March 16, 2009

• Every Child can Learn SOMETHING

  Today’s post began as a comment on my friend’s ( Laurie ) blog.  From the length of this blog, you can tell it would have been an inappropriate comment!  Waaaay too long.  BUT, something from deep within my heart and soul made me write how I feel about special needs children/people.  I would encourage you to read Laurie’s blog.

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  As you know, I homeschool my three daughters.  What you don’t know is that we have no “grade levels” in our homeschool.   Annamarie will be 9yo, on the 29th of March.  She has been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (NOS) on the autistic spectrum.  (big words for “has a hard time remembering rules, making logical & wise decisions, or retaining things taught”)  She is in Kindergarten and does some 1st grade work.
  
  Luci (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) is VERY bright at 6.5yo.  I don’t doubt she will soon pass up Annamarie in the same grade level school books, in which they both work.  They are in the same books, but Annamarie reads slightly better – something that makes her feel good, considering Luci still stumbles when reading.  So, I ask Annamarie to read the instructions in their books, because it makes Annamarie feel successful.  Unfortunately, Luci throws fits and acts ugly (sometimes) in school.  The short time she was in public school (Pre-K) caused her to be expelled.  Not “suspended” – EXPELLED!!!!  They didn’t want her back because she was too disruptive.
  
  Rissy has mild cerebral palsy, is very bright, and excels in schoolwork and everything else she does.  She excels because she is an overachiever and a perfectionist.  She drives herself crazy trying to be perfect in every new thing she is taught.  Sometimes she cries in school because she doesn’t understand an assignment.
  
  Our school books range from Kindergarten to 2nd grade levels and each child works at her own rate of mastery.  Rissy reads the 2nd grade history, health, and science books out loud, and Annamarie and Luci follow the words with their pencils.  When Luci and Annamarie have to answer study questions (that I read out loud), they use phonics to determine the first letter of the correct answer and are required to write only that one letter (for example: “c” for calcium).  Rissy has to write her entire answer in sentence form.
  
  Digits or letters written backwards (like: d’s, b’s, and 3′s and 6′s) are corrected with my ink pen and an “Oops!  That’s facing the wrong direction,” comment from me.  They’ll get it right someday. 
  
  My oldest daughter (now 30) had a bunch of fancy name diagnoses when she was in school – that is – BEFORE she dropped out of high school.  I learned from her that hours of concentration could be spent, in her room, successfully playing Mario Brothers on her Nintendo; but, she couldn’t tell us how to get home from a 1/2 a mile away.  She couldn’t remember dates, names, or details of the great wars in history or the people involved.  Homework wasn’t done because she didn’t realize she HAD homework assignments.  If homework made it home, it was lost before she got back to school.  If it DID make it to school, she frequently didn’t hear the teacher ask that homework be placed in a box on the teacher’s desk.  She spent much time in a daze.  Not because she was rebeling, but because she lacked/s the ability to concentrate for long periods of time.  She never memorized multiplication facts.  Letters were written backwards.  She began to read on a high school level in elementary school; but, in high school she spelled like a child in elementary school – phonetically . . . and still does.  I have given her watches and day planner books, I’ ve helped her organize her closet, pantry, business papers . . . all to no avail.  BUT, she functions in the world – and only God knows how.
  
  My point is, I’m well aware of labels placed on children and names affixed (like “jerk” or “dumb blond”) and how damaging that is to a person’s self-esteem.  If you want a glimpse into their world – I would, again, recommend you read my friend’s (Laurie’s) blog about ADHD.
  
  So, in our home and our homeschool, we don’t move on until a job is learned and understood.  You don’t move forward until you can correctly figure 4+1=5 (not 8), how to empty the dishwasher and put the dishes away, or when it’s time to empty trash you must go systematically through each room to gather all the trash and not miss a waste basket.  Some of my girls can add and subtract with their eyes closed (because they visualize candy being given or taken from them) and some have simply memorized the facts.   One has to literally have objects placed in front of her and either added to or taken away from her.  She can’t add 2+2 on her fingers, because she sometimes ends up using two hands (2+2 fingers on each hand) and comes up with 8.
  
  1a)  My point is that Rissy (with C.P.) was handed to me and I was told, “IF she lives, she’ll probably be a vegetable.” 

  2a)  I was told that Annamarie would probably never read or be able to balance a check book.  I should put her in public school, because teaching a child like her took immense patience.  And, a child with her diagnoses was the most unrewarding type of child to teach. 

  3a)  AND, I was told Luci, the fit thrower, was best sent to public school because she would drive me crazy.  A therapist (a “good one”) told me she had a better than 50/50 chance of turning out okay since we were so consistent at home and I was consistent in home school.  It meant “at home” was probably the best place for her.

  Actually, that same therapist told me all of the girls were probably doing well due to the fact they were homeschooled and we spent so much one on one time with them.. 
  
  You see, I homeschool making allowances for each child’s “uniqueness” – not their “deficits.” 

  1b)  Rissy, my overachiever, doesn’t know she is in a first grade math book, and second grade history, health, and science books.
  
  2b)  Annamarie has learned to read!  Wow!!!  Professionals said she’d never read!  When I elaborate the book’s information and create a discussion in science or history, she remembers those facts and stories.
  
  3b)  Luci can be spanked and sent away from the table because I’m “Mom” and not a public school.  Public schools don’t have time to deal with her out of control fits.  That’s why she was expelled.  Luci can take the time she needs to “get herself together” away from the school table.  When she comes back to the table, she simply has to sit at the table finishing her work from where she left off when she started her disruptive behavior.  We live here.  We’re here all day.  So, she can take all day to finish her work if she is uncooperative.  She doesn’t find that pleasant.  The work DOESN’T go away and she is always expected to finish her work  The school doesn’t close.  Sometimes, she’s still at the table after the other two girls have moved onto playing.
  
  The most important thing about these children is that they are taught whatever they are capable of learning, regarding school lessons or life skills.  They are made to feel okay about themselves, because they are taught not to compare themselves to others.  The level of book they work in has nothing to do with failure or success in our eyes.

  When my children are asked by outsiders, “What grade are you in in school?”  They answer, “We are homeschooled.  We don’t have grades.” 

  Next comes the question from the insistent stranger, “Well, you *must* be in a grade in homeschool.  What grade are you in in homeschool?” 

  That’s when I intervene.  I tell them, “We work in whatever grade level is appropriate for each child’s proficiency in a particular subject.  We don’t move onto the next grade level unless the child understands at least 80% of what is taught in the current grade level.” 

  Most people frown, scratch their heads, and slowly respond, “You know?  That’s probably how it should be.  I guess children would benefit if they weren’t advanced to the next grade without mastering the previous grade level.”

  That’s when I smile and say, “Well, that’s what we believe.”

  Children with learning problems, or behavioral problems, can learn SOMETHING.  They should never be categorized into problem groups and labeled with awful names.  God sees each of us as His unique creations.  That means the child who never learns to be organized isn’t minimized in God’s kingdom. 

  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe we will be asked, as a prerequisite, to enter the gates of heaven, “If a train left the station going 60mph and, 15 minutes later, a second train left the same station going 70mph – how long would it take the second train to catch up with the first train?”

  If we are required to know that answer to enter heaven – I’m in trouble.

  In fact, please don’t expect me to be perfect today – I have to run and don’t have time to proof read this!

  Be Blessed  ~

  • 11:29 am
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