December 2, 2009

• Reflections of a Late Nighter

  I’m exhausted!  (???)    . . . No that’s not it.

  I’m still really sleepy.  (???)    . . .  Yes, that would be a little closer to how I feel.

  Last night, I had a lot of pain in my upper back & neck and absolutely COULD NOT fall asleep  It was well after 1:00am when I took a muscle relaxer, which, eventually, did the job.  I’m sure my lifting things from top shelves, while shopping yesterday, wasn’t the smartest idea!  I forgot and reached and I’m paying for it in my muscles today!

  Jesse went to bed early and the girls were in bed shortly after 9pm.  I was catching up and reading some blogs and looked up from the computer to realize – it was peacefully, silent!

  And, it was so very pretty in my house.

                           
                              My desk and computer screen and the doorway to the bedroom hall.

  It was clear from the snores coming from all of the bedrooms, that it had become my job to: make sure the doors were locked, put the food and pots away (Jesse had already gotten the coffee pot ready for the morning), turn down the thermostats, set the alarm, and make sure the fireplace doors were closed.

  IT WAS SOOOO QUIET!!!!!

                                  

  As you cans see from the clock, it was 9:30pm when I went into the den and saw a dark fireplace.  There was nothing more than some embers glowing at the bottom, under the grate.

  As I came closer to the fireplace, I saw two logs had not burned.  We have some wood this year that burns slowly or (sometimes) refuses to burn.  We have to encourage it with some beautifully seasoned hickory wood, which burns great and puts out a beautiful aroma!
  

                               

  I closed the glass doors to the fireplace.  My motion must have stirred up a breeze because the logs lit up and the flame was so beautiful and rich in color.

  I sat on the ottoman right smack in front of the fireplace and watched the newly lit flames dance over the logs.  I let the heat warm me up from the inside out!  It was incredibly peaceful – just the fire and me.

  My feelings were warm, fuzzy feelings.  My thoughts and remembrances were even warmer.
  

                            
                                                  I sat rather mesmerized by the flames. 
                                         And, I allowed the heat to penetrate into my soul.

  I prayed for different people – friends, family, and some strangers I’ve heard about through Xanga. 

  I thought of the things I had been so blessed with this year.  My oncologist & her nurse, the chemo room ladies,  the hospital testing (MRI, CT’s, etc.) staff, and the nurses who cared for me IN the hospital, when I was in so much pain and very miserable. 

  I thought of my sister-in-law, JoAnn, and how she had taken such good care of me this past year.  How she sacrificed her own life and freedom to stay cooped up in my Oklahoma house with me, all the while rubbing my arm or leg and talking to me with soothing words, to calm my pain or restlessness.

  I thought of how God said He will always take care of us and I thought about, “as you sow, so shall you reap.”  We have been amazingly “cared for” by God and people have come (some from unlikely places) to help our entire family this past year.  God’s promises were made manifest in my body, this year.  His mercy endures forever!
  
  
  He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble (PS 91:15)
  

                         
                                                   Aren’t these twin flames beautiful?

  I thought about my husband and my children.  I thought of all the benefits I have.  We had 3 more children LONG after I thought more babies were possible. 

  I thought about how I am allowed to stay home with my children and make a nice home for them AND Jesse.  And, I thought of how much I enjoy doing just that!

  I thought of Jesse’s faithfulness throughout our almost 13 years of marriage.  We gave our marriage to the Lord the day we were married.  We also gave this house to the Lord when we first bought it.   We have often asked God to fill our house with guests and people who need our help . . . people who need our faith and ones to whom we can be a witness of our faith.  Fellowship with like minded believers.  Hospitality.  Charity.

  Not by spewing out a bunch of Bible quotes or holding unbelievers prisoner with our words, while we beat the Gospel into them; but, by living an example of Christ-like behavior and making everyone feel warm and welcome in our home.  AND . . . treating them like royal guests.

  Other things that came to mind: 

  We are all healthy.  Even me!

  We have wonderful friends.

  We have money enough to live.  Not much more than “enough,” right now, but God has continued to faithfully provide Jesse with work, and show us bargain prices on foods and the gifts I’ve recently purchased.

  Our marriage is good.  I’m in love with my husband.  He is my closest friend and has been since right after we met.

  So many blessings ran through my head as I sat in front of that warm fire with the mantle’s Christmas lights twinkling over my head.

                                  

  Remember my collection of  dry bread? 

  The rolls that got stale.  The unused heel end of the loaves of sandwich bread?

                              

  Last night, while we ate dinner, I turned it into bread pudding.  I did something different this time.  I decided not to use rasins.  I added the usual vanilla, but also maple flavoring and apple chunks with lots of nutmeg and cinnamon.

  It turned out delicious and we ate it hot out of the oven with canned whipped cream spray over it!  In fact, I had some again for breakfast this morning!

                           

  It’s a VERY cold, blustery, north wind day.  There’s even a chance of light snow to be mixed in with the rain.  Probably not likely, but, a chance!  Today is a stay at home day, a catch up day, a make cookie dough day, a wrap gift day.

  I look forward to that fire roaring and my chilly toes being warmed, as I sit in the den looking through my old issues of Ideals Christmas magazines!  I’ll probably read some stories and poems to the girls this afternoon.

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 11:45 am
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