Not looking forward to this, but trying to keep things in perspective. 

*  I'm glad for modern medicine and the availability of chemo drugs.

*  I'm glad I have children who know how to help with household duties.

*  I'm glad my sister-in-law is here to ground me and keep things moving.

*  I'm glad that I love the gal who administers my chemo drugs.  I've requested her personally for each treatment.

*  I'm glad everyone who reads my blog is praying . . . Your prayers mean a lot to me!

Give me a chance to get through the eyesight problem and speeding brain "thing" and I'll be back on here again soon!

Be blessed  ~

My hair started falling out yesterday evening, after I took a late shower.  Not in masses, but quite a few strands in my hairbrush every time I brushed my dry hair.  I guess you have to have "masses of hair" for it to fall out in chunks, which I was warned would happen.  I've started wearing a loose ponytail to keep from shedding all over the house and, worst of all, in the kitchen.  It's a gradually thinning each time I brush.  It will probably look like more at the end of each day if I keep it banded in a pony tail elastic and only brush in the evenings and mornings.  I'm saving what I can in case I can glue it to a cap to wear around the house.  A little hair, with no hot wig, for the days when I go no where.  I'm pretty creative, so I just might find a way to make my own human hair "wiglet" with my own hair and natural color.

                                  
                                          (What is left, this morning, of my length and volume of hair.)

And, what I have collected:
                                   
It doesn't look like much - but, the truth is, I don't have much to begin with!  If it continues at this pace, I think I can deal with the "gradual" shedding.  Everyone around here is being really sensitive to what I might be feeling, since this was a big deal to me (losing my hair).  Rissy casually said, "You'll be fine.  And you are beautiful anyway.  Besides, it will grow back someday - you KNOW it will."  Such a sweet encourager!

While I was in the bathroom trying to take a picture of myself in the mirror, Stormy came to eat her kibble.  We have hers and Chirper's separated so he doesn't pass his feline leukemia to her.  We put an empty bowl on top of her kibble when she isn't eating.  They are both fed a divided small can of moist food at night.  Kibble is the day time snack!

Spoke to my primary care physician today about taking some medicine the dentist gave me that might help me get more sleep after chemo.  It's Halcion and it doesn't put me to sleep at dental appointments (I take TWO before an appointment), but it might work if I'm lying in a dark room at night instead of a dentist's chair!!!  It's worth a try and I have five pills left, so that should get me through the five days after chemo that are so hard for me and my *usual* insomnia problem.  She also told me if it DOESN'T work, I may have to suffer through the insomnia for those days each month.  I pray it DOES help.  Five hours of uninterrupted sleep would be of great benefit!  BTW, I don't know if I'll post much the day after chemo or over the weekend.  The Decadron affects my eye sight and concentration.  We'll just have to see - but please don't worry or wonder what happened to me.  I'm not very cognitive with all of those drugs in me!

With the rain falling, Sushi is unable to go outside.  She doesn't even like wet pavement or grass.  She used Rissy's hot pink shag rug this morning (guess it felt like the lawn!!!) and Jesse was furious.  Sampson doesn' t like the rain, either, but he WILL go quickly and come back in when it's sprinkling.  Sushi is no longer sleeping in the crate (which is too small, anyway) and she has a new bed on the floor by Jesse's side of the bed.

Annamarie is going for a hearing test next week.  It seems as though her "bad ear infection" might have damaged her hearing.  Either that, or she has another infection or (and it IS possible!!!!) she is ignoring us!!!  We'll know for sure next week.

I have calls out to many people (had to hunt down the primary care physician this morning for a third time!!!!) and wish people would return my calls, so I can close those thoughts.  Especially if tomorrow's chemo will put me on another wild spin.  I don't need anything more on the endless lists I went through last treatment.  I am hoping that this time the treatment won't feel as crazy, because I'll be expecting similar reactions.  AND, that surgery the day before could have really messed with me - as well as the chemo treatment.

Things are off kilter here because Jesse is home today.  He can't mow in the rain!!!  TV's are on that wouldn't normally be on in the den - a common area.  Rissy and Luci are listening/watching a Broadway Musical performance of "Into the Woods" with Bernadette Peters.  So, singing is coming from our master bedroom!  The washer is going (a chug chugging sound) and all pets are quiet and happy.

Although it's taking me a long time to read the book I've listed for the past 92 million years J(!!!!), I'm enjoying it very much.  I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys reading about life in the late 1800's.  You can probably read the story line from the link at the top of my posts.

                                 
                                                         (Sushi and Chirper - friends forever!)

Be blessed  ~

Jesse and JoAnn are gone with Luci.   She had a recheck at the doctor's office, which he does every 3 months to be sure her medication is the right stuff and at the right levels.  She's done so well.  The only time she cries uncontrollably is in the late afternoons and we can pretty much tell she needs a nap - and that happens maybe twice a week.  She cries herself to sleep and, after an hour of sleeping hard, we have to wake her up.  She's doing really well in school and takes verbal correction fairly well, and is needing less and less spankings and time-outs.  Things are good with her.  I figured I didn't need to be in a doctor's office with sick people, especially with this new SWINE FLU - which is in the states south & north of us!  It's just a matter of time before we see it - being a state sandwiched in the middle.

I still have all of my hair.  A few extra strands have fallen out in my brush each day.  Since I changed to wearing a kerchief with snap clips to hold it in place, the hair over my ears has broken off short.  But, that's from the snap clips and not the chemo drugs.  Same thing happened years ago and that's the reason I changed the style of headcoverings to a Mennonite cap.  I have the wig ready to be styled and worn.  I may have to hold off on wearing the wig at first.  I understand that a "newly bald" head will be tender.  But the platinum wig is ready when I am!  About the time I stop chemo and have finished my surgery, it will be close to fall and the wig won't seem so hot.

Be Blessed  ~

I'm getting lots of sleep these nights and feeling pretty good!  I VERY MUCH appreciate these good days!

                                    
                                                                (My under the desk helper!)

JoAnn and I are going to take Annamarie to our (new) local Target and see if there are any summer clothes (reasonably priced) that would suit her.  I've also discovered the girls are growing out of all of their shoes.  I thought I had bought more (in bigger sizes) in advance, but I was wrong.  I don't have many new shoes to choose from in the closet.  We just need plain white tennis (athletic?) shoes - no frills.  Do you know how hard it is to find children's shoes in plan white?  Next to impossible!

                                 
                                                       (What's left of my birthday flowers!)

Yesterday morning, I popped a pork roast in the oven with some halved, raw potatoes before going to church.  I also peeled and chopped big carrot chunks and boiled them halfway before leaving.  What a glorious smell when we returned home!  It was liked walking into my grandparent's house when I was little.  Dinner made and not much work to do to get in on the table!  We had to heat up some sweet Hawaiian rolls in the microwave and open a few cans of fruit to mix together.  I made gravy and it was time to eat!  Yum!  I could actually TASTE everything I ate!  Don't take your sense of taste for granted - not if you like to eat!!!

Since my next chemo appointment (as long as my blood count is good) is Thursday, I'm eating in all of my favorite foods over the next 3 days!  I'm fixing ham, scalloped potatoes, and seasoned green beans for dinner tonight.  I haven't had a baked ham in years.  We quit eating pork, but (with the high cost of everything) have added it back into our diet in small amounts.  The fact we're having pork 2 times in a week, much less back to back days, is highly unusual for us.  Pork is a flavor I have missed.  Being a double German (both sides), pork was a staple in our family.  However, my cholesterol lowered itself considerably and I only changed my pork and shellfish consumption.  Maybe, maybe not, that is the reason for the improved cholesterol.

Tomorrow, Luci has to go to the medical doctor for her routine "how's she doing?" visit.  She goes every three months (instead of monthly) since she has been doing so well.

                                         
                                                                                       (Luci)

JanaLyn and Rob (son-in-law) came to visit us yesterday afternoon.  He's always so nice to me.  Whether or not his and Stephanie's divorce every becomes final, he's a keeper in my book!  JanaLyn had JoAnn laughing.  She calls her "Auntie JoJo" like the rest of the girls and has a cute way of saying her name.  She was real chatty with JoAnn yesterday and probed deeper and deeper into JoAnn's cat allergies.  "So, Auntie JoJo, I hear you are allergic to cats.  Is that correct?"  Funny girl!!!

                                     
                                    (Stormy with her "brights" on!  This was taken across a long room with my
                                     telephoto lens and a flash.  I had no idea the flash would bounce from her
                                                                 eyes like it did.  Spooky, no?)

We have rain in the forecast to some degree or other for the rest of the week.  We had big t-storms come through here with high winds while I was in the bathtub last night.  Kind of scary, considering we have a huge frosted window over our tub with gathered sheers - nothing to keep the glass from flying if the wind or hail blow out the window.  The intense wind made me anxious and kind of put a damper on the relaxing soak I had planned.

Today's To Do List:
*  Get dressed  (done)
*  Clean bathroom
*  Laundry  (in the process)
*  Put clean dishes away
*  Shop for Annamarie

Be Blessed  ~

Yesterday morning, I drug out the last of the girls' summer clothes (only have to go through nightgowns, now) and was dismayed at the number of useable garments.  The amount is probably sufficient and I'm basing the "piles" on "piles" from the past.  JoAnn and I drove to Wal-Mart to look for sun dresses for Annamarie to wear in the backyard.  You know? - something light weight.  We found two dresses, two blouses, and a capped sleeve t-shirt that can go under a dress with spaghetti straps, IF we go out in public.  Normally, backyard clothes (ratty, sleeveless, or short things) aren't allowed anywhere except the backyard.

We needed to buy more frozen vegetables and American cheese and Luci needed body wash (she is sensitive to soaps and still needs baby wash).  After buying Annamarie clothes (more important than the food items), we bought the next 3 things.  I took a detour to the bakery department, while JoAnn took the girls to the pet department (opposite side of the store) to buy a bigger water bowl for Sushi.  I waited for them for what felt like FOREVER and saw why they were gone so long as JoAnn and the girls approached.  Their cart was loaded with dog toys and several larger bowls!  Of course, Jesse walked in last night and "exclaimed" (I think that's the correct word for "slightly agitated or excited"!!!), "What's the deal with all the bowls and toys?  Sushi doesn't need all these toys."  I raised my eyebrows, made my brown eyes look SUPER innocent, and pointed to his sister.  Since she also paid for those items, he quickly hushed!

It was SO HOT yesterday.  I think the car's thermometer said it was 91° and it's pretty accurate 99.9% of the time.  What it doesn't measure is the humidity.  It felt like the middle of summer.  I felt really good yesterday and made dinner (barbecued beef sandwiches with Kosher dill pickles and chips) and tried to keep the temperature down in the kitchen (always the warmest spot in the house).  Tonight I'll fix baked chicken legs and breasts (some with barbecue sauce), shells & cheese, black-eyed peas, and serve it with sweet Hawaiian bread rolls.  It's only supposed to be 83° (how do they come up with those exact temps???) and much cooler next week, as far as heat.  Lots of rain, but cooler and in the 70's.

There was a lovely storm that moved through late last night.  I wasn't asleep yet and could hear the drenching rain and the small pieces of hail hitting our bedroom window.  The girls said there was lightning, but I didn't see it, nor did I hear thunder.  It sounded like one of those storms they put behind relaxation CD's.  It gave the plants and grass a long drink and today it will be dry so Jesse can mow.  He has two big commercial properties to cut today.

Talked to Nikki yesterday while I was eating my lunch (Luci and I had grilled cheese sandwiches & split an apple - yum!) and I let her talk while I chewed in her ear!  She was telling me about their car problems - one after another - and I daresay she was accurately describing the car's front metal grill as an evil smile at her as she approached it each day!  Oh, how I remember the days of one thing after another regarding car problems!  They just got their transmission fixed before visiting us and now a radiator hose has blown.

Stephanie didn't come over with a movie.  She hasn't been able to find a copy of the movie I had mentioned AND she hadn't slept well the past two nights.  That worked out fine since we wanted to try to get some clothes for Annamarie before everyone got paid today and was inspired by the warm weather to shop for summer things!

The sweetest thing happened last night.  Luci (OF ALL THE CHILDREN!!!!) started praying for me.  I had some worship music on in my boom box and the next thing I knew, she was on her face beside me praying her heart out for my healing, while her little hand reached out and touched me.  This is the child who has given us so many problems with outbursts, etc.  I told Jesse and he was so glad to hear that Luci was sensitive to me and had such a trust in God.  We've held her and prayed with her so many times for her own ailments, and this was the best fruit we've ever seen!!!  Such a surprise and so much meaning with her childlike faith behind her "fervent" prayers.

I'm going to stay home today while JoAnn takes the girls to their therapy appointment.  Just me and the crazy pets!!!  Chirper has been "visiting" Tango's cage (the cockatiel) and so the bird has been more vocal the past few days.  She calls the cat (whistles and makes kissing noises) and then screams at the cat's face that's pressed against the bars of her cage!  A little LOUD!!!!!  But, I will welcome a few hours to myself - despite the noise level at times around here!

                            
                                  (I just can't help but kiss the soft backs of Chirper's ears!)

Today's To Do List:
*  Quick bath
*  Get dressed
*  Finish Annamarie's and my laundry (almost done, now)
*  Go through Luci's and Annamarie's closet, pulling winter clothes
*  Take all three girls' winter clothes to the bins in the garage
*  Fix dinner
*  ?????

                          
                             (My kisses on his ears makes his ears go back - but I do it anyway!)

Be Blessed  ~

=======================

I slept so well last night!  HOWEVER . . . , I had lots of troubling falling asleep.  I took the recommended prescription (Ambien) and still nothing happened.  I got out of bed (while Jesse & Chirper slept so deeply, they were snoring) and got down on my knees and prayed.  Something like, "I know it's your will for me to sleep, Lord, because YOU created the days and nights here on earth with a plan of "REST" at the end of a day.  Please help me to fall asleep and quit making lists of nonsensical things in my head." 

I went through the 23rd Psalm out loud on my knees and spoke to God about how HE said he would make me "lie down in *green pastures* (not briars and thickets full of thorns) and He leads me beside *still waters* (not tempests or stormy seas)" . . .   After the end of my praying, I got in bed and fell asleep shortly after that.  I woke up at 7:30am this morning!  A true miracle and answer to prayer!!!

                                        
                                                  (Some of the flowers salvaged from my two bouquets
                                                       from my sister, Nancy, and sister-in-law, Angie)

Annamarie is fine after yesterday's emergency opthalmology trip downtown.    She has a tear (rip?) either in the cornea or lens (can't remember which, both sound dangerous but are common injuries) and didn't even need to wear her patch home.  The doctor said Jesse and JoAnn did the right thing by cleaning her eye with saline, putting whatever they did into the eye, and covering it overnight.  The doctor told Annamarie to wear sunglasses outside and not play hard for the rest of the day (something about eye pressure).  She has an opthalmic RX to use through the end of week and no limits on playing from today onward.

                                                        
                                                                  (Me, last week, by Rissy. 
                                                                     Over exposed lighting -
                                                        but, me and the last of my "new looks"!)

I washed my hair yesterday in the shower.  Quite likely it was for the last time.  Rissy took pictures of me with my long hair - for posterity.  I won't show those pictures. First of all, I don't have tons of "gorgeous" hair, but it's MY hair and I've made it a practice to only let my husband and family (or those staying in our home overnight) see my hair.  No Biblical reason, I just made the decision to keep my long hair (hanging down my back) for my husband's sight.  Unless God desires to do a miracle by allowing the chemo to NOT rob me of my hair - these are the final days for me.

Anyway, my sweet friend received my overnight mailed "sleep cap" (a soft knit cap people without hair wear at night) and quickly (in a matter of hours) made me two kerchief style coverings to be worn with my wig and a duplicate of the sleep cap.  Then, she went back to the post office and sent it all back (overnight) to me.  It's perfect (like everything else she has sewn for us) and I feel as prepared as I can be.  Around the house I can wear the white sleep cap with a Lancaster Amish covering, which makes me feel better.  It may look goofy to others, but it's a lightweight covering over my "new hair" (which will be those "white" sleep caps) around the house or when I go for chemo.  It definitely makes the statement, "I am a Christian and Christian's lives aren't always full of perfection."  I think the knit cap will clearly show I'm a chemo patient, but the covering somehow adds dignity to me.  It's not a salavation issue (covering or hair) but is an important thing to me and, well . . . I don't know . . .  I may not be explaining this topic well at all.  Especially to those of you who don't even know WHY I (or others) wear a covering.  Suffice it to say, covering is important to me.

Soooooo, I suspect there will be tears when the time comes (IF it comes) to lose it all.  It's the only painful issue I've had to deal with, and I'm sure everyone looks at me and thinks, "With her diagnosis, how in the world can hair supersede all else?"   I don't know.  It just does.  But . . . I'm getting closer to being okay with saying good-bye, if I have to.  "Okay"   NOT,   "thrilled"

Stephanie called yesterday and she asked if she could rent a movie and JoAnn, me and her watch it this afternoon.  JanaLyn will be with her dad after school.  It's not a movie I want the girls to see - "Doubt" with Merle Streep.  I also hope it doesn't have offensive parts that I have to tune out and turn my eyes from.  The entire subject is so horrible (exposing abuse of young boys at the hands of priests, etc.), but I'm hoping the cast and director's names mean that integrity has been woven into the making of the movie.  I'm not a huge movie watcher and we NEVER go to a theater.  We rent.  Usually, by the time they are available to rent, I've forgotten that I've wanted to see a particular movie.

                             
                                             (three weeks old - can you believe it?!)

Jesse left this morning to mow.  He doesn't have a whole lot to do, right now.  The late, bitter freeze we had slowed down the growth of the new grass.  But, with rain likely each day next week, things will soon be hopping for him.  He's worried about no work coming in, but late April and a lack of work is common each year.  I've been trying to remind him that he gets spooked this time each year.

Today's To Do List:
*  Go through more of the girls' summer clothes boxes for lightweight dresses/clothing
*  Ummmm . . . .let's see . . .
*  Watch a movie with JoAnn and Stephanie this morning
*  Oh yeah - Get dressed

and . . . I think that's about it for today.  I actually feel cognitive and able to concentrate but have nothing to do that's pressing.  Chirper needs the vet to clip his nails, but Jesse said he would take him in next week (perfect job for him to do on a rainy day).

Be Blessed  ~

ALSO, I'm going to print a disclaimer today:  Chemo brain means fuzzy thinking and squinty eye sight.  Typos go uncaught and words come out of my fingers that aren't what I intend to type.  It IS (and will become MORE) tedious to try to edit my blogs for perfectionism (that trait I'm learning to let go of) and so I will just say, 

                           I HOPE WHAT I TYPE, FROM NOW ON, IS CLEAR ENOUGH TO READ! 

I don't want to stop blogging and having fun because I'm feeling stress about catching all errors.  AND, I need to be doing other things besides spending my time editing a short blog spot for errors.
 

Last night, Jesse had the girls moving firewood (I guess AWAY from the house) and Annamarie ended up with something in her right eye.  I was totally unable to help her and (AGAIN) was so glad (sil) JoAnn was here to help Jesse.  Annamarie is at the state's best "Eye Institute" this morning (with Jesse & JoAnn) to see if she has a foreign body lodged in her eye.   We tried to rinse it with saline, put a soothing ointment in her eye, and cover it with a patch; but, we felt it was best for her to be seen PROFESSIONALLY this morning.  With her PDD, she isn't understanding what is happening to her and wants the patch off so she can go outside and play.  Last night, she thought she was being punished and cried when we asked her to lie down and listen to music.  She has no depth perception with one eye covered, and we didn't want her falling over something or getting a headache from watching TV.  It's tough - explaining just enough to her for her to be able to understand what's happening and not TOO MUCH information so that she becomes scared.  I tried to explain that if she heard the doctor use the word "SURGERY" today, it didn't mean they would cut her eye - just "remove something" and that's considered "surgery" in the world of an eye doctor.

HEL-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Wednesday!  Or, is it "really" Saturday?!!!

After the thrift stores, which I navigated through very shakily and SLOWLY, we went to Wal-Mart.  Although I had a short list and intended on breezing in and out of there, Jesse didn't realize how weak I was and how hard it was for me to be patient while he read the packaged details of GE light bulbs vs. Great Value Wal-Mart brand light bulbs.  I began to feel like I was going to crater as we stood in the light bulb aisle.  Then, an overwhelming smell came over me. 

Sun tan lotion?  Nooooo . . .   What was that smell? 

I leaned against a support pole that held up the roof (and, now, me) and covered my nose.  The smell was intense.  Then I looked at the pole.  It was a pole with a scanner for the customer to do a price check AND a set of wipes were affixed next to the scanner (approximately 1 inch from my nose)!  Aha!  The culprit!  I kept thinking they smelled like a pina colada drink and then wondered how I knew what a pina colada smelled like, AND . . . why *anyone* would use a coconut scent on industrial clean up wipes. 

Last night I took a bath and used my Jergens Shea Butter Lotion and there was that sweet smell again.  I thought, "Oh no!  And, *I* have to sleep with me!" 

But, the fragrance soon faded and I, again, was left to contemplate the offensive Wal-Mart wipe fragrance.  I assume there was something in Wal-Mart's wipes to softened the skin.

I made it through the detergent aisle (which used to smell good and fresh to me) and the next battle was the coffee aisle.  Coffee wouldn't have been bad to smell, but French vanilla and hazelnut were predominant scents, and I tried to breathe through my mouth so I wouldn't have to bury my face in my sleeve.

Like I said, we made it through Wal-Mart with me clinging to the cart for support and trying to breath deeply.  I never felt nauseous enough to throw up.  I just had an offended sense of smell and broke out in a sweat trying to walk for exercise and not moan, "Eeeewwww" every other aisle we walked!  I guess that would be called, "Nausea with dignity"???!!!

I'm determined to get SOME exercise each day and to get dressed - even if it's 2pm by the time I finally get my clothes on.  At least they will last longer that way!!!

I have Luci's laundry in the washer and have pulled a few "summer" clothes from our garage clothes bins.  It's supposed to be 90° today.  A few more days of that and then we'll bump back to more "usual temps" and some rain, maybe, this weekend.

Be Blessed  ~

                                                                            (The "snake"!!!)  

I have plans to go with the family to Wal-Mart to shop for groceries (only a few things) and then to a thrift store or two to look for tops (and maybe skirts) for Annamarie.  She has almost NOTHING to wear this summer and I don't have much to pull out of the attic storage bins, anymore.  I used to buy (in advance) bigger sizes, but no longer do.  The thrift store is more important to me than the grocery trip, because my family can shop without me for the groceries.  I am particular about the girls' clothing and want to have some input when selecting modest tops - tops that are almost impossible to buy NEW, these days!

                                      
                                                             (Why such a snaking cat, you ask?)

Had an unpleasant experience last night.  So glad (sil) JoAnn was here.  I'm better today, but a little shaky and weak.  I think my blood sugar or electrolytes were messed up and caused some scary things to happen.  I had to really fight fear for an hour or two.  Just weird symptoms.  Despite feeling "hollow" (does that make sense?) today, I feel like I need to get up and go if I can, rather than lay around. 

                                      
                                                (Stormy had spotted Rissy and wanted some one on one!)

Last night, I fell asleep before 10pm and, with some broken sleep, woke up at 5am.  Not too bad, considering how little sleep I've been getting.  I think some fresh air today and a "little" walking will be good for me.  Focusing on Annamarie's needs, and not my own, will also be good for me.

JoAnn took the girls to the park yesterday.  They all agreed Sushi would have had a blast.  I'm sure she would have, but I don't know if dogs are allowed in our local park.  Maybe it's okay if they are on a leash.  She hasn't used a leash much, so if they DO take her with them - it might be a very interesting experience (for Sushi AND for spectators)!  Sushi has been unbelievably gentle with me and I've become quite attached to her.  She's settled down quite a bit from her puppy antics . . . HOWEVER . . . yesterday, she was in Rissy's room and bit through her electric blanket cord and plug!  Ruined it.  It would be too dangerous to try to salvage the cords.  Rissy said, "And here I thought she was being good because she was so quiet while I was reading!"

                                       
                                                        (A rare moment of affection displayed by Stormy!)

Yesterday, I got the rest of Jesse's laundry done and washed the remainder of my button-down-the-front dresses and hung them in my closet.  I also talked with the oncologist's nurse.  The "real plan" (rolling my eyes, yet AGAIN) is for me to have 8 doses of chemo, then a scan, and THEN surgery.  Can't remember if I wrote about that yesterday or not.  That makes me feel better.  Somehow the chemical side effects of chemo don't make me as apprehensive as having surgery.  I've never been one to heal easily after surgery, so maybe that's where that apprehension comes from.  Also, that postpones surgery until later in the summer (maybe even first of September) when we'll have more time to plan for my care.

                  
                        Sweet little (or, NOT so "little") Chirper.

My little buddy, Chirper, has been by my side for the past few weeks.  How do animals know???  AND, it's clear I had no clue when I chose his middle name (Elzabad - God's gift) that he would be more than a replacement of my 18 year old cat, Jesse-boy.  Chirper has been a real GIFT to me right now and I looked at pictures of his diseased body when we got him and look at him now (and how he has thrived) and think of how wonderful God is to us all.

Today's To Do List:
(yes, I'm attempting one, today!!)

*  Pay 2 bills
*  Add up new home school order (free shipping this month!)
*  Get dressed (I know!  But it HAS to be done)
*  Thrift store shop for Annamarie
*  Hopefully, the grocery store trip, too
*  Enjoy the weather before the sultry summer heat hits

Be Blessed  ~

Also, I'm not usually so slow when reading a book.  I realize I've had my current book up for quite a while, but it's a great little book to read in short chapters and I have been reading the Bible more than anything (not a BAD thing!!!) and too busy to read any of my shelves and shelves of books still unread.

Allow me to indulge in myself, since I'm always the one BEHIND the camera!  I'll try to remember what was going on so I can narrate the pictures and they make more sense than some grinning"older" woman acting goofy!!!

Rissy had seen my headphones for my boom box (no comments please, I'm sure an IPOD or MP3 player is more efficient and smaller, but I"m old and technology has gotten the better of me!) were ragged - maybe even chewed on by an animal.  (An animal?  In MY house???!!!).  So, one of the first surprises was a new set of headphones.  That way, I can listen to my Christian music any hour of the day or night without interrupting anyone or me hearing background noise.

Next, Annamarie gave me a new BIG (the only kind I carry) purse in brown for the summer months ahead.  She did a great job of finding a BIG one, since they can never be "too" big!
                                        

Then, it was pretty nightgown after nightgown for me.  I can never have too many, although I probably already own too many!  These were for now and for later, when my arms might be too sore to slip through a sleeve.  Some were snap down the front from neck to hem to make putting them on easier after surgery.

Earlier this morning, I baked two loaves of friend Emily's banana bread.  It's her family's recipe that's around 100 years old.  YUM!  Is my best commentary to her banana bread!  It's a wonderful way to use black bananas, I absolutely abhor throwing away food.

No plans.  Except maybe Rissy's therapy appointment this week and the girls' counseling therapy appointment on Friday.  I hope nothing changes my schedule.  I like down time. I'm finding I like down time way more than I ever realized it or appreciated it.

I know I'm always going 90 to nothing and most of the world wonders how I keep up with myself, but it's a routine that I have established and so my 90 to nothing speed is really "nothing" to me.  Having someone else come into my life and tell me when to be somewhere the next day really has been trying for me - THE CONTROL FREAK!

I think the plan for today is that when JoAnn is finished with homeschool, she is taking the girls to a park.  We're predicted to have weather mid 70's - 80's all week.  The girls definitely need the exercise and JoAnn thought I'd like some alone and quiet time for an hour.

I've had problems sleeping.  I've had what they called "peri-menopausal insomnia" for about 10 years.  I have finally taken prescription medications for the past 3 or so years to help me stay asleep.  The chemo medications are messing with that (not to mention satan's voice that is always louder in the middle of the night) and I just received a call from the nurse who handles my insurance needs.  She suggested I call the oncologist's office immediately this morning and see if they can help me with the insomnia.  I am a person who finds it almost impossible to nap during the day and really NEED those night hours of sleep.  They not only do wonders for me mentally, but also I believe they will help heal my body quicker than snatches of interrupted sleep.

I don't really have any plans for today.  I finished our laundry this morning and baked that banana bread.  Then, I have a few phone calls to make and 3 bills Jesse wants me to pay.  I plan to read and relax with the windows open and feel the fresh air in our house.

Everything highlighted in red is only meant to be the words spoken to *my* spirit this morning during my devotion time. 

Our (Jesse's & mine) faithfulness in the past and our promises from God that *I* can trust and rely on while I fight the enemy within my body and bones, are represented below in these verses.

Please pray with me:.

Proverbs 3
1)  My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
2)  For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
3)  Let not mercy and truth forsake thee; bind them about thy neck; write them upon the tablet of thine heart:
4)  So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
5)  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6)  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7)  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
8)  It shall be health to thy navel, and *marrow to thy bones.* (my emphasis)
9)  Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase:
10) So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.