Who said, "They were the worst of times and they were the best of times," or something close to that?

One week ago, we had Marcus with us.  His mother had (once more) told us she definitely didn't want him to come back to her until (at least) the end of the summer, after telling him he "might" get to come home soon.  She has changed her mind weekly, ever since he's been here, and has never been good (after the first few days) about answering our phone calls.

The events of the past 4 days, as they unraveled:

Jesse got back from Washington on Saturday afternoon.  We spent a nice evening (just the two of us) going out to dinner and visiting with each other about his trip.

Sunday morning, Jesse went to church and I stayed home with the "strep throat children."  When, out of his room, Marcus came to me announcing he'd finally gotten his mother to answer the phone the night before.  He told me she was coming the following Saturday (after she was finished with a workshop) to pick him up, but he wasn't counting on it because he hasn't been able to believe anything she's said up to this point.  She's promised him numerous times she was coming for him and then changed her mind and made US tell him he was staying.  Funny thing that she should tell Marcus, and not us, about her plans to come get him.  It broke my heart to hear him say he couldn't believe his mother.

I had purchased homeschool books and was preparing (the next day) to purchase a water park and amusement park pass for him for the summer.  Just two days earlier, I had lined up a month of psychologist appointments for him to receive counseling from a wonderful man.  Also, I was going to apply for medical insurance for him on Monday.  Of course, Jesse called her and her mother (Marcus' grandmother) to ask why the change in plans again; but, no one would answer their phones. 

I told Jesse I was done with his mother's indecisiveness.  She was turning my stomach into knots because I could never make definite plans for him and I could only imagine what her inconsistencies were doing to Marcus.  I felt strongly that her broken promises to Marcus were impeding our ability to help him, because the length of his stay changed almost weekly.  We have company coming on the next two weekends and her coming the next weekend wasn't convenient for us.  When Jesse finally got her to answer his call, he told her he'd meet her halfway that very same day and we wouldn't prolong his return any longer.  I told Jesse, I was afraid she'd change her mind again by next weekend and I wanted the game playing stopped IMMEDIATELY.  She was being terribly unfair to me (and Jesse) and sickeningly unfair to her son.

So, in the car we hopped a couple of hours later to drive almost 2 hours, meet his mother at a restaurant, and drive 2 hours back.  Remember, Jesse had just flown in from Washington 24 hours earlier.

Marcus' mother had no interest in what we had to tell her when we met her at the restaurant.  She briefly hugged Marcus, went to the restroom, and when she came back to the table she asked if he had remembered to pack everything.  He told her he had and her response was a sarcastic, "I seriously doubt that!"  She continued to speak to him in such a derogatory tone throughout our meal and I was embarrassed for him.  She asked us about him cussing at us and throwing temper tantrums and we assured her that NOT ONCE had anything like that happened.  We told her we had treated him with respect and in turn had received respectful behavior from him.  We had talked and discussed things frequently with him and found out his opinions about different things.  And, we had explained to him WHY we had to say "no" to some of his requests and that he had accepted our answer without sulking or getting angry . . . but, she interrupted us to say she really needed to buy a new sofa and table for her new place. 

Near the end of our visit, she used her best authoritative voice to tell him, "When you get home, you'd better plan to keep your nose in those school books you've been working in."  She doesn't know that I did NOT send the books home because they are expensive and I think he would never open them without someone to "teach" the subject matter.  He went outside to use her cell phone and I took the opportunity to tell her what level I thought he was at educationally.  I told her where I saw potential problems . . .  but she literally stood up while I was talking and said, "Well, I guess I'd better be going."

She was more interested in talking about her new dog, the new furniture she was going to buy, and how her children were spoiled (or words similar to that) and how things were going to be different for him when he got home.  There was no respect shown him, nor did she look me in the eyes when we spoke.  I choked down my meal and could barely look at her.  I was so disgusted with her and my heart simply ached (as it always does for a child with incompetent parents) for Marcus.

Meanwhile, earlier in the day when Jesse was on the phone with Marcus' mother, the guy who was helping him mow lawns showed up to collect money from mowing while Jesse was gone.  Jesse had received numerous complaints from customers because no one had mowed their yards last week.  Ends up, the "helper" had written down one address on a street and when Jesse drove him by the other 3 or 4 houses on that same street, showing him what had to be done, the guy never wrote the additional addresses down.  Consequently, one yard got mowed on a street and the rest were left undone.

Jesse told the helper he wasn't pleased because he had taken 3 hours before he left town to drive him by each and every house.  PLUS, he and Marcus had mistakenly mowed someone's yard who wasn't even a customer!  Some of the customers, who had their yard mowed, have been calling to say it needs to be redone.

Jesse paid his helper (AND Marcus) and told the helper to call him early Monday morning.  The helper never called yesterday.  BUT, Jesse could have cared less, as he spent the night and most of yesterday vomiting.  He left a message for the helper to call him.  He did call Jesse about 8:30 last night.  He told him he had found another job and had been at his "new" job all day and that's why he couldn't call him!  Oh brother!

So, today, Jesse is out alone (with a truck that still stinks from whatever the two guys ran over last week) trying to catch up with no helpers.  On top of that, he's still not up to par with his stomach problems.  The truck will cost about $100 to have it detailed to remove the odor from the under carriage.

I feel so sorry for Marcus and Jesse and realize I'm without power to fix anything for either one.

Marcus cried when I hugged him good bye and I told him he had done everything "right" and was NOT being kicked out of our house, but that I couldn't allow his mother to disappoint him one more time.  I told him I loved him and he bear hugged me with those tears in his eyes.

Same thing when Jesse hugged him in the parking lot of the restaurant.  He's mother was yacking on and on about the stupid dog (she had brought it with her) and Marcus' eyes welled up with tears when Jesse said, "If you remember just one thing we taught you, it will have been worthwhile for all of us."

Big sigh, here.

Marcus' departure has left a hole in our family and it feels weird to all of us for him to be gone, not to mention how suddenly it all happened.  Fortunately, we have two sets of visitors coming over the next two weekends and my focus is on those visits and having a good time. 

I'm praying for everyone involved in all that's happened in the past week.  Like every other sadness in life - I know that time heals everything.

We have our "dad" back!  He arrived on time yesterday afternoon, despite the heightened air security alert.  Earlier in the day, they had arrested 3 of 4 people who were plotting to blow up JFK airport.  Praise God, Jesse returned home unscathed!

He enjoyed his time in Seattle.  Actually, he was in Tacoma.  Time flew by much too quickly, but he was very glad he decided to fly there.  His sister was swamped with the funeral arrangements and all the business that went with it (before and after) and he really only spent time with her on Friday.  He DID spent a lot of time with his brother, who had lots of time to visit with Jesse.  This is the same brother who will be flying here in 2 weeks to spend 4 or 5 days at our house.  He's bringing our niece with him and the girls will enjoy her, I'm sure.  She is around 6 1/2, in between Rissy's & Annamarie's age.

Jesse came home full of stories about the beauty of Washington and talked about how lush and green things were, as well as the gorgeous mountains off in the distance, AND told me all about the wonderful food he had eaten.  I was afraid he would want to move there, but he was satisfied with just a visit.  I have family (probably more members than I realize) in Tacoma and so that would be nice for me if he chose to move us out there.  I grew up in California with the lush greenery and mountains in the distance; and, I DO appreciate the beauty of the west coast, but I have become a definite Okie and love it here, too. 

Driving to the airport yesterday, I wondered what it would be like for my brother, Bill, to come to Oklahoma for a visit.  He's very cosmopolitan, used to the "lush greenery & mountainous view" of the San Francisco Bay Area, and is a professional musician - ALSO used to a fast paced life.  As I drove the quiet, lonely back roads to the airport, I looked at the beauty of our lush, green fields (due to the monster rains we've been receiving) dotted with cows and horses and thought, "Bill would land at the airport, drive this route back with me to my house, and think to himself the whole time, 'I think I've just been dumped in the middle of nowhere!'"

I appreciate the open spaces of Oklahoma, and have resolved, within myself, the flatness of our state.  I remember the first year I was here, I used to drive 5mph when I went on an overpass so I would have the feeling of being "up" and looking "down" on something!  Having grown up in a hilly area in CA, I felt weighted down by the flatness that stretches on and on for miles in this area.   I've come to love the fields, pastures, prairie land (whatever you want to call it), and all the cows, horses, and other animals you pass - even when you are within the city going to another part of the city.  I don't know if I would want to move very far from here, nor would I want another place that's extremely different.

Jesse talked about the fast pace, the traffic and congested road problems, and the cost of living in Tacoma.  One night after dinner, he offered to buy a root beer float for his sister and he got one scoop of ice cream for himself.  He was shocked that it cost $8.00 (compared to about $3.50 in Oklahoma)!!!  He said parking around the ballpark was $15.00 on the street ($4.00 - $5.00 in Oklahoma), which sounded outrageous to him until he saw covered parking advertised for $25.00 ($10 or $12, here)!  Oklahoma is so inexpensive compared to the west coast states, which is nice;  even though we don't have flowers growing in everyone's garden, nor are their fresh flowers on every restaurant table, or flowers growing in flower boxes in front of shops on all the streets!

It's true, flowers are hard to grow here because of the clay soil and the harsh summer heat - but, at least we can afford to live here - and, very nicely!

I'm glad to have Jesse home.  I have lived his trip vicariously through his stories - and, that is good enough for me. 

Of course, he DID bring home packages of Tully's coffee, several loaves of sour dough bread, and a H-U-G-E box of See's candy for me.  Yes, that was definitely good enough for me!

June 1st???  Is it REALLY???  I MUST be getting old - REALLY old.  Time is racing by faster and faster every year.  Guess I had better hurry and do all those goofy things I always wanted to do before there is NO time left!  Ha! Ha!

Jesse will be returning from Washington tomorrow afternoon.  We've altered our plans for tomorrow because of his trip.  Tomorrow is the day we affectionately call, "The day that changed the rest of our lives" - a name stolen from my sister, Nancy, and her husband.  Although we sat in the same section at church and had said hello to each other for about 5 or 6 months, we had never spoken to each other.  On June 2nd, we both showed up at another church's Monday evening service and afterwards spilled our life stories to each other until 1:30am!  This will be our 10th June 2nd - the day that changed the rest of our lives.  We're going out for a nice meal and keeping it simple, since Jesse will be traveling from early morning until he arrives here between 2:30 and 3pm.

I've been doing well without Jesse, but yesterday ended up at the doctor's office and 3 of our children (Rissy, Luci, & Marcus) are now being treated for strep throat.  Yesterday, the new lawn guy, that helps Jesse, and Marcus drove through "something" spilled over the road.  When I came home from the grocery store, I had Marcus open up the garage door and the stench from Jesse's truck almost knocked me over.  The flies IMMEDIATELY swarmed from outside into our garage.  It smelled like the trash cans at the state fair after the tenth day!  I'm guessing a sewage or garbage truck dumped their precious cargo.  The guys said they washed the truck and the smell had been much worse before the car wash.  Last night, I moved the truck out to the driveway and had a friend of Jesse's come help Marcus unload the mowers into the garage.  The truck will remain in the driveway until we can find an "under carriage power washer" to remove the odor.  It was wafting in from the garage, under the utility room door, and into our kitchen.  I could smell it while we ate our chili dogs - VERY unpleasant and reminiscent of eating at the fairgrounds!

We've had lots more rain this week and more is expected tonight and tomorrow.  Bad for the mowing business!  I'm thinking I will need to start my tomato plants in clay pots.  After they are taller and can stand the puddling water in the big planting area, I will move them.  If I wait much longer, there may not be many starter plants left for sale.

I'm making chili for dinner tonight and that will give us enough leftovers to make it through the weekend and I'll LOVE not having to cook.  All of our children enjoy leftovers.  I think it's like going to a restaurant buffet in their eyes!

Well, I'm off to start being productive this FIRST day of June - before I lose momentum and steam!