June 11, 2007

• Monday Memories

  Today I am remembering birthdays from my early childhood. 

  No one birthday, in particular, stands out from the rest.  I have a conglomerate memory of bits and pieces from different parties, yet they all must have been very much the same, year after year.

  I remember inviting boys and girls.  I remember they all came dressed in their Sunday best.  That was in the days when your best church clothes and shoes were also your party clothes.  Girls came in frilly dresses and boys in their suits or, at least slacks, shirts & ties.  Gifts were wrapped with pretty paper and REAL bows, and there was no such thing as gift bags!

  I remember how we sent out invitation cards well in advance so there was time for those invited to plan on attending!  I DON'T remember theme birthdays like they have now.  No Care Bears, Mickey Mouse, Superman, etc.  Just pink for girls and bright primary colors for boys.  I wasn't the only deprived child because no one's party I attended had theme parties, either!  Maybe a few boys had cowboys and Indians, but nothing for girls.  Barbies had barely been invented.  A few girls had cakes made with plastic dolls inside and the cake was a dome shaped HUGE dress with frosting for the frills and lace on the skirt of the dress.

  I remember my mother setting the formal dining room table with extra leaves in the table and using a table cloth.  Pink plates, cups and napkins decorated the table and there were balloons everywhere.  I sat at the head of the oval table like a queen.  There were no party favors or gifts for the guests except hats and blow outs (if they were lucky) and balloons were usually the only thing sent home.  No helium or fancy balloons.  They were the kind of balloons your mom and dad blew up.

  We played games like Musical Chairs, Pin the Tail on the Donkey, Hard-boiled Egg or Potato Spoon Races, and other "old fashioned" games.  Not everyone won a game and not everyone went home with a prize.  But, everyone somehow survived the fact that there were winners and losers and nothing was done "politically correct."  Somehow children were genuinely happy when others won (and they lost) at the games; and, I don't remember one child whining or crying because of loosing.

  My gifts were "girly" things like "Tinkerbell" brand cologne, bubble bath, bars of soap, play make up, etc. or small stuffed animals.  Gifts were limited to $1.00 each.  Those with wealthy families sometimes sprang for a $2.00 game like "Chutes and Ladders" or "Operation."

  I wasn't asked what flavor of cake or what type of party I wanted.  I took what I got and was grateful.  My mother took great pleasure in "surprising me" each year with an angel food cake with confetti candies inside and strawberry ice cream, keeping with the "pink theme," I guess!  And, every single year, after the party, I remember lying on my bed with a stomach ache.  I have never cared for angel food cake OR strawberry ice cream, and . . . I still don't like it.  Angel food cake still gives me a stomach ache!  But I would have never dreamed of telling my mother I didn't like what she did for me or telling her I wanted something else.

  It seemed my birthdays were better than other children's parties.  That might have had something to do with the way my mother could coordinate things to make them appear special.  I have a few pictures from those early birthdays and my memory is accurate.  They WERE pretty and girly.

  Funny thing . . . the guests were served cake and ice cream and that was it.  No meals, no grab bags stuffed with candy - just cake and ice cream with Kool Aide or something similar.  And, everyone thought that was sufficient.  No one EVER complained that they didn't get a big enough piece of cake or said they hated the type of cake or ice cream.  My mother was always kind to ask each child if they wanted cake AND ice cream and if they wanted their ice cream ON the cake or on the side of the cake.

  When I got older, maybe in fourth or fifth grade, my mother would ask me what I wanted for my birthday dinner and every year I chose the same thing.  Sirloin steak, Noodles Romanoff (by Rice a Roni), and a tossed salad.  She stopped making the angel food cakes and I think that's when I voiced my request for chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream.  Mom bought Neapolitan ice cream to keep "everyone" happy!  I wasn't made to eat the vanilla or strawberry parts of the ice cream, which was a VERY big deal to me!  I was allowed to invite 2 or 3 guests to dinner and that was it.  THAT was my party.  I never complained.  Never asked for more.

  When I turned 16, my mother allowed me to invite as many people as I wanted and said we could go to a smorgasbord buffet.  I invited only 3 friends (one wasn't allowed to come because she was grounded) and my mom asked and asked if I was sure I didn't want to invite more people.  I guess I knew that inviting too many people wouldn't be considerate of my parent's tight budget.  I had a WONDERFUL evening with my family and friends the weekend before my birthday.  AND, I went out on the day of my actual birthday (during the week) with a nice guy.

  I didn't get a car on my 16th birthday or my 17th or my 18th.  I bought my first car at the end of the summer after I turned 17 (in 1970) with my own savings bonds.  A 1962 Falcon Squire Station Wagon.  Do you think a teenager these days would be happy with an older, out of style car?  I was thrilled.

  My birthday memories are mainly made up of the joy shared with the people who joined me to celebrate my day.  It was never about the spectacular gifts I received, because I didn't.  Nor was it about the lavish party my parents had for me, because they didn't. 

  I was just as happy to go to someone else's party and be happy for them when it was THEIR birthday.  I remember being so excited for my friends on their special day.

  One more thing:  Everyone's party was always on a Saturday afternoon.  It seems parents made the time for a child's party rather than slip it in on a Tuesday night when it was more convenient for the parent.

   

   

  • 5:39 pm
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