March 25, 2009

• An Encouraging Word/s

  That title makes me think of "Home on the Range" - you know, where the deer and the antelope play???!!! LOL

  Yesterday afternoon, I talked with the surgeon's nurse.  I'm beginning to cherish this gal.  She is SO patient and kind and answers ALL of my out-of-the-ordinary questions!  Everything she said may not sound so great to you who read this, but to *me* much of what she said was an answer to prayers.

  1.    She said the MRI showed about half of my left breast involved with cancerous looking material.  BUT . . . (here's blessing #1)  there is an enlarged lymph gland and that is *not* considered unusual with this type of breast cancer.  The glands are trying to fight the disease invading my body (which is why we have lymph glands) - which is what I thought all along.  She said there are many lymph glands around the armpit and the MRI showed only ONE gland involved.  Her encouragement went further . . .

  2.     The enlargement in the lymph node is called "in situ" which means it is clearly defined within margins and ISN'T traveling anywhere except within those margins.  "In situ" means "contained" and is GOOD NEWS. (blessing #2)

  3.     My left breast showed some odd dense places that they don't believe are cancerous - but could be in the future.  She said, "I'm not telling you what to do, and I don't want to scare you, but . . . if it were me, I would have both breasts removed."  THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED!!!!  The woman's center said they would never consider double mastectomy if the right breast was fine.  The surgeon's nurse said not only do they consider it, the doctor recommends it and would ESPECIALLY recommend it due to the density found in my "good" breast.  I don't want to contemplate doing this all over again in the future - it's hard to balance things with my large family.  (blessing #3)

  4.     The type of surgery they do these days has greatly changed from when I was involved in hospital work.  They no longer cut into the muscles unless the cancer has invaded the muscles.  Mine has not, according to the MRI on Monday and they will know everything for sure after today's plethora of pictures.  BUT, she said the breast tissue and nerves are very forgiving and differently made from the abdominal area.  Recovering from a mastectomy isn't like having a C-section or another kind of cut made in the abdomen (I can tell you, that C-sections are no picnic) and I will be surprised at how bad it *isn't* going to be.  (blessing #4) 

          I told her I had no fear and am looking at this like having a baby.  Everyone wants that darling baby, but no one looks forward to the labor and delivery part.  I don't want cancer in my body and what I will do to get that removed won't be the fun part - but I definitely want the outcome of no cancer.  Cancer free is MY baby!

  5.     She said if I had help for 3 weeks, I should be amazingly fine.  We're looking for someone to come live with us for a while to care for the house, children, and a little bit of help for me.  She thought 2 months wasn't necessary and 3 weeks was more reasonable.  (blessing #5)  We aren't rolling in the bucks and less help means less of a cost to us.

  6.     We didn't discuss chemo therapy and I will ask the surgeon my questions regarding that at the April 7th appointment.  I will have lots of questions for her, I'm sure.

  7.     The nurse and I discussed reconstructive surgery and she said the doctor automatically puts "tissue expanders" in when she is finish with the surgical removal.  *IF* I elect to have reconstructive surgery at a later date, the state's insurance I'm receiving will pay for that too.  (blessing #6)  That sounds like "cosmetic surgery" to me and I was surprised that state insurance wouldn't consider it cosmetic, too.  I don't know that I'll choose that, because that would mean another surgery and more help needed.  Since I wear a cape dress or a vest over a dress, I'm trying to hide my breasts anyway.  Jesse said he'd rather have me breastless than not at all.  I agree.  But reconstructive surgery is an option way in the future and nothing that has to be decided now.  The surgery won't leave my chest "concave" but flat.  She said the surgeon removes all but a bit of the tissue attached to the skin and my own skin flap will be what covers the breast area.  No chance of rejecting foreign tissue implants.

  8.     I told her of my faith and my trust in God.  I said I may appear odd when the surgeon meets me because I am experiencing NO FEAR - only have practical things that nag at me; but, I completely trust God's involvement in my life which includes this hurdle.  The nurse said, "Well, we'll be right here praying along with you all the way!"  MY DOCTOR AND HER NURSE WILL PRAY WITH ME?????  AWESOME!!!!  (blessing #7)

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  Sorry no pictures today.  They wouldn't be appropriate to go along with the above narrative!!!!!

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  Today is my CT scan and bone scan.  I just finished eating.  They want no food or water four hours prior to the tests.  I think I heard the radiology gal mention the word "barium" - so, I guess I WILL be given something to drink before my tests and when the dye is injected.  I don't have to be there at  noon, but at 12:30pm, which gives us more time to relax and get ready to go.  Jesse will keep the girls and leave me there - I will call him when it's time to come back - they said about 3 hours.

  I've wolfed down 3 link sausages, 2 scrambled eggs and an apple fritter (and my precious morning coffee).  I cheated by about 15 minutes, but I bet they'll be okay with that!  LOL

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  I don't know how many of you might know of people who come to help people in my situation (domestic live-in help) and two women are helping me now make contacts with "plain communities" that send daughters to help for a minimal amount of pay - called mission work.  Some of you might have a link to people who do that type of thing - so I'm asking for as many of you that have those types of contacts to put out feelers for us. 

  Just message me, if you know of a possibility, and I'll give our info and phone numbers to you.

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  Huge departure from the rest of this post.  We have been having temperatures around 70° and higher.  They are predicting SNOW (!!!!!!) starting Friday through Saturday.  Some pretty HEAVY snow up north.  Is that crazy, or what?  Well . . . I suppose that's simply Oklahoma!

  I'm going to say good bye before this becomes any longer than it already has become!

  Today's To Do List:
  *  Shower and wash my hair (another "no deoderant" day at the hospital - rolling my eyes!)
  *  Wash dishes that didn't fit in the dishwasher last night
  *  Think about what I want the thawing ground beef to turn into for our dinner tonight
  *  Pack my favorite relaxing CD "Quiet Beauty" in my purse - just in case they let me listen to it at the hospital
  *  File a few things so my desk continues to look clean

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 10:22 am
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