August 27, 2007

• My Weekly Check-In

  I've had a pretty good week - until Thursday night.  Friday, around dinner time, I had a set back and fell into a heap of a sobbing, sniveling ball.  Jesse just held me until the "moment" passed.  I think I've become frustrated with having several good days and then a sudden shortness of breath attack with a huge feeling of being overwhelmed.

  The next day, Saturday, Jesse asked me to get dressed (the first time in a long time that I haven't been in a nightgown all day) and said we could go for a ride.  I didn't do a lot to get myself ready and then had to sit and rest  in the living room before we actually went for our ride.  He took me down to the church that we wanted to visit before I became ill - the same one that has prepared meals and been just wonderful to us.  It wasn't as long of a drive as I had anticipated.  We drove around looking at property and all of the different new construction that's happened since we were down that way a year ago.  It was good to get out of the house, but I must say I was extremely exhausted after we arrived home and didn't try to do much of anything except recuperate.

  On Sunday, I cooked my first meal (not counting the Crock Pot episode I thought I was ready to handle a week or so ago).  I put some boneless beef ribs in the oven at 250° and later made a can of baked beans in the microwave and boiled some corn on the cob.  I had to wait about a half hour after everything was done to give myself a rest before sitting down to eat.  My life is nothing at all like it used to be when I took flitting around for granted!

  My goal this week is to get dressed each day.  I AM in a dress right now.  I haven't needed to be in bed as much (except for Saturday after our ride) and there isn't a need for me to be in nightgowns if I'm not lying in bed.  I'd also like to keep up with the laundry and cook our meals.  I think that's plenty of activity to start with right now and if I feel myself becoming weak, gasping for breath, or feeling overwhelmed I will stop immediately.  I DO NOT want to end up back in bed.

  I've discovered something about cooking - it takes more energy to make a casserole than it does to bake meat and microwave frozen vegetables and a boxed potato or rice dish.  I think we will also rely on bagged salad mixes and fruit salads.  As long as I have help getting the table ready (the girls can do that) and cleaning the kitchen mess afterwards (Jesse has been wonderful to do that), I think preparing basic meals will not be too much.

  I'm anxious to act "normal" again and be responsible instead of dependent.

  Some of the textbooks I ordered arrived Friday afternoon (part of the excitement that caused my meltdown of energy) and you would have thought the girls had gotten new toys or a new wardrobe.  I've never seen children get so excited about school!

  I sure wish I had something interesting to write; but, wearing a dress and having my hair in a ponytail is pretty exciting news for me!

  • 1:14 pm
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