Month: November 2008

  • Thursday Thirteen #41 (LONG!)

    Thirteen Things About
    My Mom

    A brief history of my mother. 
    Her beginning, her transformation, and her demise.

    She grew up "painfully shy" (her own words) and any attention shown to her would make her cry.  Being called to stand up in school.  A big "to do" made over her birthday.  She cried.  She suffered from severe asthma but, due to my grandparent's religious beliefs, remained untreated and suffered terribly at times with struggling to breathe.  Over the years, she grew into a more confident adult and became outgoing, silly, a tease, and someone other people enjoyed being around.  She still cried, but not due to lack of confidence, at least, I don't think so. 

    She was a great artist.  I have some of her pencil sketches (one great one of my cousin, Claire, when she was a baby) and she enjoyed ceramics. In my china cabinet are several ceramic pieces she made - a pair of pheasants, a candy dish, etc.  Really beautiful stuff. 

    That said, on the anniversary of her death 11/19/83 (that would be 25 years ago), I decided to pay tribute to 13 memories I have of her.  It was hard to pick only 13 - there are so many more.

    1.  I remember being young enough to sleep with a blankie (I called it my "cubby" - don't ask me why!) and my mom decided I was in need of a new one.  She said she would make one over night.  Literally, to me in bed, it felt like *during* the night.  Every time the sewing machine stopped, I'd call from bed, "Are you finished, yet?"  A patient "Nooooo, not yet" was her response.  FAR MORE PATIENT THAN I WOULD HAVE BEEN!!!

    2.  I had a sailor suit style of dress in Kindergarten.  A blue dress with square collar in back, stars in the corners, and a little scarf tied in a square knot in the front.  I loved it.  In first grade, a friend and her mother called me and asked if I'd like to walk with them as they went door to door selling Blue Bird candy.  I said yes, and quickly changed into my old Kindergarten dress.  (I wanted to look cute, I guess!)  My mother came home from where ever she was (I was in 1st grade, so I can't believe I was home alone, maybe a neighbor was keeping an eye on me ????), she saw me in that too little, too short dress from Kindergarten and came unglued, realizing I had been out in public like that.  Remember, public opinion mattered a lot back in the late 50's, early 60's.  She took the dress away from me.  I told her I loved sailor collared dresses, but in the trash it went.  She never bought another dress with a sailor collar or motif for me, assuring herself I would never again appear in public with a dress that was too small! 

    (an aside) EVERY SINGLE ONE of my girls has had sailor suit dresses for July 4th!!!!!

    3.  I loved the Mousekateer Show.  The old, original one, in black and white.  When I was little, they were already showing reruns!!!  My mother patiently explained week after week, day after day, minute after minute, WHY I couldn't grow up to be "Karen" (the youngest female Mousekateer) and someday be on the Mickey Mouse Club Show.  All I wanted to be was "Karen" - was that too much to ask?!!!  Today, I can't believe she was so patient and didn't tell me TO never bring up the name "Karen" oR the Mousekateer Show again!

    4.  My mother had these pastel Tupperware plastic glasses.  I remember, as they became more worn, the plastic on the edge of the glass was rough and felt like pieces of plastic "hairs" tickling the inside of my lips when I drank.  It grossed me out; but, owning Tupperware was the "rage" of the times and she was determined to use them.  Another "rage" of the times were the new Christmas trees that made their appearance in the early 60's.  The metallic ones in silver.  SHE HATED THEM!!  DESPISED THEM WITH A VENGEANCE!!!  They invented a multi-colored, plastic filter that circled a light and caused the silver "tin tree" to change colors.  Finally someone got smart and manufactured the trees in light blue and light pink, in additional to the original silver trees.  My mom hated them and said colored aluminum was hideous in any way, shape, or form.  HOWEVER . . . she also owned aluminum drinking glasses in frosted dark pink, blue, gold, and chartreuse (I believe).  I thought they were hideous and the sharp metal edges threatened to cut my lips when I drank; but, she made an exception for her beloved drinking glasses that were colored metal!! 

    5.  Once when I was very young, I had a serious case of pneumonia.  The doctor made me promise to stay in bed, so he didn't have to admit me to the hospital.  My mom took pity on me and invited me to join her for lunch in the living room while watching Art Linkletter's show.  On that one day, he had the "Kids" portion of the show featuring guests from his "Art Linkletter Totten Dance School."  One of the little girls, dressed in a party dress that had slips to make the skirt stand out "to there," did the new dance called, The Twist.  A few hours after returning to my bed, my mother checked on me and found me dressed in last year's fancy Easter dress, with several school skirts underneath to make the skirt stand out "to there."  I was doing "The Twist" with all my heart.  She called the doctor and asked for a sedative.  For ME, not her!

    6.  She almost died when I was in 6th grade.  I remember so well my parents buying a new house.  It looked beautiful to me, compared to our old house.  I guess a lot of work needed to be done, pulling carpet and grass cloth wallpaper, because the previous owners had had a dog.  My mother was VERY allergic to dogs (well, she was allergic to just about everything).  The scheduled move that took place the first of December happened with my mother in the hospital suffering from a nasty case of bronchial asthma.  All the medicine in the world didn't subdue her suffocating cough.  I'll never forget how sick she was.  We lived with my dad's parents (one city over) during the day and they drove us to and from school. 

    My mom came home shortly before Christmas with instructions to NOT have a real Christmas tree and our cat "Smokey" was banished to the basement garage and outdoors.  (Thankfully, by then, the tin trees had been replaced by some close to real looking green fake trees and we purchased one the NEXT year!) I remember that Christmas so well, no tree, no carpeting, and my styrofoam nativity scene made by me in a desperate attempt to "decorate" for Christmas.  My parents had been unable to continue my enrollment in dance lessons (something I loved dearly) and I was devastated, but I intuitively knew our family's finances were not in the best shape.  That whole Christmas was weird.  My mom's best friend bought us (with my parent's money) Christmas gifts and wrapped the gifts with her own paper, since my mother was unable to shop.  The gifts she chose were all wrong and obviously bought by someone who didn't know me well. Then, again, what to you buy a girl in those "in-between" years???   The paper was "ugly" to me and the whole Christmas was a disappointment, except for the fact my mom was alive and back home with me.  AND, what do you say when someone has done your family a favor?  You say, "Thank you" and make sure no one sees your disappointed face. 

    My grandparents always came in the morning to watch us open gifts.  My grandma handed me an envelope and a check fell out - I would have rather had a wrapped gift to *play* with later.  I politely thanked her and Grandpa.  She asked if I had read the card and I lied and said, "Yes," but looked again.  There was a note written at the bottom of the card that said the money was the first month's tuition fee for me to be returned to dance classes.  I flew into my grandmother's arms in tears, thanking her through my sobs, and she whispered in my ear, "And we will continue to pay for your classes for as many years as you want to dance, honey."  Wasn't she a dear?  My mother cried.

    7.  Beginning in 7th grade, my mom took a job to help pay off the previous year's medical expenses.  She didn't get home each day until 5:30 or 6:00 and started leaving me a list for after school chores and instructions for beginning dinner.  I graduated from tossed salads, to peeling and boiling potatoes, to preparing and putting the roast in the oven.  My mother has no idea what a monster she created.  To this day, cooking is second nature to me and I can always throw something together, no matter what.  When I cooked for mother, she had no idea how I had learned to cook so well!

    8.  When I was 19 years old, I visited a high school friend who was going to college in Oklahoma.  While visiting over the 4th of July week-end, I found a job and made arrangements to move in with my friend's room mates, because my friend was getting married.  My first time away from home was almost 2000 miles away in a city where I knew no one.  My mother never tried to stop me.  She asked questions and I guess I sufficiently answered them with my intentions and plans.  I packed everything I could into my Ford Pinto hatchback, and "left home" on a Sunday afternoon.  I realized I had forgotten to pack a sweater or jacket and returned to the house.  My mother was lying on the sofa (probably in a dead faint!).  When I came into the living room she said, "Oh!  You're moving home already?"  Funny now, but at the time those words made me more determined than ever to make this move last at least 6 months.  By the way, my girlfriend canceled her wedding and moved back to California 2 weeks after my arrival in Oklahoma!

    9.  When I became pregnant, I called my mom, wanting her to be the first one to know.  I called, she answered, I said, "Guess what?  I've got some news!"  She said, "You're pregnant!"  I never have figured out how she knew.  We hadn't announced our intentions to TRY to start a family!!!  Must be a "mother" thing!

    10.  She made a couple trips to Oklahoma after I was married.  But also paid for me to come see her several times in San Francisco.  After the birth of my first child, her parents would send money to her and to me to come to Phoenix and visit over Memorial Day week-end.  They conveniently left out my "hard to get along with" husband.  It was always good to see my mom and watch her enjoy her first grandchild!  She was so different with my daughter from how I remembered being raised!!!  Maybe she was infatuated with me, too, when I was still young and unable to talk back!!!

    11.  July 5th is a "not so great" date in my life.  My first husband's sister was still born on July 5th.  Twenty years later (1976), my father-in-law died on July 5th.  Fast forward to July 5, 1982 and Oklahoma banks began to fail and close.  People were only able to collect a fraction of the money they had in the bank that exceeded the amount FDIC had insured.  My money was in the first bank to close and the one surrounded with mysterious FBI charges of fraud, but I was safe with my $50 balance!  I called my mom, who was in the hospital again because she couldn't get over a cold she had caught on New Year's Day.  I told her the "unbelievable" story that had happened to Oklahoma's banks.  She told me she was just getting ready to call me.  I laughed.  She had just found out that morning she had cancer.  July 5th - not a good date in my book.

    12.  Thanksgiving of 1982 I took Stephanie with me to visit my mom, knowing (after doing research on multiple myeloma and finding it was ALWAYS fatal - still is) that the visit would most likely be the last time Stephanie would see her grandmother.  We had a great time together, my mom and I, and thinking how short her time left would be never crossed my mind.  But, when I visited her in May of 1983, I was sure she was near death.  She rallied and did well through the summer and early fall.  I went to visit her October of 1983 and was shocked.  She wasn't doing well at all.  I took her back to the hospital on a Friday (before a large coastal storm moved in) and had to carry her on my back to get her up the stairs to her carport and into the car.  I left for Oklahoma the following Tuesday with many misgivings.  She had just been informed the cancer had spread to her lungs and brain and radiation would soon be necessary - something that she wanted no part of because radiation therapy scared her. 

    I returned a week later, on November 1st, to stay "as long as she needed me" (the way I worded my intentions to her because she still hadn't admitted she was dying).  She died November 19, 1983, the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  Her parents told me to just plan her service and have it without them.  They would drive and be in California as soon as possible!  HER OWN PARENTS DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ATTENDING THEIR DAUGHTER'S FUNERAL?????  My aunt flew in from Philadelphia a week later and WAS there for the service.  All of us got my mom's condo ready to sell.  I flew back home to Oklahoma on December 7th, after spending December 6th with my dad's mother (the same one who gave me dance lesson money) celebrating her 87th birthday.  Being with Grandma on her birthday helped with my grief.  Although I had lost my mother, I still had my grandmother.  She was so sweet to tell me that despite my parent's bitter divorce, she had prayed for my mother the whole time she had been ill.

    13.  There was some bitterness surrounding my mom's death; and, maybe now, it just feels like unanswered questions.  Writing makes me feel a wee bit bitter again, when I remember how wonderful my mother was to everyone.  When my mother died, the nurses on the cancer ward wept.  The ladies who had cared for her from Hospice also wept.  Neighbors and friends offered condolences of how much they would miss her laugh and fun personality.  She had that infectious, likable personality that my husband also possesses.  For all "the good" that people spoke about her, no one came to visit her those last months of her life.  It was definitely hard to see her thin and weak, but it felt like everyone was afraid they'd "catch cancer" if they came close to her, so EVERYONE stayed away.  To others, my mother's own feelings of lonliness, her physical pain, and her fear of death didn't override their timidity and helplessness.  It was hard for me to see so few at her side at the end of her life.  She had brought so much joy to so many people. 

    She had 2 close girlfriends (Ro and Grace) and they were *her* and *my* main support while her life ended and afterwards when I planned a memorial service for her.  She attended a church where she was well liked (albeit New Age) and I was sensitive to the fact people had probably made Thanksgiving plans and would be busy, AND, the fact her parents were driving to San Francisco from Phoenix.  Ever thoughtful me, planned the service for the Sunday AFTER Thanksgiving at 2:30pm, giving her friends plenty of time to return from any Thanksgiving travel.  Almost no one came to the service.(????)  A handful of her friends and my foster family.

    My mother had told my father for years (while they were married) that she would love to have him bring or send her flowers.  His flippant reply was, "I'll send them to your funeral and you can have them put on your grave."  (yes, I have issues there, too!)  He ate his words.  They had been married 20 years, but he was remarried and felt like he should do "something" (probably to make his daugheters feel better) and he said he wanted to send flowers, but his words haunted him.  They should have haunted him!  He asked what he should do and I didn't mince words.  I told him in lieu of the pain he had caused her over the years by his flower comments, flowers would be extremely inappropriate.  He did nothing, which was as it should be.

    My mother lived her life without receiving beautiful flowers from anyone besides her mother, who always sent a table arrangement for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and from me on a few occasions.  I bought a huge spray for the funeral, no other flowers or plants had arrived (???!!!!) during the week following her death.  My grandparents had finally arrived Thanksgiving afternoon while I was gone spending the day with my foster family.  On Friday, I ordered a beautiful spray of flowers to sit in front of the podium at her Memorial service.  I did it as a gesture of grattitude for my mom's life of 54 years and told the florist to say the arrangement was from my grandparents (her parents), my aunt (her sister), and me.  My grandfather (HER FATHER) said the cost of the flowers should come out of the estate's expenses!  (I have a real hard time with that, to this day!  Paying for your own flowers at your funeral????!!!)  My aunt paid some money to me for the flowers, but her own wealthy parents didn't pay a dime!  It's not like they didn't know about funerals, my grandmother sang at a funeral home for many, many years.  By the way, the cost of the gigantic spray was only $45.00!!!!  California flowers cost less because they are prolifically grown there.

    So there you have 13 highlights of my mother's life that entwined my own life.  Oddly enough, 3 years later, on the same day (November 19, 1986), her mother (my grandmother) was found by my grandfather in the early morning hours having a stroke/heart attack.  She was rushed to the hospital and, through lack of communication that a Living Will of "Do Not Resuscitate" existed, she was accidentally hooked to a life support machine, although she was clinically "brain dead."  The law in Arizona is that once connected, despite a Living Will requesting a person NOT BE, the patient must remain on life support for 48 hours before being disconnected.  So, on the morning of November 21, 1986, my grandmother was disconnected and died in less than an hour.  Grandpa didn't call me until after the ordeal had passed.  I think my cousin, Claire, had the presence of mind to ask her mother, "Has anyone called, Cher'?"

    I wish I could say with assurance, "I will see my mother in heaven," but I can't.  She was attending a New Age church and had sampled many religions after her departure from the Christian Science church.  I try not to think of it, because it bothers me.  A good person going to a not-so-good place?  My mother?  I know 2 nights before she died, she was in a coma and woke up while her girlfriends and I visited her bedside.  She rallied enough to have her racous laugh back, that made patients up and down the halls in other rooms laugh (very contagioius, her laugh).  She grabbed my arm, pulled me down to her, and looked deeply into my eyes.  With extreme intensity and excitement in her voice she said over and over, "The colors!  The brillance!  The colors . . . I can't explain them . . . you HAVE TO believe!"  Did God allow her to see heaven and did she have an opportunity to "believe" before she drew her last breath?  Only God knows.

    I KNOW she was a fun mother, a mother who truly was excited about all of my accomplishments, both big and small, and said she always enjoyed my company and would have chosen me as a friend if I had NOT been her daughter.  If that's not love, I don't know what is!


    A somewhat blurry and faded picture of my mom before she became ill.

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  • Brighter Side

    I'm looking at things on the brighter side of life today.  Why couldn't I do this a few days ago? 

    I'm a person who expresses myself by communicating my feelings.  When my source (one of which is typing blog entries) is partially taken away from me, things inside build up.  Mainly the build up was the frustration of my inoperable e-mail account and the inability to use Xanga the way I wanted.  I didn't realize how much I express (purge) myself by writing each day!  That's all different today and the world seems brighter.  Kind of pitiful, isn't it?

    The lady doing our home study was running very late, yesterday.  Like HOURS late.  We told her to come anyway, because we can't seem to get this home study finished and we're tired of it being up in the air.  PLUS, Jesse had come home early from work to be here.  He was frustrated at the hours of money he lost by leaving work early and coming home to sit and wait for someone.  Everything seems to cost something, these days!

    She arrived and we spread papers over the kitchen table.  She admitted she had been very sick for the past week and hadn't even opened our file.  I suggested she start with the 2001 home study I had given her, and we would edit it together as she read through it.  That proved to be an efficient plan - both for her and for us.  I had to make copies of only two documents I had hoped she wouldn't need - our old divorce papers.

    We covered a lot of ground and when she said she was starting to feel overwhelmed and fuzzy (she still hasn't recovered from last week's illness) we called it quits shortly before 7pm and scheduled her to come back Saturday afternoon.  She said she would type up the core of what we had talked about (mainly our backgrounds, current family, and current friends). 

    Jesse left the interview early and had taken the girls with him to drop off his trailer at a friend's house.  On the way home he brought some fried chicken and red beans with rice.  I made seasoned green beans and biscuits and we ate like kings.  Late and starved, but like kings!  I sat with Jesse in the den and suddenly felt a humongous wave of "tired" fall over my body and mind.  I changed for bed, went back to the den, Jesse went to bed first, and I stayed until the end of a show I was watching.  Chirper was stretched out sleeping on my chest and abdomen while I was stretched out on the den's sofa.  I fell asleep soon after getting into bed.

    I picked up Chirper's antibiotic yesterday and then went to Sam's with all the little girlies.  Since I detest going there, I made the trip count (to the tune of almost $100).  I bought TWO chubs of ground beef, a pot roast, a huge container of onion powder, a 90oz container of peanut butter (I've had second thoughts about that purchase.  I don't think we even have a knife that reaches that deep into a container.  May have to seperate into smaller, old peanut butter jar!!!), some pull apart sticky coffee cake, and a box that contained 3 small loaves of sliced breads/cakes  (pumpkin bread, etc.).  I may freeze that and pull it out on Thanksgiving  We were shopping on empty stomaches, obviously!

    Speaking of food . . . Here, TODAY, are the cooks in the kitchen again!

    The other day, Rissy was NOT happy with anyone "helping her" in the kitchen.  She didn't understand that people need to be taught; and, she, too, had been taught and not so helpful at one time.  The fact that she had ever NOT BEEN helpful amazed her.  I'm not sure she believed me!!!  LOL

    Rolling her eyes and not happy with her inexperienced staff, Rissy had a BAD ATTITUDE the other day.
     

    We talked and her attitude was better today.  In fact, Jesse told them before he left this morning, that if they argued ONE TIME today, they would be quarantined seperately and not allowed to play with each other for the rest of the day.

    Things appeared to be going well as I heard Rissy instructing the girls on the art of scrambling eggs.
     

    Moods were happy and voices cheerful.

    See Stormy in the doorway?  She's eating the dog's food!

    Today, "too many cooks in the kitchen" didn't spoil, anything!  Everyone was in the kitchen this morning!!!

    And Rissy patiently taught her sisters how to make scrambled eggs and sausage.

    Then the bottom fell out of the quiet solitude in the kitchen.  Luci began her infamous wailing routine. I went to the kitchen to see what was wrong.  I found Rissy telling Luci, "That's okay.  Sometimes I burn Daddy's sausage, too."

    Awwwww.  Aren't they sweet???

    After breakfast, they began playing with their strollers.  The quiet reverie of my children was interrupted with intense words.  "GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!  I'M TIRED OF YOU HURTING ME," yelled Rissy.  Annamarie interjected, "Luciiiiii (Ishe talks like that, long drawn out words), that wasn't niiiiiiiiice."  Luci's crying screams began to reverberate from the metal lamps and metal bird cage in the den.  "I DIDN'T DO IT!  I DIDN'T DO IT!" . . . and other such pleas of innocence, as she shrieked and we cringed.  The problem?  She kept running her stroller up over the backs of Rissy's ankles.  (Luci has that "type" of warped sense of humor!)

    I told Luci she could no longer play with Rissy - like Daddy had told her before leaving, this morning.  She fell apart. 

    I did not take pictures.  Maybe, someday, I will. 

    It's not pretty. 

    She screamed and screamed in her room.  *All* she wanted to do was play with Rissy. 

    After I swatted her feet for kicking at me and closed the door to the room to allow her to calm herself and believe I couldn't hear her with the door closed (of course, a sound proof door wouldn't quell Luci's screams of anger!), she calmed down enough for me to explain to her about no one gets what they want all the time. 

    She pleaded with me, the *ONLY thing* she wanted was to play with Rissy.  I told her that was the only thing she couldn't do, and that's why she wanted it. 

    I told her of all the things *I* want right now, but can't have.  I explained privileges and needs.  I told her she needed food, clothing, and parents to teach her and keep her safe.  That was all THE LAW requires of parents.  I told her privileges are given and taken away.  Privileges are Little Debbie snacks and the cookies we buy them, extra clothing they own, as well as toys by the dozen, and sisters to play with all day long.  Right now, the PRIVILEGE of playing with Rissy wasn't available. 

    I know.  Lots of words for a small child but she's as bright as a newly minted dime.

    I told her all the things she COULD do, right now.  She chose to color. 

    It worked out. 

    Another crisis managed.

    The lady doing the home study last night asked if we would be willing to adopt a set of children that couldn't be returned to their parents or other family members.  I said, "No" as Jesse said "Yes."  My head whipped around.  "What?" said I.  I told him, "I had told her last time we didn't plan to adopt AT ALL unless God changed our mind."  He said, "We don't want to adopt?  Really?"  Everyone knows my husband is a tease.  He wasn't teasing.  His face was dead serious.   . . .  . . .     *I* wouldn't mind more children.  I thought HE didn't want more children. 

    I turned to the lady and said, "Just write down we would be willing to consider it." 

    I think Jesse and I need to talk!

    My To Do List for today:
    *  Laundry (someone's, anyone's)
    *  Seperate 10 lb chubs of ground beef into smaller freezer bags
    *  Teach (this is a chore lately, because we are so close to finishing 2 more books and the natives are restless)
    *  Make Thanksgiving grocery list (did you realize Thanksgiving is a week away?  I didn't)

    That doesn't sound like much.  Those are the HAVE TO DO's.  I'm sure other things  . . .    . . .  will come up.  They always do!

    Be blessed  ~


  • ROLLING . . . MY . . . EYES . . .!!!!!

    I have my pictures back!

    Because I'm brilliant and fixed things????

    Noooooooooo!

    Most likely because a slew of people were praying for my sanity and God granted a resounding "YES" to everyone's prayer request!!!

    NOT ONLY THAT . . .

    My Hotmail account is running again.

    All I did was update to a newer version of Firefox and cured a multitude of ills.

    I know this font isn't my usual, but I don't care.

    Instead of

    "You

    have

    mail!"

    I can say,

    "I

    have

    pictures!"

    And, . . .

    my kitchen has been cleaned since that picture was taken early yesterday morning!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Life is good, again! 

    Breathing calmly again . . .

    Thank you, Lord (and all those who prayed for me!).

  • A Bullet Post

    No, not a bullet as in "gun bullet"  - but, a post of statements in bullet format!

    *  I woke up this morning after sleeping well.  I was awake a few times with Chirper, who has a cold. He wanted to sleep in my arm pit with his head on my shoulder - I guess to elevate his sinuses (????).  But, all in all, it was a good night of sleep.

    *  Last night wasn't so great.  I pulled dinner together quickly and it went over very well.  I never know how my invented recipes will be received!

    *  I went back to the bedroom and took the shower and washed my hair (liked I had needed to do all day) and discovered  the bed was still unmade from washing our bedding earlier in the day.  (sigh . . . rolling my eyes)  I rushed through my shower.  I made the HUGE and HEAVY bed (by myself, NOT easy) and got in bed 2 minutes before my show was scheduled to come on.  I only have ONE SHOW (an hour long)  I try to make time for each week . . . something else was on in it's place!!!!! NO WAY!!!!

    *  Disgusted, I turned the remote control over to Jesse and pouted.  Seriously, the whole day of struggles, when I had thought I didn't have much to do, had worn me out.  It's a good thing I hadn't started the day with a list of things that I HAD TO DO!!!!

    *  I came out to the computer this morning and sat in my chair before EVER touching a key or the mouse.  I gave myself a pep talk.  The monitor, and its parts, looked like a big, green, controlling monster lurking in my path.  I reluctantly went to my Hotmail account with NO SUCCESS.  I came to Xanga and tried to insert pictures into my text body and, again, wasn't successful.  Okey dokey!

    *  I should probably take a computer course in my . . . ROFLOL!    "free time"  .  ROFLOL!  Yeah, I crack myself up!

    *  I need to run to the vet to get Chriper an antibiotic.  I think his throat is sore.  He's not eating well.  His nose and eyes are runny.  Gotta catch these things with him quickly in the beginning.  While out getting his prescription, I'll stop at Sam's and get a chub of ground beef.  I SO dislike going to Sam's by myself.  It's the one place where I feel very "little" - I guess that's not an ALL BAD way to feel!  I haven't felt "little" in ages!

    *  Our home study is this evening, starting around 3:30-4:00.  She will stay a long time because this is the guts of the interview from which she will write the study.  I'll have to have a dinner the girls can eat without us and something we can eat later.  How much you wanna bet the show I missed last night is on tonight???!!!  OK!!!  I'll be more positive!

    *  My class (Raising Kids God's Way) has been canceled (this coming Thursday evening) and rescheduled for tonight.  I may not be able to go.  Depends on how long the social worker stays.  The first time we had one done (a home study), the worker stayed for 3 or 4 hours.  It's like an interrogation.  I'm glad I browned extra meat last night.  It will come in handy tonight.

    *  Well, I guess that's all the nondescript news from our house and my life.

    *  I'm thinking pine boughs with lights, berries, and birds around my doorways would cheer things (and who knows . . . maybe even ME!!!) up!  But . . . Jesse would KILL ME graveyard dead if I did anything like that before Thanksgiving.  Then again . . . maybe that wouldn't be a bad outcome . . .

    Oh, Lord, I'm climbing up to your throne step by step.   Thanks for having a long arm that reaches down to help me!

  • Monday Night & So Very Weary

    I paid bills.  I made calls.  I left messages.  People called me back. I taught school.  I fixed baked potatoes for lunch.  I fixed "my own creation" for dinner.  I mixed and browned ground turkey & ground beef (saved half of it in the frig for another meal); added a large can of Hunt's Manwich Sloppy Joe mix; added a can of drained corn - all served over Minute Rice.  Not bad for a beaten down person who looked at the clock at 6:30 and thought, "Oh know!  I'd better come up with dinner fast!"  I have fought with my Hotmail Account, My Xanga Account and the Adoption Subsidy people until I feel like my tail is dragging.

    I've emailed everyone telling them to use my Yahoo account for emails.  Of course, I have NO IDEA how to email using Yahoo.  But, at least I will be able to receive mail and OPEN it!

    I have no idea what Hotamil's and Xanga's issues are - or if it's my own computer's issues - but they are beginning to become my OWN issues and that's not good.  We ran a complete Virus Check last night and everything turned out "clean." ????????????    

    Yes, I'm venting!   

    I just subscribed to Xanga Premium (I thought) a week or so ago.  Maybe It has been longer and it's run its month course and wiped out all of my ability to stick photos into my messages.  I'd hate to BUY Premium with real money (I've been purchasing it with Xanga credits) to see if that's the prblem, especially if it's NOT the probelm and cash has gone out the door!

    My care free "all the time in the world" feeling????  It's 8pm and I still haven't showered and washed my hair.

    So, what in the world am I doing on here???????

     

     

  • I Give Up

    I've been sitting here all morning paying bills and making phone calls.  Every now and then I have checked Xanga to see if it would let me insert photos into my post.  Nope.  No such luck!  So, I'll wait until it wants to cooperate.  You can go to my photo gallery to see the girls' new dresses.  AND, the pictures of all the arguing in the kitchen comes down to, "Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup."   It's due to the area being MINE AND RISSY'S and Rissy's feeling that no one else should set foot in there!  Had to step in and break things up this morning!

    As I had mentioned last week, we took the girls out to dinner Sunday.  Jesse was exhausted from his week and so we did not attend church (except for TV church, if that counts!).  We went to a Furr's cafeteria that is huge - has a serve yourself set-up.  Nothing really appealed to me.  I hope the girls' enjoyed their meals as it was FOR THEM from Steve , who had given us money to take them out! 

    We left there and went to visit Jesse's mom in the hospital.  The doctor came in while we were there and I asked pertinent medial info so I could relay it to the Tacoma, WA family members.  She has lots of medical problems and this hospitalization is part of an ongoing battle with her health.

    As I said in my earlier post, I have no access to my Hotmail e-mail correspondence.  I can see everything that's in my in-box but can't open it.  VERY frustrating.  So, if any of you have a note you've sent, I'm sorry . . . I can't access it.  I read some comments posted after Hotmail made some recent upgrades (last week) and I'm not alone.  I figure they'll work out the bug eventually - same thing with Xanga.  I have Xanga Premium, so storing photos shouldn't be a problem AND if you click photos you can see what I uploaded today.  I just can't insert them into the body of my text entries.

    Today's agenda is fairly low key:

    *  Tidy up desk (done, only a few "short piles" remain)
    *  Laundry - our bed and mattress pad (already done)
    *  Sweep kitchen floor and empty dishwasher (Rissy and Annamarie already did)
    *  Pay bills (done)
    *  Make numerous phone calls.  (Done and waiting for SOME to call back)
    *  Dinner????  Something with ground turkey and/or ground beef
    *  School  (we'll get to that after lunch).  All easy stuff, as we wind down this week and next week for a break

    That's about the sum total of my exciting day!  The lady who is doing our home study will be back out tomorrow afternoon.  Jesse is taking off the day to take care of his aunt's yard and then be here around 3-4pm for the home study appointment.

    I have no where else I have to be until Friday - for the girls' appointments. 

    I feel like I have "all the time in the world," right now.  We're going to fix baked potatoes for lunch.  In real time, I realize there is never anything vaguely resembling "all the time in the world" in my life, but I am enjoying my naive feeling of complete relaxation!!!!!

    Be blessed  ~ 

  • Problems

    I'm having computer problems.  Well, not "computer" but Hotmail and Xanga problems.

    If you sent anything to my Hotmail address, I can't open it.  The problem started yesterday and hasn't corrected itself yet.  Others are having the same problem, so it must be Hotmail.

    I am trying to write a Xanga entry this morning, but can't add pictures - although the pictures I added this morning are in my photo file. (scratching my head)

    I'll write later on today when Xanga fixes its problem, which has become MY problem!

  • Cold, Windy Saturday

    Jesse reminded me last night (around 10pm) that the adjuster was coming to look at our roof this morning at 9am!

    Yes, me (the not morning person) had to be bathed, dressed, and coherent by 9am!  A roofer friend came by around 8:35am to climb the roof with the adjuster.  It's windy.  Not just windy-windy, but W-I-N-D-Y and something like the upper 30's.  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Glad roofing isn't MY profession.

    The man was a little late, so we got to talk (our friend from before we were married - a long time ago!!!) and catch up on people from our old church and what's going on in their lives. 

    Good news, the man looked at all of the spots inside on the ceiling from the leaky roof and (I'm guessing) measured for ceiling repair paint jobs and, HOPEFULLY, a new roof.  He couldn't believe they hadn't allowed us a new roof years ago when we first moved in and submitted a claim.  They told us to repair a few shingles and gave us a check to repaint the kitchen ceiling.  He said, "Now it's going to cost them more."  Not only does the kitchen ceiling have water spots again, but BIGGER ones, and may water spots throughout the house.  The porch, just since we had Don paint, has water stains and a splintered and sagging ceiling.  He asked if we had leftover paint.  That's why I'm guessing he will put our claim through as a "go" and we'll be hearing some good news. 

    Funny thing, he came inside to look at all of the ceiling damage and fell in love with Chirper.  He met Sampson first when he was in our bathroom (Sampson had drug his bedding into Jesse's closet again) and stopped to pet him!  Chirper followed him everywhere.  The adjuster ended up "talking to Chirper" as Chirper tried to climb up his leg.  He picked Chirper up into his arms.  Chirper began his loud purr immediately and the guy was milk toast!  I told him Chirper's history.  He couldn't believe he had been diagnosed with a fatal disease because his coat and everything about him looked so healthy.  I told him we prayed a lot for him and that's the only thing that set us apart from other people who might take good care of their pets.  He held him for the longest time and reluctantly put him down.  He asked if he could wash his hands before he left BECAUSE HE IS ALLERGIC TO CATS!!!!  He said there was just something about Chirper that made him want to hold him!  I laughed.  Chirper kinda has that way about him with a lot of people!

    It continues to be cool outside (45 degrees) and the winds from the north are unforgiving and blowing air through my windows. I'm sure of it!  It's chilly in the house.  I think, after lunch, I'll start the fireplace going. 

    Luci hasn't been behaving well today. I know she's sick-ish, but she's over the top with horrible behavior.  I finally have pulled her away from the other children and told her to stay in our big bed.  She has screamed continually for the past half hour.  (sigh) A bit wearing to listen to and a definite test of my patience.

    She can have lunch with us, but I'm going to put her back in bed with a movie and do Saturday school without her.

    I guess it's time for me to get off of here and fix some lunch.   We're having leftovers for dinner tonight.  A friend of Jesse's gave him $40 last night and said he wants us to take "his girls" out to eat this week-end.  What a blessing that we HAVE TO TAKE THEM and they aren't old enough to go without their parents. LOL!!!  That means we get to eat out, too!!!!

    I'm going to try to stay warm - everyone else with cold weather do the same and I'll see y'all Monday - God willing.

    Be blessed  ~

  • Bracing Myself for Friday

    First of all . . .  (drum roll, please) . . .

    Today is our youngest granddaughter's birthday!!!  We have no current pictures - but that won't keep us from wishing her the biggest, happiest birthday a *FOUR* year old could ever have (in the whole wide world)!!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAIDEN!!!!!!!!!
    Granny, PoPo and the Girls
    Love YOU!!!


    I'll have to make this post a quick one, I HAVE TO get in the shower and wash my hair.  I'll let it dry while I'm teaching school - another *MUST DO* before leaving the house.  As I suspected, last night, Jesse asked the girls what they learned in school.  I helped by asking them specific questions of things we had covered.  NOPE!  I was right!  They retained less than 5% of what I taught.  I didn't *think* I was getting through to them!!!!

    This is therapy appointment day for Annamarie and Luci and this is also the day we will have the three girls examined for "communicable diseases" (the home study worker's words, not mine).  Then, off to run errands.  I don't have much cash for the grocery store today, which means things will have to be shaved off the grocery list and planned for next Friday's trek out into public.

    Jesse had me look up a truck his friend, Camilo, was thinking of buying.  While on the NADA site, I looked up my Suburban's value.  It has everything except a sunroof and DVD player.  I was shocked at how high the numbers were; but quickly thought, "Who wants a full size SUV these days?"  I'm sure my thoughts pull the value down quite a bit and make the numbers not so realistic.  I know more people in Oklahoma have large vehicles because . . .  well, I was going to say it's ranch/farm land - but that's not true of *all* large vehicle owners.  Maybe larger families????  I look at the cute little hybrid cars on TV and figure they are made for men and women to use when they commute to work, and they are not intended for "the whole family" . . . certainly not a family with more than one or two children!

    Other news around our house:

    This morning, Rissy fixed her dad an egg, cheese, and sausage bagel before he left for work.  (where was I???)  He called to thank her for breakfast, which was the first time I was made aware that she had made breakfast for him.  I'm tellin' you, I'm in La-La-Land when I first get up!!!   I guess I'm not only a "Sluggard Mother" this week, but I also hold the title for "Sluggard Wife" - as Rissy has out done me by making breakfast for MY husband several mornings this week!

    Speaking of being helpful around the house,  here is

    Another piece of news:

    Chirper has proven to be interested in helping our family with chores.  He is definitely pulling his weight!  You saw him earlier in the week helping Rissy clean the ceiling fans.  Yesterday, he helped me with the laundry. 

    No, really!  I'm serious! 

    And, I have the pictures to prove it!

    The littlest family member waiting for me to toss him things to put in the dryer.
       
    He is the most helpful cat I've ever owned!  He doesn't watch TV like Stormy, but you sure can count on him when it's chore time!

    Didn't sleep really well last night.  Tossed and turned (and dreamed) all night.  It made it harder for me to get out of bed this morning, but I knew this was a "have to push to get things done" day and, reluctantly, got up, anyway.

    Whether I wanted to get out of bed or not, the pitter-patter of little feet (and children's raucous laughter) would have awakened me, no matter what!

    The little honeys were up bright and early with their newest invention.

    We have a new cat. 

    Okay, hang on . . . It's actually a "Furr-Real" toy cat they got last Christmas (or the Christmas before) and they had it on a "leash" (made from a jump rope) and the "leash" was attached to their doll stroller.

    Jesse hadn't even left the house and the squeaky wheels and our children's laughter permeated our house.  Maybe that's the reason I was unaware of someone cooking breakfast in the kitchen!!!  TOO MUCH stimulation!

    Annamarie

    More pitter-pattering of little feet that caught the attention of Chirper.


    I think little Chirpy is thinking the same thing as me,
    "Don't we have enough animals, already?"

    I guess since Stormy still hasn't shown much interest in becoming his friend, a stuffed toy, that meows and hisses, is the next best thing to a "real" friend!

    The To Do List for today:
    *  Shower and wash hair
    *  Have all three of "The Littles" take a quick bath
    *  Put Jesse's shirts (that were hanging to dry) in his closet
    *  Teach school (yes, a glutton for punishment, am I)
    *  Boil chicken breasts for tonight's dinner of chicken corn chowder (easy meal to pull together fast)
    *  Keep my head on straight so I don't lose any of my children while we maneuver therapy and well child exams
    *  Cross off least important items on the grocery list, transfer to next week's list
    *  Figure out what we should wear today

    The last item on my list probably sounds like a benign dilemma, but it's going to be 59 degrees (why not just say 60 degrees?  how do weathermen come up with the "perfect" predicted temperature????) this morning before the cold front moves through and the winds shift to northerly gales of steady 30mph winds, making the temperatures plummet.  Do we sweat in a warm dress and bring coats for later, or what?  No one needs to catch any more runny noses and hacky coughs!

    So, there you have it.

    And . . .

    It's a wrap!

    Be blessed  ~

  • Thursday Not So Thirteen-ish

    I don't have thirteen things to list today.  I probably have thirteen things to talk about (talking isn't usually a problem for me!), but nothing you could group together into one category.  So, my apologies, no Thursday Thirteen today!

    The mail arrived really late yesterday.  Jesse brought it in when he came home from work, around 7:30pm.  We hit pay day!  Not money . . . that would be too good! . . . but lots of catalogs and other mail.  It's not like we have much money to buy anything, but I love to look at things and dog ear the pages of what I "might" buy in the future.  I need a calendar for 2009 and I usually buy from Lang - so that catalog arrived just in time.  I love See's candy.  I was spoiled by eating it all the time when I lived in California.  THEIR catalog arrived yesterday.  Definitely can dog ear THOSE pages!!!  AND,  Pathway Publishers' book catalog arrived, too!  (See what I mean?  Pay day!)  Rissy found a little book I ordered a while ago and was too advanced for her to read.  She said she would like to struggle through it, now.  "My Mommy, My Teacher" by Johannah Bluedorn.  Cute book!

    Here's my stash!

    Opening the mailbox was like opening gifts.  It doesn't take much to keep me happy!

    Remember me saying when fall comes, it comes quickly and lasts a short time - usually right around Thanksgiving?  Here's what has happened in just a few days to "The Tree" I'm making y'all watch with me!!!
      
    Yep!  Bare branches beginning to appear and leaves on the ground.  Literally, "FALL" around here!

    However, I'm puzzled by our pine tree, an EVERgreen tree.  Does anyone know if the tips of the branches are supposed to turn brown?  I don't remember that happening in the past.

    I adore this tree.  Please, God, don't let anything bad happen to it!

    Moving forward.

    I keep forgetting to post a picture of my new "catch all" on my desk.  It's my grandma's pin dish that used to always be kept on her dresser.  It's perfect for little things the girls bring me that I don't want to deal with at the time.  Buttons, screws, loose change . . .
       
    Not only does it make my desk look feminine, it reminds me of my dear grandmother, every time  I look at it!

    This is our last warm day for a while.  TOMORROW is the day it's going to hit 50 degrees and then start turning cold and VERY windy.  AND . . . of course . . . that's the day the girls and I have to get out!  We have to go to their therapy appointment and have their physical exam (all in the same building with two different people).  Luci and Rissy act like they aren't feeling well (mild fever and sniffles), so I don't know how the doctor will write a "These Children are Healthy" report for our home study.  I guess she can say, "Barring the current maladies, these are USUALLY healthy children with no diseases!"

    It's chilly in the house this morning.  I'm trying to remain tough until the temperatures warm up outside.  But it IS chilly, right now.  I'm sure Stormy didn't do this to herself, but she wasn't clamoring to escape, either!
      
    One picture with the flash and the second one without.  I've decided cat's eyes are too creepy to use a flash!  And, red eye reduction doesn't do a thing for fluorescent-yellow-eye-glare!!!!

    My dear friend, Tina, sent my girls 9 dresses, 3 each.  They arrived yesterday and I didn't open them until this morning.  I laundered them and hung them to shake out the wrinkles.  The girls were thrilled and I can't wait to have them wear them.  I'll take pictures.  Considering the predicted forecast, they arrived just in the nick of time to keep everyone warm and toasty!

    That's flannel, fake suede, and suiting fabric.  All of them are made from leftover fabric from my own dresses that I had Tina make in the past years.  It will only cost the price of labor and a few notions.  Not bad, huh?

    I don't have a list for myself, today.  I'm doing Jesse's laundry and I've already pulled out chicken from the freezer for dinner.  We're having cream of chicken soup over chicken breasts OVER white rice.  Probably carrots and biscuits will go with it.  Maybe I'll have time to enjoy my new catalogs!!!

    I may teach Rissy how to make pumpkin bread.  It's a recipe from my Aunt Doris, who thinks she got it from my cousin, Cathy, her daughter.  All I know is that I had it at her house one Christmas, years ago, and fell in love with it!

    We didn't do all of the assignments in school, yesterday.  Rissy, I'm finding out, is a terrific reader, but a horrible speller.  I'm not sure why - it could be she doesn't know how to "study" yet.  I had to spend extra time with her after she (miserably) failed her spelling test twice this week.  We did only language and penmanship, yesterday.  We'll do math today with our Bible, science, and history lessons.

    Here are the happy campers!

    Warm nightgowns and NO SLIPPERS!!!  (sigh) 
    I can't seem to keep slippers on their feet, but they LOVE asking me to buy them slippers (?????)!

    Be blessed  ~