September 24, 2008

• Color Change/Exercise in Faith

  Admittedly, I was scared when I looked into the 5 gallon can of dark paint.  I was surprised to see how much more “green” than “brown” the color was that I had chosen.  It looked more like a WWII tank color than a house color!!!

  Gulp!  Too much money later and too late to change colors now, I felt apprehensive!  I have tried to keep remembering and relying on that little square paint sample I had held up to the house. 

  BUT IN THE CAN . . .  the reality of the color . . .  And those doubtful thoughts, “Jesse is going to kill me!!!” began to creep in.  Despite the fact he and I have very different opinions and personalities, I HATE to displease my husband.

  The color I had committed to looked waaaaaaaaaaay different! 

  But, instead, I “chose” to stay focused on that little paper square, remembering it looked really nice against the bricks with the white trim and window accents.                                    
                              

  The Bible talks about faith, “If ye only believe.”  This has been a visible test of faith for me.  God asked us to believe that His Son came and died for us, and we are to exercise “faith” when we believe He is who He said He is.  Why is that so hard?

  My doubting the paint sample and my choice of color really made me ponder where we direct our train of thought when problems arise.  AND, how God wants us to see things in the light of faith – faith in Him.   IT’S ALL UNDER CONTROL.  *HIS* CONTROL!!!

  But, doubt creeps in and taints the situation and we begin to NOT rely on God.  “I promise I will never leave you or forsake you.”  Does that mean ALWAYS, or just most of the time?????

  Against the old color, the new color was kind of neat, but dramatic and shocking at the same time.  Do I cling to the belief of what I saw in that paint sample, or begin to fear and doubt something has gone awry.     
                                 

  Our old way of thinking is so different, compared to our knew Christian faith and the way God asks us to think.  Thinking in a faith-based way can be unnerving at first, until you get used to letting God lead.  It’s unnerving until your faith is built by personally having experienced His leading.  At first, you are given a glimpse of His power, but in times of need you fall back into doubt and disbelief.

  That’s where I was when I saw how dark the new color was against the old (outdated) light country blue.  It definitely was time for a change, but was I headed in the wrong direction?

  Plus, I no longer recognized the wall as the same (like we don’t recognize our new Christian self) and it seemed strange.  Dramatically different. 

  Not bad – just different.

  Questions full of doubt flooded me. 

  Would I drive right by my house when I came home, because it was totally changed and I no longer saw the old blue?
   
  Is it possible that I might even think I was on the wrong street???
  

  I closed my panicked eyes for a moment, as I stood in front of the partially painted house. 

  This is what I had chosen for the new color and it was based on a glimpse of something new and smaller – a paint chip  that I had thought was “BETTER.”  I told myself to quit doubting and look at the new color with new eyes.  Eyes that trusted, not eyes that saw NOTHING good, and with a brain that registered alarming thoughts like, “This is all wrong!”

  When I reopened my eyes, I saw a new color that beautifully drew the dark bricks out of the (mainly orange-ish) brick walls.  A color that set a gorgeous background for our evergreen bush and tree.  A color that was actually different from what I had anticipated, but a VERY GOOD and different change . . . almost perfect.
  

  I can’t take a picture of the front porch, Don is working out there right now.  But, with the white door, windows, etc. it is a strikingly GOOD change and my choice wasn’t wrong, after all.  All I had was a little glimpse of what could be (the paint sample) and so I placed my trust in the that very small thing.  Everything else has fallen into place.

  Don has a helper today, and they will catch the underside of the boards where the blue was missed and continue onward with the new color.  The have the under side of the eaves and the bottom of the walls where they meet the foundation.

  When God shows Himself in small ways (I call those miracles, because they are unexpected arrivals), we need to remember He knows our needs and what is best for us.  When you see a small piece of perfection, why not rely on our God who does everything perfectly? 

  Hold on to that glimpse of Him and step boldly into cadence with His steps.  He won’t lead us down a wrong path!

  • 11:13 am
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