April 16, 2009

• GOOD MORNING!!!!!

  I'm up bright and early this morning.  I went to bed after dinner last night.  I listened to a CD (Stephanie & JanaLyn gave me for my birthday) with the headphones Rissy gave me (the big ones I mentioned the other day that are like big sponge cups over my ears).  The CD was picked especially for me by JanaLyn.  It has songs from movies, performed by piano and cello.  I'm not familiar with all of the songs, but the music is VERY relaxing!

  Not knowing how chemo will make me feel today, I fixed a turkey breast for dinner last night, with baked sweet potatoes, mixed vegetables, and cranberry sauce.  THEN,  Jesse made a trip to our local ice cream store (Braum's) for a banana split for me.  I am lactose intolerant and, even with Lactaid, ice cream almost always gives me digestive problems.  Last night, I had none!!!  Praise God for *that* miracle He performed!!!

  I'm not sure what time I fell asleep.  I had planned on taking a pain pill at bed time but fell asleep.  I woke up at midnight with my incision sites bothering me (tender and stinging).  I took one pain pill and one again around 4am.  My neck and clavicle area began swelling late last night.  Swallowing makes me feel like I have the mumps on the right side of my throat.  It isn't terribly painful, just swollen and (I guess) "lumpy" feeling.

     I don't think I mentioned that Jesse shaved his hair down to a stubble and shaved off his beard.  He did it for me, since my hair will soon be gone, unless God miraculously glues it inside my skull by the roots!  Annamarie enjoys rubbing her hands over his "new length" and I (half asleep) rubbed his head the night he shaved and commented, "It feels just like an otter."  An *otter*????!!!!  I'm not sure I'd even recognize *an otter* if I saw a picture of one!!!  I meant to say "beaver," as in a soft beaver cowboy hat; but, as I said, I was half asleep when he showed me what he had done.

  Yesterday, I woke up in the operating room (it's hard to sedate me and I have always awakened from surgery earlier than hospital staff expects) and was begging for a drink or piece of ice.  That explained I was still in the O.R. and they had nothing to offer.  PLUS . . . they had to take an x-ray of the port to be sure it was in the right place.  I began offering money in exchange for a drink to the nurse who was assigned to me.  I started at $25, went up to $50, and then $100!!!  She laughed, but refused me a drink, insisting I wait for the x-ray.  She rolled my bed to the recovery room and I upped my offer to $200 and the nurse said, "If you have the money on you, I'd be happy to give you some ice for $200!!!"  I explained I didn't actually *HAVE* it on me, but was an honest person and could back up my mouth - but, it was a no go!

  Soon after the x-ray, I was taken to the family area where you and your bed are placed in a cubicle. There sat Jesse.  I was offered a package of saltine crackers or a package of graham crackers - my choice.  I think I rolled my eyes and mentioned something about cruel and unusual punishment and reiterated my need for *WATER* again!  She laughed.  I explained to Jesse how thirsty I was (tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth thirsty) and my nurse quickly brought me a 32oz cup with lid & straw.  I came so very close to worshipping her!!!  I wasn't there long before she allowed me to sit up and get dressed.  She couldn't believe I was navigating as well as I was and cautioned me about doing a number of things (the usual check list they give you before releasing you from the hospital) and one of the things listed was, "Do not make any decisions or sign any papers for 24 hours."  My most major decision planned was which new nightgown to change into when I got home!

    
  Jesse and me with all of the children (last week)  - Nikki and Jaiden are in the second picture.  JanaLyn is going through a phase where she doesn't smile for the camera unless you remind (make) her!

  When I got home from the hospital, I changed into one of my nightgowns, I ate a few chocolate chip cookies and a banana, then I began to feel dizzy or nauseous.  I wasn't sure which, so I requested a "throw-up basin" (which, thankfully, wasn't needed) and laid down.  I sleep for about 2 hours.  AND, I felt fine when I woke up.  Of course, I was drinking water like a thirsty fish!

    
  Brother-in-law, Richard, with his family.  Their littlest, Kathleen, is three.  Our granddaughter, Jaiden, is four.  Granddaughter, JanaLyn, is five.  Our *own* youngest girls are: Luci who is 6, Rissy 8, and Annamarie 9.  Talk about a stairstep set of little girls!  They had the best time together, as did we with our house full of company.  Poor Thomas (the only boy) stayed buried in his Leapster or Ninetendo DS games most of the time!  Can't say I blame him!!!

  My "wounds" are more sore today and my neck and clavicle area are squishy swollen.  When I go for my first chemo treatment today, they will take off all the tape and disengage the needle and tubing.  I'm supposed to put an antibiotic ointment on me and lightly cover the stitches.  Yesterday afternoon, JoAnn brought me a frozen package of corn to hold on my neck, to keep the swelling at a minimum.  I'll be glad to get all of the tubes and tape off of me.  I can't tell what is restricting my movement:  the tape or the swelling and pain.  Maybe it's both.

  I set up a TV tray in my bedroom next to my nightstand (which is really my mother's mahogany sewing machine cabinet) and put my boom box and some CD's with my headphones there.  I made the nightstand a little more tidy, so I won't knock over anything if I'm resting and reach for a pen or chap stick.  I don't plan to spend a lot of time in bed, but I want things to be convenient if I need to lie down and rest.
  
  
    
  Rissy, Jaiden, Kathleen, Luci, and Annamarie in the front row of the second picture.

  I was able to ask the surgeon (before surgery) what exactly was the plan for me regarding a calendar for chemo & surgery.  She said the "plan" was for 4 chemo rounds, then surgery, then 4 more chemo rounds.  I told her I didn't know why I couldn't get the events straight and she assured me that it was unknown exactly WHAT would happen and WHEN.  She said things might change, but that was the plan or approach she had in mind.  At least I know I'm not going crazy or losing my mind regarding planning.  She said the reason I couldn't remember "the plan" was because it DID keep changing!  That was a relief to hear - usually it's ME and my forgetfulness!

  

  Stephanie and I met up on Tuesday.  She owed me some money (I pay her bills online since she doesn't have a computer, and she pays me the cash) and we sat in the car talking for quite a while.  She's feeling a need to "buddy up" to her little sisters more than she has in the past.  She wants to see them once a week and take them to a park, or to McDonald's to play and even to her apartment pool in the summer.  She wants them to feel comfortable with her if they need to talk or have any fears or questions about me.  Also, Nikki left them her phone number and told the little ones they could call any time they needed or wanted to.  I'm glad to see the older girls caring for the younger girls.  It's something I've always hoped would happen.  I know it's tough with the huge gap in ages and the miles between Nikki and our home, but the older ones are kind of shepherding the younger ones and it warms my heart immensely.

  Nothing planned for "Today's To Do List" as I don't know exactly what to expect.  I talked with our 3 girls last night (while I hogged down my banana split!!!!) and told them I *might* feel nauseated or throw up, but the doctor would give me medicine to keep those side effects to a minimum.  Mainly, I wanted them to know that if I cried, they shouldn't worry.

  

  I told them I leanred from my long battle with pneumonia in 2007 that when I feel frustrated, I begin to cry.  Not being one to cry very often (like hardly ever), my crying in 2007 sent them into a panic and Rissy called her dad and sister (Stephanie) and told them to get home quick! 

  I explained that a lot of noise from the TV and our bird chattering, my trying to fill a cup of water, the phone ringing, and one of them asking me a question (all at the same time) might be too much activity for my brain and I might start crying.  I told them crying was good for me and they shouldn't feel like they need to stop me or "fix" me.  I hope they understood.  I handle a multitude of things daily, all at the same time, and that's how they see me - a multi-tasker.  My crying is something that just doesn't happen except for once or twice a year - if it even happens that often.  I think it scares them because I appear to always be in control - despite me spinning *inside* when things pile up.
  

                                                                                              Today's "Where's Waldo" pet picture!
  
  

  We'll see what today and the next few days bring to me.  Tomorrow, I'll have to go back and receive that injection to encourage my white blood cells to regenerate.

  Be Blessed  ~

                                            
  

  • 8:35 am
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