April 3, 2009

• Feeling Like Myself Again

  Yesterday was a long one for me.  I woke up tired. 

  I went to the hospital (had to be there at 7:30am), came home and ate my banana (had no time at the hospital) and had another cup of coffee.  It didn't help!

  Jesse had taken Rissy for her physical therapy appointment and they told him her leg braces would be done in two weeks, AND, if next week was too hectic for us, he could cancel her P.T. appointment.

  He left there and took the girls to Burger King before going to the airport to pick up JoAnn.

  I left here a little bit before the plane arrived to head west to our county's Department of Human Services office to apply for food stamps.  I was told I'd have to drop off the folder containing our information, but they asked me to wait (under our family's circumstances) and they got me in without an appointment after I waited about 40 minutes - time I spent relaxing and reading.

  The caseworker tried every way to approve us (really nice caseworker) and said if we didn't claim the girls, she could get us $66 a month in aid.  BUT . . . we would have to keep that $66 worth of food separate, and no one but Jesse and I could eat it. 

  Then, since JoAnn is living here as a caregiver without pay, SHE could apply for assistance, but she would have to keep HER food separate from the rest of us. 

  I looked at her and said, "That's not going to happen.  She is here to cook for our family and we will all sit at the same table and eat the same food.  There's no way we would eat our allotted food stamp food individually."  She said, "Well, is there any way you could keep it separate and just drink the milk or eat the eggs for yourself and the rest of the family could prepare their food separately?"  She was really wanting to help and I could tell by her face she was urging me to say yes we would separate *some* things.  I couldn't do it.

  I told her, "I can't lie to you.  We won't be dividing food, we will be sharing it.  We do everything as a family and meals is one thing that we do every single day - ALL OF US . . . as a family.  I'm not going to lie to you just to be approved for assistance.  I can't lie."  Her face looked at me incredulously because I was being honest.   I guess most people say, "Okay," get their assistance, and go on their merry way with the caseworkers all KNOWING they are lying.  All the caseworker needs  is an affirmation that "the rules" won't be broken.

  I thanked her and said I was sorry to come in without an appointment and take up her time.  She felt SO BAD for turning me down, I could tell.  With the girls being included, we were $11 dollars *over* in our income (because of their adoption subsidy money we receive) to be approved, and she hating telling me so.  I told her everything would work out and I felt blessed by the medical coverage I just found out I would be receiving.  AND, I told her how kind everyone has been, and I included her.

  I drove home and shortly after eating a cheap Burger King burger and two stale donuts, Jesse, JoAnn, and the girls arrived.  BIG HUGS for JoAnn!!!!

  We talked a little and then I proceeded to make a chicken stir fry dinner.  I was so sleepy, and I think I cooked asleep, while standing on my feet.  I remember guiding Rissy through instructions and writing down the recipe for her, but I was so blurry-eyed and sleep deprived.  I know my fatigue made my face look haggard.

    

  
  I cooked and Rissy snapped away with the camera.
  

  I got the angel hair pasta going while the stir fried food was on its last leg of being cooked. 
  
  And, JoAnn came out to see the process and ask if I used olive oil (I do). 

  Like I said, I was so sleepy, I almost felt like crying - like a baby who has gone way past nap time! 
                                     
  My face looks pretty rough - lots of saggy skin and bags under my eyes.  But, I smiled anyway! 

  Rissy finally offered to finish up the skillet stuff while I finished writing the recipe card for her - such a helper!!!
                                     

  We ate and I told everyone to rinse off their plates and just stack them on the side of the sink.  The dishwasher was full of clean dishes.  Annamarie offered to put them away, but I was too tired to even *contemplate* loading the dishwasher.  Despite training my girls in household chores, I still win (hands down) when it comes to efficiently cramming more in the dishwasher than anyone else.  Jesse says he doesn't know how I do it!

  We sat in the den (Jesse, JoAnn, & I) and I began to feel like I was fading fast.  I went back and changed into my nightgown, Jesse suggested I go to bed, but I wanted to stay up and hear him & JoAnn talk.  I bet I was on the sofa (on my side with my hands curled under my cheek) for 10 minutes before falling into a deep sleep.  Since I was on my side, Chirper was balanced on my hip sleeping.  Jesse said JoAnn said, "I have to admit, he *is* kinda cute!"

  I'm sure I was snoring when Jesse woke me up and helped me back to bed.  It was 2 minutes before the news, and I told him to turn on the TV so I could watch the news.  I never made it!  I slept well until 6:00 this morning when some little cat woke me up with his whiskers.  At least I feel normal today and not so overwhelmed with everything.

  Nikki and her family arrive on Monday.  Then, I found out, Jesse's 1/2 brother, wife and their 3 children will also be here next week.  They are traveling from the east coast to see my father-in-law in Amarillo.  They need a place to stay for one (maybe 2, at the longest) nights.  JoAnn has said she'll go stay at her and Jesse's mother's house, which means a queen bed will be free in Rissy's room.  I guess their children can sleep on the floor.  I don't plan on entertaining or cooking like I normally would do.  I still have quite a few things I need to do before my surgery. 

  Never a dull moment around here, is there?

  Today's To Do List:
  *  Shower and wash my hair
  *  Divide that ground turkey meat I bought Wednesday and freeze it!!!!
  *  Begin a list of questions for my surgeon appointment on Tuesday
  *  Clean and put away those stupid vaporizers that are STILL in the bedrooms
  *  Go over homeschool books with JoAnn & show her how I do lesson plans
  *  Take JoAnn with me to the girls' therapy appointment this afternoon - she will have to drive them in the future

  Be Blessed  ~
  

  • 11:00 am
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