September 10, 2008

• Another Day is Dawning

  I’d like to report that I took a nap yesterday, but I didn’t.

  I’d like to say I went to bed early, I *did* but I did *not* fall asleep early.

  I’d like to say I feel “so much better” today, and I do (kinda) compared to yesterday.

  The truth of the matter is, I was so exhausted by 7pm last night (and still alone with my children, as Jesse is working crazy hours – mowing in the dark – to keep ahead of his customer’s lawns before the NEXT rains get here) that I thought I’d cry, but I was too tired to cry.  EVER BEEN THERE????

  I got through dinner by making a frozen Stouffer’s lasagne and throwing lettuce on our plates with homemade balsamic vinegar salad dressing – totally spaced on making the frozen garlic bread.

  Finally, at 8pm, I got in bed and instructed the girls that unless the house caught on fire, or someone was profusely bleeding, NOT to wake me up.  AND (furthermore), if they woke me up by arguing, they’d all go to bed immediately.

  They respected my wishes.

  HOWEVER, I was so tired, I was wound up tight as a clock spring and could NOT relax.  The more I tried to relax, the more tense I became, causing the beginning of a headache. 

  When the traces of a headache appeared, I labeled the whole sleep and tense-thing as “hormones” which made me relax a *little* bit.  Didn’t make me fall asleep, but I quit trying to explore my head for what could be bothering me so much to make sleep elude my body.  NOTHING is bothering me.  I haven’t stayed on schedule with the painting jobs, but it doesn’t bother me – not at all.  I ran out of detergent (yes ME run out of something, in my organized pantry and laundry room stash!) after doing Rissy’s clothes yesterday – but no biggie!  I don’t have the ominous feeling that someone is about to die or I need to pray fervently for someone specifically  . . .   Gotta be hormones.  I made that analysis because, although it’s muggy outside, the house is set at 73 degrees and I was burning up HOT all day and all night again.  Just sweatin’ up a storm while I *sat* on the sofa or *sat* at my desk!  Too bad calories don’t burn up as easily!!!  LOL  So, yep!, hormones.  And, I’ll just have to wade my way through this, as I’m not running to the doctor for a “problem” that is supposed to be a natural occurrence in the body of a woman!  Last night, I took the sleeping pills the doctor prescribed for those “difficult nights” and laid there until 10:15pm, when I deliberately turned off the TV, thinking a total lack of stimulation would help.  It didn’t.  I spent another restless night, but maybe got an hour more of sleep than the previous night.  I’m a person who REQUIRES sleep.  I feel “sick” without it.  When I woke up at 6:30am, I played my Pollyanna “glad game” and thought about soon how the clocks would have to fall back and how dark it would be when arising in the mornings, so I thought of it as retraining my sleep brain!  Happy!  Happy!  Me!  (giggle!)

  I need to adjust my attitude and NOT my prescription dosage.

  I need to take the advice from my friend Julie who left a comment on my blog yesterday.  Visit her blog today, if you get the chance, because she posted lyrics to a song that made a better point of what I was trying to express yesterday . . .

  I’m not going to look down today and feel sorry for my sleepless physical condition . . .
  

  I’m not going to straddle the fence between “My God will supply all my needs” and “How will I survive another day before night comes?” – not gonna do it!
  

  I’m going to do what Julie said and “LOOK UP”
  

  Look up REALLY high to God.  He knows what I need to accomplish today and He will order my steps. 

  Maybe watching “Little House on the Prairie” DVD’s with my girls cuddled up (all of us together) in my bed isn’t a grievous act of irresponsibility . . . as long as I do laundry in between shows!!!  (Jesse told me where to find one more bottle of Tide in the garage!)

  So that’s the plan, Stan!  Just taking a chill pill and letting God set the course of my day.  Otherwise, things will be totally out of control.  I can “feel it” in my tired bones. 

  P.S.  Sorry about the spooky glow-in-the-dark pictures of Stormy’s eyes.  Red-eye reduction doesn’t take the place of glow-eye reduction!

  P.P.S.S.  The border you see in the pictures above Stormy’s head is what needs to be covered with primer before painting the walls, basically, the same color (minus border) again.

  • 10:25 am
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