower, got the food ready for dinner, and on the table.  He gave me the signal at the dinner table "Spring Fling" would happen after the dishes were cleaned.  And it did.

  He had taken the 3 gift bags from my closet and put them in the den - so tempting!!!! - and when the girls inquired about the gifts, Jesse told them we were having company.  He further explained (lied????!!!!!), the people had three children and the gifts were for their children.  My children, knowing we give things to people all the time, never batted an eye.  They only asked if they knew the children and dh's affirmative response was, "Yes!  You know them very well!" 

  No further questions, but many looks among themselves as to WHICH 3 children might be coming!  It was SO VERY perfect!  Jesse is more creative than I when it comes to generating excitement and anticipation .  I just wrap the stuff, plan the party or event, and worry about minor details to the "enth" degree!

       
    
  Chirper began to examine the packages again and Sushi & Stormy were seen prowling around a package or two!  Everyone (pet wise) loves tissue paper!!!

  Finally, Jesse brought my camera to me in the den and asked the girls to go out on the front porch.  Such obedient girls, they did as they were asked! 

  Through the door, he hollered, "Knock on the door.  Ring the door bell."  They did that, too! 

  He opened the door and said, "Well hellll-oooo!  What a surprise!  Please come in!!!!  Make yourselves comfortable in the den!" 

  And, curiously, they crept into the den with silly grins on their faces (still not sure what was going on!).

                               
                      (Excuse the straggly girls - they'd played in the sprinkler and a mud hole all afternoon!!!)

  I asked them to have a seat, as we had a surprise for them.  Giggles abounded.
    
  Their Daddy came in & sat with them.  Then I broke the news, "HAPPY SPRING FLING, GIRLS!!!!!!"  Their eyes popped!  Jesse handed out the gifts and the unwrapping began!

    

                                          

  They were each pleased with their 4 new shirts and outside play stuff.  They each got bubbles, a bubble wand, a jump rope, 3D sidewalk chalk with 3D glasses, regular sidewalk chalk, and an inner tube for the pool.  I have a children's horseshoe set put aside in Jesse's closet that I forgot to pull out.  I kept it separate since there was only one set and I like everything in gift bags to be fair.

  They ran outside to try the 3D chalk and lots of "oohs and ahhhh's" were heard from the patio.  I was too weak to go outside to take pictures, but I could see the wand's gigantic bubbles floating past the den's window.  The bubble wand was a hit!
                                        
                                               Remnants of the Day.  Wasn't that the name of a movie????

  Seeing Chirper's picture, above, reminds me.  He has a message for his Auntie JoJo!!!!

    
  I miss my Auntie JoJo SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!                            Where are you, Auntie JoJo????
  
    
  "They aren't feeding me or spoiling me.                                 And, I want my BIG GULP CUP!!!!"

  The only thing on my agenda, today, is to take a relaxing bath.  Marie came a little late this morning, but I've been piddling on here while she has been on a phone call.  If I take my bath, maybe I can relax a bit today and just kind of "hang out." 

  It DID storm a bit last night and we have storms predicted through tomorrow, so the girls are playing with their bubbles.  I've asked them to save the 3D chalk (you can't buy it alone - it has to be purchased WITH the glasses) for a day when the rain doesn't wash away their artistic endeavors!

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 12:02 pm
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