Month: August 2008

  • I'm Not Insane

    I'm going to start this by first saying:  I know many of you are living alone.  You are divorced, widowed, not yet married, etc. (many reasons for being alone); and, for you, this post won't be interpreted as joyfully as I will make it out to be.  I know it won't, because I was a single mom for 15 years.  And, for a short while, my daughter didn't even live with me.  I *know* just how LONELY you can be when you are all alone day in and day out.  I know how you'd give ANYTHING to have messes to clean up and voices, besides your own, in your home.  I AM sensitive to those of you who wish you weren't alone.  So please take this post in the light (and with a sense of humor) of how it is intended.

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    I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA!!!!      

    But, I don't because Rissy has it.  She took it to Amarillo this week-end (with her sisters and her dad).  I could highlight this post with pictures of proof.  But, since I can't, please use your imaginations!

    Everyone left early yesterday morning.  The girls made their beds and straightened their rooms, and spruced up their bathroom a bit before leaving.  Their bowls of cereal and glasses were in the sink filled with water.  Kudos to Jesse who, I'm sure, made them do it!

    After waking up and saying good-bye to my crew, I made my bed, cleaned the kitchen, and wiped the girls' breakfast crumbs from the table.  I folded a few blankets used the night before in the den and uncovered Tango (the bird).  I played around on the computer for a while.  Jesse called me 3 or 4 times during the first hour they were on the road!!!!  LOL !!!!   Needed me to call 2 customers, needed me to make up a couple invoices, needed me to post a couple invoices he had handed out, and - I don't know what else.  Other than those phone calls things were QUIET.

    After a while, I called Stephanie to see if she wanted to go to lunch.  We rarely do that because of so many children with us; AND, if we DO go, it's off to McDonald's because of so many children.  She wasn't sure, so I waited for her to return my call.  I read blogs.  I ate toast and drank coffee at my desk.  I even balanced the checkbook while drinking another cup of coffee -  AND, I balanced to the penny on my first try!  I played Solitaire for a while, then went back to reading more blogs . . .

    Stephanie called to say lunch was fine.  We decided a time far enough in the future so we wouldn't have to rush.  We had a nice time, despite the horribly hot temps and then I dropped her off and came home.  IT WAS WEIRD!!!!  I couldn't exactly place my finger on what was so particularly weird, except for maybe the fact it was quiet!!!!

    Since it was so hot and close to 5pm, I went ahead and changed into my nightgown (I sleep in a house dresses, so they aren't exactly "nightgowns") and took off my headcovering and took out my bun.  The cool air blowing from our fans was nice.  I had turned up both thermostats when I left, but I only turned the thermostat that controls the bedrooms back down when I came home.  SOMETHING FELT ODD but I didn't know what.  I was pretty sure it wasn't the quietness of the house.

    I greeted the pets who clamored around me like they'd been banished to Siberia for a few years (scratching my head, "that's weird") and I gave them attention and let Sampson out to run in the backyard.  I put up a few things I'd bought (at Wal-Mart - tee! hee!), let the dog back in and decided to see what leftover food there was in the refrigerator.  I found some pot roast (with potatoes and carrots) and some rice pilaf.  I heated those up in the microwave and ate alone at the table.  I carried my plate, napkin, and fork to the sink and sat in the den with my glass of water - checking out what would be on TV later.  Eventually I put my stuff in the dishwasher, still feeling WEIRDNESS all about.

    ALL STRANGENESS SETTLED AROUND ME.  I figured it to be the quietness of the house but had the weird feeling of, "No, that's not it."

    I fed the cats, prepared the coffee pot for in the morning, let out the dog one more time, covered the bird, and turned off the lights.  I had decided to watch TV in bed OR read my book (wonderful story, btw).  I remembered something that was still in the kitchen and the WEIRDNESS followed me, as I went there and came back to the bedroom.

    I channel surfed for a while, read a bit in my book, and realized I was VERY sleepy.  I got up to turn on the burglar alarm and looked down the hallway, something was WEIRD!!!  JUST NOT RIGHT!!!!!

    I had only unmade half of the bed.  I don't move much when I sleep, so Jesse's side was still made with pillow shams and all, and my pillow sham and decorative pillows were on his side of the bed where he normally sleeps.  Stormy and Chirper climbed in bed and we all settled down.  I slept like a log.

    I woke up this morning and turned on the coffee pot.  Not only was something WEIRD again, it felt really good . . . but what in the world was I feeling?????  Sampson woke up, so I turned off the burglar alarm and let him out, fed the cats, and took my coffee to the den to watch the news.  The WEIRDNESS prevailed. 

    I've finally figured out what has been so WEIRD around here.  It isn't the silence or lack of people.  That has never bothered me and I tend to be a loner and adjust to aloneness quite easily.  It wasn't the fact I didn't have to answer questions or have a routine of fixing dinner, yada yada yada . . .

    EVERYTHING WAS IN ITS PLACE.  IT WAS CLEAN AND ORDERLY IN MY HOUSE! 

    I don't mean vacuumed and dusted  (which I never got around to doing yesterday).  I mean those little things that show up on the carpet (like pieces of grass and white fuzzy minuscule particles that are unidentifiable)  were all missing.  No one's dirty glasses were on the table or in the den.  No one's socks.  No one's toys (which aren't allowed past the bedroom hallway, but always make it to the living room, den, or kitchen!!!!)  were to be seen.  Not anywhere.  I went to the girls' bathroom and it was tidy and NO BLUE TOOTHPASTE was on the counter tops or stuck to the sink, neither was it on the tile floor or throw rugs!  No ponytail elastics on the rug.  No clothes on the floor instead of in the hamper . . .

    AND THE BAR . . . !!!!!! . . . The bar in my kitchen was still clean!!!  "This is so cool," ! thought to myself.  The house is quiet (which I'm thoroughly enjoying) and it's picked up.  Not spotless, but acceptable!

    I finally have an answer for all of you mothers who ask, "Where does my time go everyday?"  Or when you ask, "It seems like I can never get ahead.  I can't get caught up.  I must be a horrible housekeeper." 

    Or even, "All I do is the same thing over and over again, and then I wake up the next morning and it begins all over."

    I KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THOSE QUESTIONS!!!!  I KNOW THE ANSWERS!!!!!!

    It's because that's what we do.  That is our job.  Our children need directions.  They talk to us - some more than others - and some talk constantly!!!!  They need to be taught to clean up behind themselves and they don't always, so we pick up towels and shoes, etc.  We do it because that's what we do.  We're MOMS!!!!    WE do the same things over and over again . . .  because OUR FAMILY does the same things over and over again!!!

    Jesse is a messy sleeper (does anyone understand what I mean???!!! LOL) and making the bed is a chore because everything has to be rearranged, pulled, and tucked.  Other than that, he is very clean and tidy.  Couldn't ask for a better man.

    My children get sidetracked and drop what's in their hands (like hair brushes, small toys, gum wrappers) wherever they are standing when I ask them to let the dog out, go get the mail from the mailbox, or other small chores.  My children carry in "stuff" on the bottoms of their shoes from outside (thus the mysterious dried grass and white fuzzies on the carpet or rugs) and they leave tissues and other small torn mystery paper items where they were last seated.  They don't mean to, but they are unaware of checking an area (like I do my car each time we return home) to be sure no trash has been left behind. 

    The reason we clean things over and over is because we are supposed to be teaching our children to do the same  -  but, they are to clean up when they first make the mess.  Part of our job is teaching our children to be aware.  And, since they ARE still children, they don't have all of those skills perfected.  Crumbs get left on the table and glasses get left half-filled with juice.  They cut off the top of those Pop-Ice thingies and leave the little piece of plastic on the counter top, alone with the scissors they used to cut, and sometimes a bright red or blue drop of popsickle juice (that immediately stains my white counter tops).  So, we clean up THAT mess.  They are asked to carry their shoes and socks to their bedroom, but one stray sock drops as they continue on to their bedroom.  So, we clean up THAT mess.  After doing art work at the table, we ask them to clean up.  They clean up *the table*; but, they forget to look UNDER the table at the bits of cut paper or one stray crayon that has rolled under there.  So, we clean up THAT mess.  We ask them to brush their teeth and to be sure to hang up the towel when they are done in the bathroom. They DO brush and DO hang up the towel; but, they leave the cap off of the toothpaste, which sometimes rolls off the counter and onto the floor.  So, we clean up THAT mess.

    It's nothing big.  My children can make their beds, clean bathrooms, dust, vacuum, empty waste baskets, cook, clean litter boxes, and do much more.  It's those little bitty things that add up into a major messy house.  The more children, the more little bitty messes to add up.  They are easily sidetracked by their next thought . . .  and, off they go.

    I would never trade my tidy house for my children to be gone and away from me, but I'd be a liar if I didn't say I'm absolutely enjoying this week-end of clean house and no noise!  To be able to read without losing my train of thought - I'M LOVIN' IT!!!  I've gotten so much done and have been so relaxed and feel I've actually gotten "smarter" over the past 24 hours.  I DO still have the ability to concentrate.  Whadda ya know???!!!  I'm truly not smarter, just not distracted by children's voices and the million questions a day.

    I'M NOT CRAZY OR LOSING MY MIND!!!! 

    I'M SANE!!!!

    I'M NOT DISORGANIZED JUST BECAUSE MY HOUSE IS ALWAYS UPSIDE-DOWN - IT'S THE LITTLE PEOPLE!!!!!  IT'S THEM AND NOT MEEEEEE!!!!!

    I HAVE A FAMILY WHO LIVES HERE WITH ME!!!!! 

    THAT'S IT . . .  

    I HAVE A *FAMILY* HERE.

    I'm just a Mom, like many others, who has to stop and put Bactine on a mortal wound that's barely visible. 

    I have to stop and answer questions like, "Do raisins grow on trees or bushes?"

    Or, "When you were little, did you have blue eyes?" (mine are dark brown, and always have been!!!!)

    I have tasks my husband asks me to do for him during the day. 

    And then there's the ever present dirty clothes that creates my laundry chores.

    THAT"S WHAT I DO and I look happily forward to my family's return.

    But until then . . .

    I'm going to read and not turn on a TV or radio or play music.

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . that's what I'm going to enjoy today!

    It all makes sense now.  (big sigh of relief!)



  • Friday Finale

    Why am I on here at a little before 8am?????

    Jesse and the 3 girls just left for Amarillo.  I'm here with my four animal friends until tomorrow evening or, maybe, Sunday.  The laundry is done, the kitchen is clean.  EVEN THE BAR DOESN'T LOOK BAD!!!!!!  And, no one is calling "Mmmmmom?" or arguing!!!!  What WILL I do with myself?  Is this what "retirement" will be like???!!!

    Actually, I may have lunch with Stephanie today (since I don't have to pay for 3 other little people).  We haven't had lunch together in months.  I intend on doing a lot of relaxing and reading.  I thought (very seriously) last night about painting the girls' bathroom while everyone was gone . . . but how much fun is THAT???!!!

    Anyway, dusting and vacuuming will make the house ready for guests - and, I'm not even expecting guests!  Jesse wants me to stay home and relax and DO NOTHING.  He thinks the heat is the cause of my all my problems because I'm not used to it.  The heat really bothered me yesterday.  We ate lunch together and then he took Luci with him and the other girls & I went our separate way to buy Luci's b-day gifts.  I got sick in Wal-Mart twice and couldn't wait to get home.  I guess I can wrap gifts while they're gone.

    Jesse was able to reach his step-mom last night and she told him she has his dad in a convalescent center.  She is seriously thinking about not bringing him back home.  She's been an excellent caregiver to him and his Alzheimer's condition is so advanced that I think she's done a marvelous job far longer than I would have been able to endure.  But, then again, who knows what we are capable of doing when a loved one is seriously ill and needs so much care.  I can't imagine putting my own husband in a home and would probably do the same as she has done.  I'm not sure how much support she receives from her church.  Her own family has been of some support, but she's really carried a heavy burden caring for my f-i-l for years, now.  She also has his sister (early Alzhemier's) in her home that she takes care of.  I'm not sure what she'll do about Aunt Bebe's care if my m-i-l needs to go back to work.  I know the extensive care of her husband has caused her some health problems - probably due to all the stress.  In know that's what happened to me, caring for my own Luci, and I understand how wearing the constant care of another person can be on a person's body.  I think Jesse and the girls will arrive around noon: so, I'll hear more this afternoon about my f-i-l's state of being.

    Jesse has a motel room which has an indoor pool.  Perfect for the girls since I looked at Wal-Mart yesterday afternoon and there are no more of those little $13 pools left.  I feel bad.  If I had set up the pool earlier in the season, I would have known it was going to leak and could have replaced it.  I'm a failure as a mother! LOL

    No pictures until everyone gets back.  Rissy took my digital camera with her.  Speaking of her, she made the most wonderful dessert last night.  I'm sure many know about apple or cherry crisp.  Well, she used a can of strawberry pie filling instead and it was sinfully delicious.  She made cheese burgers and chips for everyone, cleaned the kitchen, brought me dinner in bed (I REALLY felt yucky) and gave Jesse his burger at the desk while he was making motel arrangements.  THEN, she brought the dessert to me in bed.  Oh my!  You HAVE to try using strawberry pie filling.  Unless you hate strawberries, it's far better than the apple or cherry crisp.

    I think I'm going to vacuum and dust to get it out of the way and then take a shower.  Then, the rest of the day and most of tomorrow will be ALL mine!

    Toodles from me and the animals!   

    (that was supposed to be a "smooch" and I thought, at least, the lips would move) 

    (okay - waving at y'all)

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!