I have cut out a lot of things in my life that used to take up much of my time.  While I miss some of the old things, I've found simplifying our house and my blocks of time have helped me heal quicker.  Don't worry, I won't do anything to damage my health. 

Those of you who KNOW Luci personally, KNOW what I'm talking about.

Please don't worry - I'll be wise. 

That's all!

I've been suffering with a "little" cold for the past few days and today have laryngitis.  This is NOTHING compared to what I had this summer and I don't see it as a set back at all - just a cold.  This is how I'm SUPPOSED to feel when I have a malady - not like a truck ran over me and then something sucked the life force from my body via my toes!!!!  I've been going to bed really early (last night it was 8:30!) and Jesse wanted to be sure I was "up to" going to lunch.  Believe me, I am!

I had to miss a baby shower this morning that I would have loved to have attended.  One of the ladies from church, Carisha, who brought me a meal when I was ill, is due next month.  Great gal.  So is her mother, Reba.  Saturday mornings, with 3 children and Jesse usually working, makes it nearly impossible for me to go anywhere.  Plus, half of her shower gift didn't arrive.  I ordered from two different places.  Oh well.  I'll just give her the gifts after the fact!  She'll still have the stuff before the baby arrives.  I say "baby" because they have opted to wait and be surprised.  Isn't that neat?  Seems like no one wants to be surprised anymore!

Total change of subject:  What is it about outside that makes children so loud?  Mine are playing in the backyard and all of them are loud, but I can hear Rissy's voice over everyone else's.  The outdoor birds have even stopped chirping!  Annamarie is my most quiet child, yet she reaches new decibels when the fresh air hits her nostrils!  I think Luci is loud from being at a daycare 5 days a week.  With that many children, you must have to yell to be heard.

Not next week, but the week after that, I'm going to keep Luci home from daycare all week (I've accrued a week of free days at the daycare).  I want to see if she is more manageable since she has had a chance to grow a little older and we've taken her off of almost all psych drugs.  If things go well, I will pull her from daycare permanently.  It would save us almost $500 a month, which would be great, but the benefits to her would be even greater! 

Luci is the one that has boggled the doctors.  No one wants to label children these days, but there has clearly been something seriously wrong with her from beginning infancy.  This is the child who screamed all day and night and never slept more than a 3 hour stretch at one time until she was 4 years old.  I want to see if I can integrate  her into our home routine, which would mean no tv all day, doing some home schooling, doing chores, running errands, etc.  I think home is always the best place for a child.  I don't like the habits she's picked up at daycare (loud, bossy, mean, doesn't share) but since she spends most of her time there, I know WHY she does some of the things she does.  She isn't in my presence long enough to influenced or learn to be sweet, patient, kind, or have a pleasant voice.  I think it's time to give "home" a try again. 

Daycare was originally chosen because of my need for respite care.  She was expelled from preschool last year due to her humongous, violent fits and I was placed on Xanax AND my hair began to fall out.  I've seen a huge improvement in her self-control over the past few months.  She was actually VERY concerned about me when I was ill.  She tried to soothe me and patted or rubbed my hand while she stood close to the bed when Jesse allowed them to come in the room and visit.  Sometimes I 'd wake up and find her standing by the bed with her big brown eyes staring at me.  The compassion in her eyes was something new, and we all noticed the transformation from a self-centered to more caring little person.

Our family will need lots of pray if this transition is to go smoothly and if it's God's will for her to be at home again.  I know He teaches us to instruct our children, soooooo . . .

I'm going to start getting ready for my big lunch on the town!  Plus I have 3 screaming children in the backyard who need to get out of their nightgowns and new bedroom slippers and into "real" clothes!  Yes, I sometimes let them play outside in their nightgowns!

Blessings to all!
 

I feel free again.  I feel like I can almost do my fair share of the work around here without needing as much assistance.  They told me, at the beginning of September, I would feel close to "normal" by the end of the September and it was hard to believe.  I took the doctor's word, held hope in my heart, and  here I am - living proof.

All I need is a little more energy after doing my daily things and I'll be right where I have always been.  I'm sure, with this huge improvement in the past couple of weeks, energy is right around the corner for me.

My girls have commented that Mom doesn't look sick anymore and there is "pink" in my cheeks again.  They also said I was more fun when I could play!  I must have been a vegetating mess in their eyes!

This wasn't a pleasant ordeal to endure, but I learned so much about what we all take for granted on a daily basis.  I clung to God like a vine to a tree.  My faith and reliance on God grew even more strong and stable than before.  And THAT has been a blessing. 

To see so many Christians come to my aid to help and cheer me up has set an example for me about what *I* can do for others when they find themselves bedridden.

God saw fit to raise me up and He continues to do so.  I'm so grateful for this experience and all that I have learned.  And . . .

I feel happy, happy, happy inside again - the old joy I used to feel when I awakened everyday!!!!!

I never fell asleep, I never stopped talking, I drummed my fingers on the armrests, I clicked my shoes together, I think I kicked a few times, and heaved great sighs a lot.  I WAS a cooperative patient until he mention "ROOT CANAL"!!!!!!!!!!!  I told him he couldn't do that.  He asked why.  I reminded him I'm afraid.  He said lets just check and see once I get in there what needs to be done.  And, before I knew it, I'd had a root canal with some minor pain. It was similar to the needle they use to numb you  - but less intense and quickly over.

I asked him what was wrong with me that I required so much medication and still didn't shut up.  He called it high anxiety.  He said a little old lady came in last week and had tons of Halcion, but talked the whole time.  The difference between her and I was that she didn't know what she was saying and remembered nothing.  I, on the other hand, was cognitive and, when I couldn't talk (because they had propped my mouth open) reverted to using sign language.  I literally spelled M-O-M in sign language because that's a word you can't say with your mouth wide open!  The dental tech's mom and I used to work together at a hospital.

Oh boy! 

Anyway, he said I was getting much better at handling the dental trips, but he'd give me ALL Halcion when I came back in for my crown.  Today was $900 and the crown will be $800.  Guess I'll just go pick what I need from the money tree in the backyard!

Anyway, I survived and didn't need to worry about waking up from all the drugs because I haven't been to sleep yet.

This is the tooth that broke while eating Chinese food - back in June (July?).  Since my lungs were so messed up, I couldn't be sedated, for fear of never being revived.  Each month I had to cancel the appointment and move it forward 4 weeks.  My last 4 weeks is up today!

Today I'm supposed to take 20mg of Valium 2 hours before the appointment and a Halcion one hour before, then bring the second Halcion with me.  Since I didn't sleep well last night (had BAD nightmares), maybe I really WILL be sedated for this visit. 

If all of those pills and the gas don't sedate me, there's no hope.  I will forever talk a blue streak through my appointments and then go home and sleep off the drugs that DIDN'T work *during* the appointment.

I started feeling scared on Sunday when I realized how close Tuesday was approaching.  I'm okay right now, mainly because I feel exhausted from lack of sleep.  At least I know I will recover from being sleep deprived AFTER the appointment - which is at 1pm.

While I'm there, I will have him check the work he did last year, as the teeth don't feel secure.  I don't even bite a simple soft bread sandwich with those two teeth because they feel unstable and like they will break off in the bread.

Okay, It's late and I have to get Luci to daycare before the thunderstorms hit in a little while.

What an ominous day . . . LOL

Yesterday, I was looking in the garage for clothes to hand down to JanaLyn and found two sacks of clothes for the 2 older girls I had bought this past spring from thrift stores!  A treasure trove for me, since I have been wondering how I would be able to quickly pull warm clothes together for them.

Jesse was gone longer than he had hoped to be - cutting down a tree and cleaning up another person's yard.  He felt really yucky from his chest congestion and came home feeling less than well.  He ate dinner and went to bed to lie down.

Stephanie came by Saturday evening with JanaLyn and Jesse got up to visit.  She asked if she could take Annamarie to the state fair on Sunday.  We decided to let her spend the night with Stephanie since she rarely gets to do special things (we worry about her behavior due to her developmental problems).   Annamarie didn't sleep well, so got very little rest, but they went to the fair on Sunday and had a great time.  They came home (here) just in time for dinner on Sunday evening.  We ran up the street and got 99cent Burger King Jr. Whopper burgers.

We went to church Sunday morning.  Jesse was still feeling lousy and having to really suppress his cough during the service. We left and went to a Mexican restaurant on the way home where Jesse ordered fried jalapenos and onions AND extra, extra hot sauce, which he proceeded to pour all over his dinner (Yoweee!!!!).  His cure for anything ailing him is to "burn it out!"

He took a long nap Sunday (I think it was the narcotic cough suppressant he took after lunch!!!) with Luci.  Rissy and I watched a movie together - the play, "Into the Woods."  I haven't seen it in over a year and forgot how much I liked the story and the music.  Rissy knows ALL the lyrics to the songs and lines to the play and cracked me up as I watched her whispering the lines for each character!  Jesse and Luci were on the king size bed in Luci's room and Rissy and I ended up lying on Luci's twin bed.  The family might have been doing different things, but we definitely spent our Sunday together in one bedroom!

My tiny, green, cherry tomatoes are getting bigger and it is entirely possible I'll have one more crop of them before things permanently dry up, as the days become cooler.  I only have to water the plants every 2 - 3 days depending on the afternoon high temperatures.  They are kind of self maintaining themselves right now and doing beautifully.  I'm convinced if I wouldn't try so hard to grow things, I would have more success!

Today, I'm washing all of my clothes (how did so many pile up in one week's time???), the new found fall clothes for the girls, and some towels.  I have a pot roast, potatoes, & carrots in the crockpot for dinner tonight and will serve red cabbage and green beans with it.  Later this afternoon, I'm going to fix a couple fresh apple cakes in little loaf pans.  This morning, Emily was here to clean.  It feels like my house is under control for right now. 

A good feeling!

We've done a lot of homeschool work this week.  I actually busted open our new globe!!!  I have the girls in two "classrooms" this year.  Annamarie is at the kitchen table - the most familiar atmosphere for her (familiarity is what she needs), and Rissy has moved to the dining room table.  I'll have to leave the table pad on the table all the time, but I'm so glad I have a second work area.  I still plan to bring them together for science, social studies, geography, and Bible study.  Annamarie (7 1/2) is in preschool books and Rissy (6 1/2) is in advanced first grade.  I don't think some subjects matter because they are based on discussions, but reading, phonics, spelling, and math definitely create problems.

I've been thinking about changing the girls' rooms around - maybe putting Annamarie with Luci and letting Rissy have a room to herself, but I really need to put those thoughts out of my head until I'm able to do routine things around the house easily.  Moving furniture and rooms around definitely isn't a top priority (or ANY kind of priority) right now.  But, I can dream . . .

This morning, Jesse is working with two other guys taking down a huge tree.  Then, he has a cleanup job early this afternoon.  He'll have the help of his two friends all day.  Otherwise, I would probably not get to see him until dark!!!  He just got a new job from a man who manages leased houses.  Jesse gained around 75 - 100 new houses.  Enough to keep him busy, I guess!

My tomato plants remain confused.  I picked 2 of my 3 large tomatoes this morning and I saw lots of cherry tomatoes (green and little) on the other 2 plants.  I thought my basil would die, but it's blooming little flowers like crazy and seems to be happy.  I wish I knew how to garner seeds from those flowers, but they flower, wither, and fall off the plant.  What weird weather!  Tomatoes at the end of September!

I had Tango (the bird) out of her cage this morning - on my shoulder - and she surprised me by whistling "pretty bird" and then the wolf whistle immediately after that.  I told her to call the dog and she whistled the same whistle we use when calling the dog.  She also kept leaning toward my face making kissing noises, but I don't trust her enough to let my lips get near her.  She still lunges and "play" pecks and that isn't something I want to have happen on my lips!  I need to clean her cage today and make that my big project.  It's a mess on the bottom and can't be healthy for her (or us).

The girls are roller skating through the house and whizzing by me as I type.  When they first got skates it was horribly cold (winter) outside and I didn't have the heart to NOT let them skate - so they've always skated indoors.  My carpet is so old, skates can't hurt it.  At least as they learned to skate, they had a bit of padding when they repeatedly fell.  Our patio is large, but not enough to skate any great distance and they aren't allowed to play in the front yard.  That leaves . . . inside the house!  I wish I had my camera so I could share the "look" -  nightgowns and skates!

Okay, this is a mish mosh post of random thoughts.  Is that how you spell mish mosh? 

I drove to pick up Luci (only 1/2 mile up the road) at daycare on Monday evening.  No problem. 

Today, Wednesday, I drove the girls to a restaurant for lunch.  It's just a few buildings away from Luci's daycare, so it's still a 1/2 mile up the road.  After eating, I decided I still felt well enough to drive 5 miles up the road to a drive-through bank to make a deposit (since I wouldn't have to get out of the car).  I did very well until I was getting close to the daycare (or restaurant) on my way back to our house.  I felt like I was a nervous little old lady with cars whipping past me!  I was going 50ish, but I guess they were driving closer to 60mph.  I was glad to get into the house and sit down at my desk to finish up the bank business.  Even though I'm going to rest, now, I will be able to pick up Luci later this evening from daycare.

Yay!!!!!!!  I drove.  I feel full of such "power," again!  Oh, the possibilities!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides my exhilaration from driving today, I HAVE to mention how very nice it was to take two of my daughters out to lunch.  I think they enjoyed it just as much as I did!  They've only had Mexican food at their dad's favorite restaurant and McDonald's in the past 2 1/2 months.  Sitting in a restaurant with a variety menu and being in a different atmosphere did us all good!

I had taken down my formal living room sheers and curtains and washed them, as well as the mini blinds.  It has taken me 4 weeks to get everything put back up.  I have 3 sets of windows (kind of bay window style) in the dining room and I had managed to get the sheers back up, but only one set of the drapes.  A few minutes ago, I hung the last two sets of drapes and things look balanced again.

I (finally) packed up my pastel spring floral arrangement centerpiece.  I moved a purple (my dining room is eggplant walls with cream drapes) dried flowers/berries arrangement in a crystal bowl from the formal living room to the dining room table.  It will be what I keep on that table until December.  It isn't a lot of change, but I feel like I did a little something to celebrate the arrival of fall.

Yesterday, I finally finished moving the fall clothes into the girls' closet and snuck the yellow sundresses with dragonflies or bumblebees out of the closet!!!  I'm saving the winter dresses in another closet until it really gets cold.  I can't find their 2 boxes of dresses from last year and think they must have made it up to the attic.  Jesse isn't feeling well (same cough and chest congestion as Rissy and I), so I will wait to ask him to climb up to the attic and look.  It's not like we need the boxes this week with the warmer temps.  If I remember, they are sitting at the top of the attic stairs.

I'm also dutifully burning all of my older candles - before they lose their fragrance!  Some were leftover from last fall and need to be burned and then repurchased.  I have a few apple scented jar candles (from Wal-Mart) and they are perfect for fall.  They smell like baskets of fresh picked apples are sitting in my kitchen.

Last night, I washed my basket of potholders that I use as hot plates on the kitchen table.  I've collected a potholder here and there over the past 10-12 years.  Since they are used as hot plates, they don't have to match or be coordinated with my kitchen stuff.  I feel like little areas around my house are perking up from the attention I'm giving to different rooms.  It's all dependent on "as I have the strength" and I'm doing little things to make a difference; but still, keeping chores to a minimum.

I didn't feel so great for about 4 days last week, but yesterday and today I'm feeling much better, again.  Since I've done a few chores around here today, I have a simple barbecue beef on buns meal planned for our dinner.  Easy to fix and easy to clean up.  Besides, the girls think I'm a "great cook" whenever I fix pre-made foods! (rolling my eyes)

Speaking of food, I have 3 tomatoes left on the vines in the backyard and I'm hoping, with this warm weather, they will ripen before the bugs or birds eat them.  My cherry tomato plants have tons of little yellow flowers (due to the recent warm temps) and I'll be surprised if we actually see tomatoes from them. 

I finally faced the new textbooks (except for Rissy's math and English books) and found I'm excited about the new subject matter.  As always, they came with more than adequate instructions.  Too many instructions, actually.  I was glad to see that the geography book will be touching on the continents and larger countries around the world.  I had planned to introduce those things before I ever ordered books for this year.  I can't wait to get our new globe out of its box!  Such strange words from one who detested geography and history in school (a hundred years ago!)!!!

I guess that's all the exciting news that's happened over the past few days in my house.  I feel so blessed to be doing the things I'm doing.  A big change from how I felt last month!