August 30, 2007

• Thirteen Things I Survived In August 1.  The FIRST, and foremost, thing I survived was pneumonia and a secondary bronchial inflammatory infection. 2.  I paled (but hung on) when my children's adoption subsidy payments were mistakenly cut off in May and the error not fixed.  It took all my energy (although very ill and unable to speak without loosing my breath) to make phone calls and prod someone to work on the problem.  A very small amount of back payment money arrived last week.  I'm still fighting for the remainder. 3.   I just about "had kittens" when the same people who made the mistake with the children's money also told the state of Oklahoma to cancel the children's medical insurance.  This happened AFTER they stopped the girls' subsidy checks.  Another problem solved from my bed.  The insurance was reinstated a few weeks ago. 4.  The steroids I have been taking made me incredibly hungry.  I could easily have eaten five full meals a day - but, I didn't.  Now I know why people gain weight while taking steroids!  I chose to experience hunger over an explosive weight gain and survived the intense hunger pains by drinking lots of water - which, I was supposed to be doing, anyway. 5.  I survived the sad news of my husband losing several important lawn care customers in August.  One customer (a shopping center), who paid him around $1000/month, "fired" him for not emptying 4 trash cans one day.  Ouch!  Another moved.  Another decided to let his grown son do his lawn.  And the list of excuses goes on. 6.   I never thought it would be possible, but I made it through August without talking to (or IMing) my friends.  Two friends (Tangi & Lori K) went out of their way to call and check on me.  They were perceptive enough to take over the conversations when my breathing became labored.  Because of them, I still had contact with human beings, but didn't feel compelled to hold up my end of the conversations. 7.  I survived the embarrassment of meeting new people IN MY NIGHTGOWN!!! . . . in MY BED!!! . . . in my CLUTTERED BEDROOM!!!  So much for the "old way" of being dressed when company comes to the door and directing them to the "tidy area" of my house! 8.  Luci (my 5yo) got sick while I was still bedridden and I survived my 6yo caring for her.  She did a great job and also fed the 7yo Airborne to prevent her from catching the same thing.  It was hard being too sick to care for my own child and watching my competent, but young, 6yo "CHILD" do my job. 9.  Tropical Storm (Tropical Depression???) Erin reformed a hurricane-type eye suddenly over Oklahoma one day in the middle of the night..  The tornado sirens woke me up (they sounded 3 different times) but everyone else slept soundly until Tangi called (around 2:30am) to be sure I was aware of what was going on.  6" of rain fell in our neighborhood in an hour!  Rivers swelled up and out of their banks.  Water from western Oklahoma lakes poured into central Oklahoma lakes.  Local flooding, making evacuation necessary, was the end result.  Our house remained unscathed.  What a mess! 10.  I survived many failed attempts to get up and cook a simple (VERY simple) meal for my family.  So many times I began to thaw meat early in the day and by dinner time was unable to prepare it, or anything else.  I'm so grateful for the church that brought meals to our home.  They also stopped for 5-10 minutes to poke their heads into my bedroom and cheerfully say hello and chat briefly.  11.  Which leads to . . . Accepting help from people I had never met.  Accepting help was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  Accepting help from strangers was doubly hard - and I finally managed to say "thank you" instead of "I'm so sorry you're having to do this for me." 12.  Then there's the guilt I felt for such a long time.  The questions about why I couldn't get well faster - "What's wrong with me that I can't heal in a normal amount of time like a normal person?"  My feelings of being a burden to others.  My feelings of worthlessness to my family.  The absolute helpless position in which I found myself.  The fears of maybe having something like lung cancer or breast cancer and THAT being the real reason I couldn't breath.  Scary, scary stuff.  Lots of emotions I had to battle. 13.  Last of all, I survived the discovery of the fact (even with enhanced basic cable) that despite having 92 million channels available, most of the time, there is "nothing good" on TV!!!  Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1.   (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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