I have a GYN appointment this afternoon.  Oh joy!  Don't we all just love those????  I'll talk to her about my low thyroid (slightly low) level from the blood work the doctor did a few weeks ago and changing (or continuing) the type of bcp's I'm taking.  You can read so much information and become really confused.  Ultimately. what we decide for our bodies is our own decision and not a medical professional's or our bestfriend's decision.  I've prayed for months that God would guide me in making the right decision AND bring the right doctor into my life.  I suppose I'm much better off than others who are about to go through or are going through menopause.  I thought it was all about hot flashes and didn't realize so many other things could go out of whack during the transition process.  Since most people in our family live to be close to 100 years old, I guess the women go through this change of life at a later age, as well.  I don't know anyone my age who hasn't finished with menopause (all my high school friends were in their 40's), and I don't appear to even have started.  I've tried vitamins, herbs, probiotics, the whole natural route and the bcp has helped the most.  I won't agree to surgery - not unless they found something terribly wrong (like fibroids or cancer) and so far, no one has found anything wrong with me.

Jesse didn't get the remote start put on the Suburban Saturday.  He left it there for hours, picked it up, and was informed the wrong part had arrived.  BUT . . . (!!!) they told him he could bring the car back and leave it on Monday.  We may do that later this morning before my appointment.

I have one of those pre-cooked smoked briskets from Wal-Mart/Sam's for dinner tonight.  Cheesy potatoes and lots of vegetables to go with it is my plan.  We ate leftovers yesterday (fortunately there were plenty, since I was unable to cook) and I loaded up (AGAIN!!!) on almost all veggies.  I'm craving fish and carrots, lately!

Every time I'm pregnant I crave apples and tomatoes.  Apple sauce, apple pie, steamed apples, baked apples, apple juice . . . . Tomato based sauces, tomato juice, lots of tomatoes on my salad, tomato soup . . .   It's always been a sure sign of pregnancy!  Don't know what the fish and carrots are all about, except I figure my body must be needing whatever vitamin/mineral they each contain!

A nice gift (for myself) arrived this weekend.  I found a site that has Lang calenders.  Usually there are only two to choose from in a store.  The online store, had 50 - 75 calendars to choose from as well as some matching mugs (and stationery).  I bought a 2008 calendar and mug and the box arrived within a week.  The calendars were the same price they are marked in specialty stores.  I chose a farm scene with lots of green pasture, red barn, and cows.  It's hard to find calendars that don't have Jack-o-lanterns/ghosts/witches decorating the page in October and Santa's and Christmas trees decorating the month of December (we don't celebrate either) and Lang normally doesn't use those in their designs.  I was pleased.  It's been over 15 years since I've bought myself a mug.

I need to get a move on and get Luci to daycare.  Hope everyone has a happy start to their week.  Be blessed!

This morning, I went early (well, 10am is early to me!) for my second massage.  This one did more good than the first and she said the knots in my shoulder blades had felt like golf balls on Wednesday and today were mere marbles!  Maybe my shoulder blades are the source of my headaches, which haven't gone away.

I talked with my mom last night.  She said things were the same with my brother.  A different piece of lab work has improved, but his condition was still being termed "guarded," which sounds very serious to me.  From what I've read, Alzheimer's and pneumonia go hand and hand with Down Syndrome in older people; and, usually around the age of 60 is where they begin to have problems.  My mother even commented that he has lived far longer than any prognosis or what any of us believed.  Still . . .

I talked with my sister, Nancy, and she has promised to let me know if there is anything I can do to help.  She's the most similar to me (right there when someone is needed) and I DO believe she'll call, just as she's promised.  She seemed more concerned with my recent problems with pneumonia and all.  My parents are visiting Michael and meeting with a doctor this week end, so I'll call my mom Sunday night to see what's up.

I've planned a simple dinner based around 3 kinds of sausage and may just add macaroni & cheese (Velveeta brand) and some green vegetables - to keep it basic & easy. I really would rather have roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, several vegetables & salads, rolls, and dessert - but sausage will work!  I told Jesse I want to go to Grandma's house for dinner; where you: walk in, it smells like food, and she won't let you get off the sofa to help.  Of course, Grandma died in 1995 right before her 99th birthday . . . but I can dream , can't I?

I feel good about the ceiling fans and upper walls being cleaned, even though the kitchen table and part of the bar are still cluttered: and, I think I'm going to quit writing here and go pick up a book I've been trying to start for the past 2 weeks! 

Earlier, I had to follow him to a place that did some work on our new (used) mini van.  The electric windows and locks quit working suddenly.  They called to say it was ready to go and said a wire in the door had been loosened and wasn't making a connection.  I'm glad it was something simple.  I hope the price tag is too!

I talked with my mom last night and will call her again tonight for an update.  She said my brother's liver enzymes were better than the last test, but still very high.  She talked with the hospital staff about "what if" and she clearly told them she didn't want a continuation of dialysis treatments for him.  The hospital's nurse (one who works with families with very ill patients) said Hospice would be the next stop.  We'll see.  My mom said he is in very good spirits (talkative, etc.) and is eating well and it's hard to believe he is as seriously ill as the doctor's say.  He is a ward of the state (not to mention an adult, although mentally incompetent) and so we aren't sure what consideration they will give to the desires of the his family.  Kind of complicated legal stuff.

I've done a bunch around here today - with the help of Rissy and Annamarie.  I knocked the dust (looked more like dryer lint!!!) from all ceiling fans and chandeliers and cleaned them the best I could with a telescope Swiffer duster.  I wish chemicals didn't bother me so much because (especially the kitchen ceiling fan) the blades need to be "cleaned" and not just dusted.  Had a brief episode of allergy problems, but nothing serious.  I resisted the urge to take an allergy pill and (sure enough) things subsided.  Then, continued by using the same Swiffer on the walls in the kitchen and our bedroom.  I think I went through 6 of those fluffy disposable dusters!  The dusters were heavy with dirt!

Annamarie ran the vacuum around the house to get the big clumps of dirt/dust up and then cleaned the base of the kitchen and formal dining tables.  Rissy washed down all of the kitchen chairs and helped clean the bathroom.  She swept the kitchen (cooking and eating areas) and foyer tile and then went over them again with a Swiffer dry mop.  I took down the sheers and valances in our bedroom (will have to put them back up this weekend - I'm too tired, now) and then went over the house with the Kirby vacuum to suck up all the fine particles of dust and silt.  I washed the foyer and kitchen rugs and they are outside drying.  The house doesn't smell so "old" and I'm sure the 28 pounds of dust being removed helped!

The kitchen is an absolute disaster area because I still haven't emptied the dishwasher or put the dirty dishes in it.  I made a bit of headway on the kitchen table by going through some more homeschool books that I can put in the cupboard for future use.  That table is still piled with books and we're having to continue to eat at the formal table!  If Jesse hadn't seen, firsthand, what all we did today, he would have thought I "played" and did nothing else!  This was good for him to see and maybe will give him an idea of why I say I'm busy all the time but the house is always needing something else done!

I have a family size frozen dinner from Sam's for our meal tonight (chicken al fredo, or fettucine, or something like that!) and will serve it with a tossed salad and bread.  Not much energy for anything else. 

I'm looking forward to lying down and watching something on TV tonight.  I'll watch HGTV if there isn't anything else on.

I'm happy to report that I can chew on my left side again.  This crown fits perfectly and I guess the temporary one wasn't adjusted correctly because it bothered me to chew almost everything - soft, or not.

Guess I should go unload the dishwasher and fill it up.  Doesn't look like it's taking care of itself!

Thanks to those of you who are praying for my brother and parents.  Please don't stop!

Now I'm writing to ask for prayer for my oldest brother, Michael.  He was born with Down Syndrome and turned 60 years old this year.  When I was sick with pneumonia, he was also in the hospital fighting pneumonia.  He has complained of a low backache, ever since, and has had to use a walker - but, walked bent over.  My mother guessed he had seen older people in the convalescent home he was in (after his hospitalization) and might be mimicking the way they walked.  He's had numerous check ups since the hospitalization and nothing significant , but some arthritis, was revealed.

He is back in the hospital with pneumonia, but this time his kidneys are shutting down.  His caretaker for years was a wonderful Christian woman, and I would like to ask for prayers for his healing AND salvation. 

My parents are understandably upset (so am I).  Living so far away makes it difficult for me because I'm unable to do anything for my parents.  They are about an hour away from the hospital Michael is in.

It's a "wait and see" for us.  He's dehydrated, which goes hand and hand with pneumonia.  They are talking about a possible kidney dialysis treatment to see if his kidneys will respond on their own.  It's unknown if he is strong enough to withstand the dialysis treatment, itself.  My parents have also given a directive that no heroic means should be used to prolong his life.  No tubes or anything (sigh).  

This is my "brother" and not an elderly great-grandparent.

Please pray.

I can't ever get past that sick feeling in my stomach before each appointment, thus the reason for me ingesting limited amounts of coffee this morning with only toast.  I'll have a cheese stick or two a little closer to noon, but no liquids after this coffee.  The level of anxiety, while I'm in the "chair," makes me need to make frequent trips to the restroom during every single visit.  I figure, I'm an obnoxious enough patient without repeatedly interrupting the dentist for my potty breaks!   So, I eat and drink nothing for hours before my appointments and it's given me success - not having to get up during an appointment.

My appointment is at 2:30pm and I have to start taking the Halcion sleeping pills at 12:30 and again at 1:30 and bring the rest with me (sigh).  I feel like an elephant or rhinoceros - some humongous creature - that isn't easily "put down" with one blow from the dart gun!!!!  I don't think this is a weight issue as much as (what the dentist calls) high anxiety!

If the leftovers in the refrigerator aren't good enough for tonight, Jesse can make "slippery noodles" (Ramen Noodles, knick named by the girls!) or run up the street for Sonic's 99cent burger special (Tuesdays and Thursdays).  I doubled up on the laundry I did yesterday, so I won't get behind today.  I'll have Rissy and Annamarie vacuum and dust after I take my first set of pills.   It will keep them occupied and busy and I won't have to check on them as much.

Jesse has a tree cutting job this morning and plans to be home by noon, anyway.  I don't like taking sleep inducing drugs of any kind when I'm alone with my children.  Not that many pills easily make me sleepy, but you never know . . .

I made spaghetti last night.  Green salad.  Garlic toast.  The whole nine yards.  I started the meal in the afternoon since Jesse had taken the girls with him - out to lunch and to Sam's - and they enjoyed their alone time with him.  I persevered with laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and paying some bills.  It was nice to have a quiet house; but, I sure wouldn't want it quiet forever.  I remind myself (when the sound barrier is almost broken by multiple TV's and the sounds of children and toys) that I could be alone without husband or children for the rest of my life.  That's NOT my wish: not at all.

Anyway, I felt SOOOO tired as I cleaned last night's dishes and put them in the dishwasher (praise God for a dishwasher!) and then sat in the formal living room (more like LAID on the sofa) "watching" Jesse on the computer for a while.  Finally, I said I was going to have to get ready for bed and asked, "What time is it, anyway?"  He informed me it was 7:10pm!!!!!!  I thought he was kidding (it felt like 9:45!) and he promised he wasn't teasing me this time.

These days I am getting lots more done around the house, etc. but, by dinner time, I feel absolutely drained.  Meals are still on the simple side because I have come to  realize I have only a shred of energy left at the end of the day to prepare, serve, and clean up the meal.  At night, I am in bed by 8-something and usually fall asleep within the hour.

Well, to those of you who know of my dental phobia, please keep me in prayer this afternoon.   I'm sure I'll be fine (technically) but I need prayers for my anxiety. 

"I'm off to the gallows . . ." she said, begrudgingly, as she trudged the dreary path to the shower, to prepare her body for the barbarian practices of what is (today) termed "modern dentistry."

My goal was to relax this weekend and I did just that.  I still have that bothersome headache, so going "out" wasn't a question for me.  I'll do something about it AFTER my dentist visit tomorrow.  I always have upper back problems after sitting in his chair with my neck tipped back for hours, and I figure tomorrow will be no different.  Jesse booked two massage appointments for me - one on Wednesday afternoon and the other next Saturday morning.  He bought me a dozen massage coupons for Valentine's Day, but he's never here to watch the girls, which means I'm not free to go anywhere alone.  I think I've only used one coupon.  Since he's "UNemployed" now, he can plan to be here while I get the "treatment"!!!!!!!!!!  LOL

Saturday we made a dent in cleaning the garage.  I'm ashamed to say that 4 boxes were still untouched from when we moved here November 1, 2004.  They were the boxes with "important papers" and things that had been in my desk area at the former house.  And, we all know how much I love to keep my desk area neat!  (NOT!!!)  I think he was frustrated that I went through every single piece of paper before pitching it.  BUT, I found all kinds of treasures.  I found a baby picture of Luci - one of the few that exist - as well as pictures of the other two girls that same year.  My how they've grown!  I found a picture of Jesse's dad - when he was well.  A notebook of notes that my mother kept right before she died.  Same with my grandmother - notes, etc. of things she was doing the few years before she died.  Of course, I found my grandmother's will and grandfather's birth certificate . . . definitely things I will hang onto for family record's sake.  We rearranged homeschool books that the girls can use when they are older and found a great American history book for Stephanie to read.  Now that she is 29yo, she is more interested in history than she was as a child!

We laughed at some of the stuff we threw out because it was so outdated.  All kinds of things for our first computer!  A home address list from an online group called LOS that I belonged to a million years ago.  Receipts and manuals for a washing machine that has long ago bit the dust . . . BUT, until I have time to go through things individually, I will forever hang onto papers "just in case!"  That's why I have a Rubbermaid bin by my current desk.  I've been too sick to file things weekly and it DOES build up!  Jesse, admittedly, was surprised at the things I found to keep.

Yesterday, because of that nagging headache, Stephanie offered to come get the girls, take them to McDonald's (so immediately she was their hero!) for lunch and to play, to the mall with her, and then to a park by the lake.  They had a wonderful time and I enjoyed the solitude.  Jesse had gone with a friend in search of tires for both of their trucks.  Jesse came back empty handed.  I made an apple pie while he was gone (the frozen style!) and told Stephanie to stay for dinner when she brought the girls back.  I had a boneless leg of lamb roasting, a hash brown potato casserole baking, fresh broccoli & frozen buttered corn, and a loaf of pumpernickel bread.  No one said a word during dinner because of our mouths being preoccupied with eating!

I've found something to do in the early hours of the morning to fill up the time I'm awake and needing to be quiet.  I've started doing the family's laundry!  I make sure the person's dirty clothes basket is in the laundry room the night before and, after one cup of coffee, I'm ready to start on laundry.  It's working well because I'm getting almost an entire person's laundry basket done before they wake up!

No concrete plans for today.  Jesse will be home and we may try to finish the garage.  My part will mainly be separating the girls clothes into "Save," "Give to JanaLyn," "Give to Lori K," or "Get Rid Of" boxes.  Jesse said he'd go to Sam's for me (or take me, if I felt like getting out) to buy a few things.  The main things we need are Ranch Dressing and paper towels.  I always like to look over their meat department.

We have a cold snap coming through later today and it's supposed to be really cold tomorrow, but I think they've changed their weather predicting tune since last week.  Instead of 20's for a low and 40's for a high, I think we MAY hit 30 degrees for a low and mid 50's for a high.  Not exactly a "cold" snap - but welcome fall weather, nonetheless.

I'm going to go visit with my husband for a while.  I'm glad he's home for the winter.  It will be nice seeing his sweet face on a frequent basis!

This has been a relaxing week for me, although I've had an extra doctor appointment (for Luci) and Jesse has been out of his normal routine (not much grass growing these days!).   I've had a dumb headache (extremely rare for me) and haven't tried to do much of anything.

Jesse invited me to join him for lunch today with two high school friends whose birthdays were October 15th & 30th.  He missed them both!  I figured it was a guy-thing and was surprised he asked.  Of course, if you invite me - you invite the girls!  The guys have a Mexican restaurant they enjoy in an adjoining city and I think that's the plan.  Luci has a 4pm appointment, so I have to pick her up (up the street from our house) at 3:30pm.  Until then, I'm a semi-free woman!

We were blessed yesterday with firewood - and LOTS of it.  Jesse pays his helper weekly - regardless if they work a 5 day week or not.  Since lawns were caught up, he had the helper ride with him to he's brother's wooded area in SE Oklahoma where they loaded tree limbs (seasoned wood) on the lawn trailer, came back to the house, and cut it into fireplace-size pieces.  We ended up with 2 1/2 - 3 ricks of wood.  Plenty for this winter and maybe into next winter.  He figured it cost $70 in gasoline;  he took my Suburban, which has a tow package.  The cheapest price he's found in the city for a rick of wood is $90 and that's not guaranteed to be all seasoned pieces.  So we feel doubly blessed!  We had planned to go get the wood this weekend, but his brother's wife had an injury (another story) and isn't healing well.  I figured she wasn't up to company - which would include our 3 children.

I am looking forward (not) to my dentist appointment next Tuesday.  The final crown is to be affixed.  My tooth, or gumline, is still very sore from last week, and I'm leery about having them poke around in that area, again.  Yet, I'm anxious to have the whole mess finished and my mouth healed before Thanksgiving.  I haven't eaten on the left side of my mouth since the tooth cracked back in June!  I'm surprised my whole face hasn't shifted to the right!

I'm proud of myself, menu-wise, in my forever quest to save money.  I've been taking advantage of leftovers and creating new meals.  My "raw" chicken was boiled the other day to assure me it wouldn't kill or injure us; and I made chicken and noodles lastnight.  Thursday and Friday are the weekdays I come home late because of the girls' appointments & errands and an easy dinner is a must for me.  I only had to boil the noodles, then throw in the cooked chicken and broth with some leftover mixed vegetables.  There was a (very) small storage container left after everyone had seconds!  I put a loaf of whole wheat bread on the table and didn't mess with trying to prepare rolls.  It was a winner!

Good news about Luci-Goosey.  Luci's been delightful to be with lately; cute and very funny.  We're so pleased with her progress.  Our prayers are being answered as we continually pray for her mind to be healed and normal.  I know she can't always control her outbursts - but she is trying SO VERY hard!  The doctor, who prescribes her medications, noticed a significant difference yesterday.  I took her to the grocery store with me after the medical appointment (something I wouldn't have attempted 6 months ago) and she was a model child.  Several times she protested that she needed another drink or had to go to the restroom (twice) and I acquiesced and had Rissy take her.  I never know whether to believe her or not (since she complains all the time about everything) and figured it was better to play it safe than sorry!  Not one temper tantrum from her, nor one teary whine!  Several times she asked for something she saw on the shelf (the girls aren't allowed to ask for things when we grocery shop - ESPECIALLY while standing in the check-out line) and she caught herself saying, "Oh yeah, when I shop with Mom I'm not supposed to ask for junk!"  Her huge effort made me smile.

I read on the blog of  purpleamythest that Thanksgiving is three weeks away.  Eeeeeek!!!  That was the second time this week I heard "three" weeks.  I thought it was always the last Thursday of the month - so I thought we had four weeks.  Not that I'm going to run out and buy a turkey this week, but I need more time to plan this year and get used to the idea of cooking a big meal.  I think I'm up to it (physically) with Stephanie's help, but I feel slower and need the mental time to prepare.  I'll be keeping the menu minimal and just cooking the bare essentials that the family thinks they can't live without.  I asked Jesse what he felt he HAD to have for a Thanksgiving dinner.  He was so helpful: he said, "A turkey!"  He asked for a special fruit salad and when I told Stephanie to think about what things she just HAD to have, she agreed the fruit salad was a must.  I'll probably have her make that and a few other things that are easy.  She wants to be around when I put the turkey and dressing together so she can learn how I do it.

LOL!  Jesse just walked in from the garage and through the room.  He's wearing combat-looking boots, camouflage pants, a black shirt that says, "Hate the sin, Love the sinner," and a dark knit cap.  With his full black beard and tinted glasses, I told him he looked like he was getting ready to rob a bank.  He quickly quipped, "I guess I shouldn't wear my full face mask, then?"

On to bigger and more productive things!