We picked up Stephanie late and took her to work - 2 minutes late.  Rissy and Annamarie had spent the night there and we had to go back to Stephanie's apartment so they could change into clean underwear, shirts, and have their hair fixed.  While I was there, I scoured Stephanie's sink, loaded and ran the dishwasher, and cleaned the inside of her microwave oven.  By then, the girls had picked up toys in the living room and straightened the mess they had made in JanaLyn's bedroom.

We left to go to Target (later than we had anticipated) and shopped for Mother's Day gifts for the girls to give to me (I HAVE to or they have nothing to give me and always feel sorry for me) and something for JanaLyn to give Stephanie.  That took quite a bit longer than I wanted it to. 

We had to eat McDonald's chicken nuggets and fries with a shared glass of water in the car as we raced to the girls' therapy session.

I went in first to discuss the tantrum Luci had thrown yesterday at Wal-Mart - which Julie had heard when I placed my call to her in the midst of Luci's screaming.  She again assured me I was doing everything by the book and there wasn't one thing different she could suggest.  I guess this is all about perseverance with parenting skills, setting limits, and being 100% consistent.

Anyhow, she visited with Luci for a bit and then called Annamarie back.  Then called me again.  I wondered, "Oh know!  Luci's had a meltdown again."  I'm not sure if the reason I was called was worse than a meltdown or not.  She had pooped all over herself.  Her underpants, her legs, the toilet seat where she had tried to clean herself up . . . I asked the lab tech for some alcohol wipes to clean their toilet seat for them and then pulled the diaper wipes (yes, I still carry those) from my purse to clean Luci after I'd done most of the cleaning with wet paper towels.  They gave me a baggy for her soiled underwear.  And then, YES,  I did the unthinkable . . . I went to the car and got the pair of panties Rissy had worn yesterday and turned them inside-out for Luci!  I'VE NEVER DONE THAT - NOT EVEN ONCE IN MY WHOLE LIFE!  We still had to go to Wal-Mart and I couldn't have her go without panties - PLUS, we had just bought 3 new packages of panties for her and I couldn't justify the expense of more.  Call me a Redneck!  I deserve it!

We went from there to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things for Stephanie's & my houses - mainly milk, bread, and juice.  Then dashed down the turnpike to pick up Stephanie.  We were late again.

After dropping Stephanie & JanaLyn off, we went home with our perishables and put them in the frig and then went to the OTHER Wal-Mart (closer to us) to pick up my prescription and get a rotisserie chicken for dinner.  I truly kept this trip to a minimum and was able to stand in the 20 items or less check out line - a *miracle* in itself!

We came home and ate chicken, rolls, sliced tomatoes with Italian dressing on them, and a mixture of corn & green beans.  VERY satisfying since the chicken nuggets from McDonald's had worn off hours ago!

The only pictures today are of the girls running off their pent up energy in the backyard a little while ago - that's until Luci slipped into a muddy puddle and I made them all come in.  You reckon I'll have a nice pile of laundry to do tomorrow?!!!

Between the mud and the soiled panties, I am not looking forward to tomorrow's laundry duties!!!!

The dishes from tonight will have to wait until tomorrow, too.  I'm just tuckered out from all the running we did!

We went to Barnes & Noble and really enjoyed browsing.  She found a book on the sale table and I bought Rissy two Level 2 reading books and some cards to help her with math.

Stephanie and I both had calls out to our doctors about calling in new prescriptions and that created many calls back from our doctor AND the pharmacies.  Another day of ringy-dingy from the cell phone!

Jesse called at one point and asked me to stop by the bank to withdraw cash from his business account to pay for some dual exhaust work he was having done to his new truck - so we stopped at the bank, too.

We went to Wal-Mart to get Stephanie's groceries (I'll get my few things today) and Luci went into meltdown.  It was one of the worst.  Fortunately, Stephanie was there and said she'd take Annamarie and Rissy so I could take Luci to the car.  It was bad enough that people wondered (I could tell by their stares) if she was being kidnapped by me.  The screaming and hateful threats continued from the third seat in the Suburban.  I prayed for her non-stop and finally turned on a Christian station.  At one point, she threw a shoe at me and screamed she was going to kill me.   It was all pretty violent and I was so grateful for my new medicine which allowed me to remain in control and very calm.  I was able to reach our therapist during the worst of Luci's screaming so she could hear what I deal with.  She said we discuss it all tomorrow (today) at the girls' appointment.

I took Stephanie by the drug store's drive-thru but her RX wasn't ready.  We then went to her apartment to unload her groceries, and then back to the pharmacy to pick up her medicine.  She offered to take Annamarie and Rissy over night, for which I was grateful.  Luci slept after we pulled out of the Wal-Mart parking lot until we arrived home to our own house.  I fixed her an egg and cheese sandwich.  I found I had NO appetite.

Jesse called and needed me to bring the cash to him (where they were doing his truck's work) and so I piled Luci and me back in the car, drove over there, dropped off the money, and stopped at Taco Bell to get myself two small tacos.  I came back, told Luci to take a bath and then to go to bed.  There was SOME protesting, but she complied for the most part.

I watched the end of "Don't Forget the Lyrics" and ate a sinfully large slice of that chocolate cake!  I'm not even going to apologize.  It was worth every fattening bite I took!

Today I need to take Stephanie to work, JanaLyn and my girls to (gag) MCDonald's for lunch and to play, Luci & Annamarie to their therapy appointment and then we'll pick up the milk and small items I need at the store before picking up Stephanie at work.

Tonight's dinner may be a rotisserie chicken from Wal-Mart.  Jesse said he wouldn't make it home for dinner.  I sure don't feel like fixing a sausage meal or taco salad meal if he won't be here to enjoy it.

I'm taking my camera today and hope to capture some fun pictures of the girls.  We'll see what I end up with at the end of the day!

And, yes, the chocolate cake was wonderful, yesterday.  In fact, I had a piece again for breakfast today!

I re-read yesterday's post and the day truly was as bad and challenging as I made it sound.  I wasn't exaggerating.  But, I have renewed hope today, which is something that eluded me yesterday.

Usually, when the girls become this competitive and mouthy, we separate them and tell them they may play, but not in the same room as one of their sisters.  We call it, "You don't have ANY sisters today" and they are forced to see how life would be without each other.  They can barely stand being sequestered from each other and it usually works after one day.  They become more kind and patient with each other, again.

I only have laundry and the bathrooms to clean today, so I don't feel a lot of pressure to get a million things accomplished.  Although the daily amount of my laundry can be, well . . .  LOL!

It's raining cats and dogs outside (we're expecting severe weather with hail all day) and we have no reason to leave the house.  Rather than bake oatmeal raisin cookies, I'm going to burn an oatmeal raisin candle!  We don't need the cookies, not after buying two cakes yesterday at Sam's!  The smell of that candle is very "homey" and comforting.

I just want everyone to know that I DID make it through yesterday, slept like a log last night, and have a firm resolve to walk with God today and not in my own strength.

Thanks to every single one of you who offered support through comments and private messages to me yesterday.  I felt everyone's hugs and didn't feel quite so "misunderstood" and like no one appreciates what I do!  Yes, that thought went through my head yesterday, too!

Hugs back to all of you for being such faithful blogging friends!

We started out taking Annamarie across town to the pediatrician (the one that's seen the girls since infancy) because she's complained of jaw pain for the past few days.  Last week-end, she looked like she had the mumps on one side.  She never complains much, so I knew this had to be serious because she woke me up twice the other night to say she hurt.  There was some techno-medical name for what she has, but basically she has an infection that settled in the jaw area and was put on an antibiotic.

From there, we went to the post office to mail some envelopes, check our P.O. box for mail, and buy (grrrrr!!!) one cent stamps to go with my two cent stamps that go with my 39 cent stamps!!!!!  VERY frustrating.  I wish they'd just raise stamps 5 cents and leave it alone for a few years!

After that, we went to the bank to make a deposit into Jesse's business account.  That was easy because we used the drive-thru for a change.

We then headed south and looked at the ominous black clouds moving in from the south.  T-storms are a possibility today, but nothing has developed so far.  We went to Wal-Mart to fill Annamarie's prescription and pick up one of mine.  While I was there, I stocked up on cleaning products (oh, thrill!!!) and bought Mother's Day cards.  We got our prescriptions, paid at the cashier, and headed to the car.  That's when I realized I hadn't paid for the Mother's Day cards.  I turned the cart around and went back to stand in line again. 

Across the street was Applebee's Restaurant.  Everyone was starving.  I hated to pay that price but didn't think I could squeeze another McDonald's meal in me after eating there just last week!  I had a salad and the Rissy had an adult burger (that's my skinny child) and the other two ordered off of the children's menu.  I ended up putting the meal on our Visa card (something I never, EVER do) and figured I'd worry about the lunch bill next month when Jesse's business picks up and the money starts rolling in!  The girls fought over crayons (you know the menus and crayons restaurants give children?), who was the better eater, who was the better drawer, who was . . . you get the picture.  I left to go to the restroom and told Luci (sitting next to me in the booth) that if my phone rang she was to get it from my purse and give it to Rissy to answer.  WHILE I was using the restroom, Rissy came in and said, "Mom?  Luci said if the phone rang she was going to answer it and I told her you had told ME to answer it.  She said . . . " I cut her off and between clenched teeth (from my "stall") told her to go back and sit at the table.  I can't go to the restroom "alone" at home, but really hadn't ever had a problem with being "needed" out in public!

From there we went to Payless Shoes (next door to the restaurant) to buy white sandals.  I told them in the car I didn't want anyone being ugly or using loud voices.  Yeah!  Right!  There was much commotion and arguing still going on and my patience began to wear thin.  Whose foot was bigger.  Who had the better sandals (they were all three IDENTICAL!!!!).  Who was going to wear their new sandals first!  We paid using the Visa card again (sigh) and I quickly escorted the girls to the car and gave them a tongue lashing in the car about how they had embarrassed me.

I started to head home when I realized (at the intersection) I had forgotten to go to Sam's to buy ground beef.  I've never mentioned it, but I absolutely detest going to Sam's.  I made a U-turn and headed back in the direction of Sam's. 

Meanwhile, my doctor's office called and told me to double up on my "tranquilizer" pills and to call him by Friday if that wasn't working.  I don't think I've been taking them right.  I understood they were to be used one at a time, AS I felt severe anxiety approaching.  He told me today, 2 at a time three times a day, whether I think I need them or not.  I'm thinking one three times a day might be sufficient, but we'll try it his way.  I may be a zombie, but right now that's not sounding half bad.

Then Jesse called when I was in Sam's parking lot and asked me to also pick up toilet paper.  We buy POM brand in those huge boxes that are hard for me to carry.  (sigh)  So we got 20 pounds of ground beef, a mega size box of toilet paper, two preschool books for JanaLyn, and two cakes (BIG smile).  One was a lemon blueberry Bundt cake and the other was a triple chocolate Bundt cake.  NOW you understand why I am smiling - and smiling really BIG, too!!!  The girls continued to argue in Sam's and push each other out of the way trying to stand the closest to me.  Rissy ended up knocking Luci in the eye with her hand and I snapped.  I told them all to shut their mouths, not to touch each other (or me) and, if I heard one of them so much as breathe, they'd ALL get a spanking when we got back out to the car.  Truth was, I was too exhausted from the constant one-upping & bickering they'd been doing all morning, and I don't think I would have had the energy to give even one of them a spanking.  But, at least they stopped talking to each other completely!

Stephanie called as we were wheeling the toilet paper ladened cart out of Sam's and was somehow under the impression I was coming by her place today.  I explained I was on my way home and would see her Thursday at the earliest.  I promise ya'll, my cell phone rang more times today than it normally does in a week!

On the way home, we stopped at the CVS drug store by our house to pick up MORE prescriptions (one for me, the rest for other children) and I was told my $3 off coupon wasn't good on prescriptions, just merchandise in the store (sigh).  Rissy was crying (more like sniffling) in the backseat because I had hurt her feelings when they had all gotten in trouble at Sam's.

We arrived home and Annamarie asked if she could cut the tag off of her sandals.  I said yes.  Luci asked if she could cut the tag off of hers and I told her to ask Annamarie to do it.  An argument ensued with Luci and Annamarie because Annamarie wouldn't hand over the scissors to Luci.  I told Luci if she wouldn't let Annamarie help, then she wouldn't get to have the tags cut off.  She went into a screaming meany fit and threw herself on the floor.  She did her famous (new) ear piercing high-pitched scream and I told her to go to her room.  She continue to kick on the floor and throw her new sandals across the room.  I picked her up and told her to pick up her tennis shoes AND her new sandals and go to her room to take a nap.  Another screaming meany fit.  I finally escorted her to the hall and she went to her room and slammed the door.  So, back to her room I went to tell her we don't slam doors in our house.  She's a sleep now after screaming "I don't wanna take a nap!  I don't wanna take a naaaaaapppp!"

Here I am needing to divide 20 pounds of ground beef into zipper bags and place them in the freezer.  I would love a cup of coffee - but don't dare touch anything with caffeine.  I think water and a HUGE slice of that triple chocolate cake might be the answer to the fatigue that is wearing on my brain and body today.

I know God is right here to strengthen me and I need to get my focus more on Him than that chocolate cake in the kitchen!

So, there's the blow by blow play of my VERY loooooooong day!

I'm quite sure I have an apartment-size kitchen.  We have a fairly spacious home, but the tiniest of kitchens - compared to the rest of the house.  I'm sure it was designed by a man!  At least, a man who doesn't cook!

I have incredibly narrow cabinets - thus the necessity for the pantry shelves I shared with you last week.  Everything is on turntables or in little baskets that I can easily pull off of the shelf to find what I need.

I found out someone else in the blogging world names their "stuff" too.  I'm not alone.  Our GPS is called "Mabel" and the other blogger's GPS is called "Myrtle."  Oddly enough, Myrtle was my grandmother's name and after she died, Grandpa married a woman named Mabel.  Both liked to backseat drive!  How ironic!

She made me a matching dress/apron, but there's never anyone around to take my picture. 

There are three reasons I buy in bulk:

1.  I never know when I might run out of something that I use frequently.  Being stocked-up saves me from having to make an unnecessary trip to a store.

2.  It keeps me from having to spend a bunch of money at one time on cleaning products when we really need to be spending that money on meat or vegetables, etc. 

3.  (the thing I love most about our pantries) We have such a surplus of everything imaginable (much like a small grocery store) that we are always ready to give away sacks of food to someone in need OR can entertain many people on a moment's notice without having to scurry to the store first.

We have a method for preparing a grocery list.  When you take the last bottle of ketchup (or whatever) from the pantry shelf, add that item to the grocery list, which is a magnetized pad and pen on the front of the refrigerator door.  Most of the time it works and we never run out of anything. 

Since my life is so chaotic with little lives I'm responsible for teaching and directing, and the everyday bothersome stuff that comes into all of our lives, it helps to have some things (that really *are* within my control) IN MY control.  I'm really weird about my kitchen drawers, too.  Everything is ALWAYS put back in the same place so I can find it at a moment's notice.  I can't imagine being ready to mash potatoes  and being unable to find my potato masher!  Or, a meat thermometer.  Or, measuring spoons.

I've lived in more places than I can remember (if you count all of the apartments before I bought a house) and basically my stuff has always been stored in the some place, in the some order, in smaller pantries in every home I've ever lived. 

I can't control people and sometimes I can't successfully control my anxiety, but I CAN control my pantry and silverware drawers! 

Ahhhh!  Such power have I!

Side Note:  He agreed that she should not be on ANY medication for ODD and said he'd be happy to speak to my husband if he needed to hear from a doctor WHY medication for Luci isn't appropriate.  He also spoke very directly to Luci about her rotten fits and bad behavior.  She refused to make eye contact with him or speak more than a few words.

*   
2:00  Be at the girls' therapy appointment.  The therapist will see
each girl 30 minutes on Fridays only from now on - saving me gas on
Thursdays - yay!  Annamarie went for the first 30 minutes and Luci had the last half.  The therapist called me in before Luci's session was over and said Luci was being distant or vague with her and asked what was up.  I told her my feeling was that the she (the therapist) and now this new doctor had basically "found out" what Luci is *really* like and the "gig is up" with both people.  Luci was almost sullen and I felt a lot of anger was brewing inside of her.  (Read later :  Turns out I couldn't have been more right!)

*    3:00  Pick up Stephanie at the end of the
girls' appointment.  She gets off at 3pm, so she shouldn't have to wait
very long for us to arrive.  Picked up Stephanie around 3:20 and she was ready to leave.  It was good that we didn't have to wait, because JanaLyn was getting gripey and Luci was becoming more hateful by the minute.
*  Stephanie and I need to buy a few
things at the Wal-Mart (located by her) and I have to pick up some
refilled prescriptions there.  I've done the bulk of my Wal-Mart
shopping at the store closer to us, in order to save a bit of money.  This was an oh so much fun grocery trip, NOT!

Luci insisted on touching things on the shelves from the moment we got there  - a no-no rule when they shop anywhere with me.  I made her put both of her hands on the cart's handle and that's when the explosion occurred.  She chewed on the handle, growled, gritted her teeth together, jumped up and down, screamed, and so on.  I ignored her and she began violently shaking the cart trying to tip it over and (worse yet) run into her sisters.  I made the other girls stay behind me for safety reasons and chose to ignore Luci.  She was unapproachable and nothing I said would have mattered anyway.

We continued through the store with her yelling, crying, and shaking the cart (with the occasional growling and biting the handle).  She continued to try to yank the cart out of my hands and in a different direction than we were going and (when the coast was clear) I let her.  She never went more than a few feet from me and would stop once she realized she had control but didn't really know where to go.  She seemed to need to be in control with the power to make the cart go where SHE wanted it.  Eventually, she became more quiet and just whined she was hungry and her fit escalations moved further apart.  You can imagine what a long grocery trip that was for me - with her defying my every move and me never speaking a word except for several times I had to whisper that she was to put BOTH hands on the cart. 

I made her sit alone in the third seat of the Suburban when we took Stephanie and JanaLyn home and as we rode back to our own house.  She feel asleep.  We were unloading groceries (car doors all left open, so she wouldn't feel trapped when she woke up).  I heard blood curdling screams coming from the car.  She thought she was still in Wal-Mart and was, once more, fighting - although no one was there.

She came into the house screaming and crying and was sent to her room.  She began to try to kick a hole in her bedroom wall and was so violent that I gave her a "cold" shower, which made her finally settle down.  I told her she could eat dinner first and then go to bed.  She did eat (complained the whole time her hotdog was slipping out of the bun) but no one went into the kitchen to acknowledge her "new" complaint.  While we ate OUR dinner, I checked on her in her room and she had fallen asleep.  These fits of hers are so violent that she must wear herself out.  It wears me out just witnessing them!!!

Anyway, I cleaned the kitchen and realized I was exhausted.  I changed into my nightgown and, at 8something, laid down on the bed to relax and watch HGTV.  I promptly fell asleep.  I woke up once to use the restroom and slept until 8:15 this morning.

Somehow I keep thinking if I bring order to the rest of my chaotic life, Luci's chaotic outbursts won't be as horrible for me to endure.  I hated like the dickens to have to tell the other girls to stay away from Luci while we were in the store Luci she was dangerous at that moment.  No one should have to grow up being told their sister is dangerous and that they should watch out - but, the two seem to take it in stride and chalk it up to, "Oh, that's just Luci having one of her spells."

In a minute, I'll post some pictures of my organizing efforts within my house.  Maybe someone can glean some hints from how I've set things up.  I started right before the Y2K scare and have pretty much kept a stocked pantry since then.

For now, bye -bye

I have a list of errands for today.  That's about it.  Chili dogs for dinner since my day will be hectic.

*  10:15  Leave the house & pick up Stephanie's RX from the drug store down the street from me.
*  10:30  Pick up Stephanie and JanaLyn
*  11:00  Stephanie has to be at work
*  11:30  Take Luci to a new doctor for another (4th) opinion about her taking psych drugs
*  12:30  Drop off two boxes I have prepared for mailing.
*    1:00  Grab lunch for me and the four girlies somewhere CHEAP!!!
*    2:00  Be at the girls' therapy appointment.  The therapist will see each girl 30 minutes on Fridays only from now on - saving me gas on Thursdays - yay!
*    3:00  Pick up Stephanie at the end of the girls' appointment.  She gets off at 3pm, so she shouldn't have to wait very long for us to arrive.
*  Stephanie and I need to buy a few things at the Wal-Mart (located by her) and I have to pick up some refilled prescriptions there.  I've done the bulk of my Wal-Mart shopping at the store closer to us, in order to save a bit of money.

I think that's it.  That's actually quite a bit of running, but it's all (fortunately) within a 5 mile radius - not counting where our house is located.  Everything will be done on the north side of town today, except for picking up Stephanie's prescription at my neighborhood drug store.

My bed is made and Rissy's is made.  Annamarie & Luci are making theirs now.  My purse is by the door.  The girls' have their homeschool stuff in bags by the door.  The ceiling fans are turned on in anticipation of warmer temperatures this afternoon.  Hotdog buns are on the counter thawing.  The bird cage is uncovered.  The dog's outside right now "doing his business"  - and, I think that's everything I have to remember to do before leaving!

I'm off to brush little girls' hair and tie shoes.  Oh yeah . . . and dress myself and do my OWN hair!  LOL